Chapter: Friends? How ridiculous! / The day the problems started

Thank you for the nice clerks, I was really happy ..... Now that it was unfortunately a bit too short, I thought I would just put two chapters together into one ^^ Have fun reading and I hope I get on so nice commis ^^

Chat, Addiction and Pain (Part 2)

Friends? How ridiculous!

If I had known at the time how much pain this computer caused me, I would never have accepted it. Well, I could have just kept my hands off this chat, although I'm happy in a way that I'm clean despite the "ban". Otherwise I wouldn't know all of my chat friends. There are, for example, the two siblings Stefan and Andrea from Hamburg, who have grown very dear to my heart, Timo from Cologne, who saved me from some pain, Daniela from Munich, who was always there for me, Benjamin from Kiel who is always there Took time for me and finally Felix, who always helped me.Why am I smiling now? I shouldn't smile. Of course you helped me and I am grateful for that, although you occasionally caused me pain, but despite all of your help, I have made up my mind here. I've made my decision. I don't want to live anymore and I will put an end to my life with the help of this razor blade. Again I sink into my thoughts and end up at the point where I go into the chat .....

The day the problems started

~~~~~ Flashback ~~~~~
Finally, the time had come. I had internet. I went in and first looked at my emails. Then I went straight to the chat. It was a feeling of freedom to go in there and know you can be online 24 hours a day if you want without looking at the clock. Well ..... only the parents were still the problem. But when they saw that I was chatting, because they just came into my room and I couldn't put another picture in front of me fast enough, they just said it was my thing.I was amazed, really amazed. Not a word. I was suspicious, but I didn't let the fun take away and started chatting. I chatted with my friends Laura, Nicole and saskia. I also got to know new people quickly, but it didn't turn into a friendship, unfortunately. It went on like this for 2 days. I was online for many hours a day, I would say I was addicted. From time to time until noon at night or all night. On the 3rd day in chat I met Daniela. A 14 year old girl which was very kind to me. We became friends quickly and chatted late into the night. I was very happy because I knew this friendship would last longer, maybe forever. I got her trust and she got mine for it, even though I don't quickly give up my trust. It takes longer before I really trust people. But Daniela had a certain warmth in her sentences that strangely I knew I could trust her.We left the chat late at night after chatting for almost 4 or 5 hours. We wanted to meet again the next day and continue chatting.
The next morning I got up feeling contented. I went to school, but what I got to know shocked me. My friend Kate ran up to me and told me that her boyfriend had left her. She said: ".... actually I didn't want to sleep with him yet, it was my first time, but I thought he loves me and is serious about me, but no! This morning he just said thank you for the 100 & # 8364; which I won thanks to you. I saw his friends, each giving him 50 & # 8364 ;. Oh Lena, he made a bet that he would get me to bed. And I'm so naive and go to bed with hm. "She started to cry and while sobbing, she asked me:" What ..... what should .... * sob * ..... me the ..... * sob * ..... do now?"She was completely dissolved. I got reassured, but she could not anymore, you could tell from her, although she was doing very strongly. I felt really sorry for her, but unfortunately I couldn't do much. But this problem shouldn't be During the long break, my friend Svea came to me and said she had a little problem, I wasn't really keen to hear it, but I wanted to help her if I could, so I listened. " You know ... how am I supposed to say it? So ..... I fell in love with Kevin from your class, but I know very well that I won't have a chance. Just what should i do now? I've already tried to suppress the feeling, but there's nothing you can do about love, "she said very sadly to me and I saw that it caused her a lot of pain. I was in a trance on one side, as everyone had problems in love at the moment.Why did they all come to me? I hadn't even experienced love myself, so how could I help them? I told her not to see everything so negative and wait. After she left, my good mood was gone from the morning. I was worried about Kate and Svea. After school, I went home, totally depressed, hoping that Daniela might help me.
~~~~~ Flashback end ~~~~~