Chapter: Smoke is ...

moonlight drunkenness
a Ranma ½ ff from Sojachan

[i]When I was a child, the world was mine. This was so and nothing and no one could have dissuaded me from it.
Everything was mine, and everyone was there to give me joy.
My kingdom was the most beautiful, and as a legitimate owner I could look down on everything else.
As I got older, however, the doors of my kingdom closed and I was faced with the hardship of the fact that I was just an unworthy little part of this world.
Not that I was particularly shocked ...[i]

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It rained.
The sun was well hidden behind the dreary, gray clouds and an icy cold
Freeze my limbs.
I breathed on my hands testily, I was right, all my nerves seemed dead, I felt nothing.
Shivering, I pressed myself closer to the house wall and let myself sink onto the floor.
If I had at least brought gloves ...While I quietly pulled the next cigarette out of the box, the rain got heavier.
Rabiat I stuffed it between my lips and took out my lighter.
"Listen with that too," Ranma said, giving me a stern look.
I didn't give a damn about his opinion
`He who dies earlier is dead longer 'is what they say, and that was worth striving for.
"Do you really want to pollute your lungs?" He admonished me again in his mind.
Yes, that's exactly what I wanted, I wanted to sit here, behind the dojo, pull on one of my glow sticks and be left in peace.
`Also from you Ranma! ´

Inwardly, I cursed him for being right, like so often lately.
"Don't be a child anymore, think, you are only poisoning yourself!"
But why, damn it, couldn't I just behave like a kid:
Do stupid things and not be sensible.
From now on I decided to be a child, an irresponsible, 17-year-old child who was currently sitting almost apathetically on the wet stone floor behind the dojo and was 12.Cigarette smoked in an hour.
I took a deep drag.
I tapped my half-empty Gauloises box with my fingers and blew the smoke out again.
The calming effect of nicotine slightly clouded my senses and I leaned my head back with relish.
"Don't you want to stop or don't you because I told you to?"
Without saying a word, I took another drag and stared at my very interesting feet.
Ranma's piercing gaze burned my skin, it was as if he could read me like an open book.
"Stop the crap at last!" spoke the voice of reason again.
I didn't want to see him, I didn't want to talk to him, I didn't want him to be here or to leave.
I felt his regular breath coming closer and closer and SCHWUPS landed mine
Nicotine source on the floor where she was doomed to death by drowning in the heavy rain.
Reluctantly, I turned to him, I could see traces of anger on his worried face ... of fear."Ranma you don't need to worry about me, damn it, let me have my life, life!" I whispered inconspicuously.
"YOUR LIFE? I'm sorry, but even if it doesn't suit you, I'm part of 'your life' and don't let you destroy yourself ... and ... who says I'm worried ?!"
"your face…"
He was silent, I noticed how his pale expression turned into a smile.
I pulled my frozen legs close to my cold body and stared obsessively at my fiancé. "You are right ... but ..." his dull grin tore my body control to pieces and I let my head sink a little too jerkily "... we have a winner, again."
Ranma nodded hastily before reaching for my cigarette box and almost 'tenderly' breaking the first glowing stick.
Hesitantly, I did the same, a hideously fluffy eight of destruction began and only ended when the neck of the last cigarette was brutally broken."Hah, long live the chaos!" said Ranma triumphantly "... and lets it stay from now on ?!"
I nodded.
"Sure?" "Quite sure!" with his left hand he lovingly ruffled my hair.
"Take a shower, you stink of smoke!" was the last thing I heard before my so-called 'savior' went back into the house.
I took one last look at my empty box.
He was so right.

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