Chapter: Imaginary neon spoon

"Fier ift the agreed meeting point", Mimü whispered dignified between her fizzy cola lollipops. We had run out of shampoo for almost 43, 3129283 hours, so she had to temporarily switch to effervescent powder. Unfortunately, I myself was too stupid for lollipops. It was the third time that I had eaten the chopsticks. I just didn't want to understand why not, they were so beautifully cross.

"Erfkrüfel?", Mimü thundered majestically. "Who?" I asked in surprise; torn from my chopsticks dreams. Annoyed, she took her lolly out of her mouth with a gesture that no one, except perhaps a chain smoker, could do so elegantly. "EARTH CRUMBS! So: you!"

Why did she hit me again now? How should I know that lollipops cause speech defects, apart from the numerous self-experiments. "What is it, mistress?" I asked ruefully. She looked at me with the admonishing look of a dog master: "You are probably not thinking about crispy lolly sticks again, are you?By the way, you have an ultra-secret secret message from our contact person, code name: Neon, with a rubber arrow on the center of your forehead. "

Erdkrümel turns her head to the side in surprise and skillfully caught me with the end of the arrow in my contemptuous looking eye. "Where? Where?" She asked in the mindless voice of a vanilla-scented vacuum cleaner. "I don't see the arrow," she said desperately. My facial muscles twitched, I tore the arrow from her forehead and promoted the lack of plan in person with a kick of my graceful combat boots into the next bush, not without throwing another fizzy candy at her. I skilfully slit open the letter attached to the arrow and read the message:

You have overwhelmed me. Need shampoo. Comes to the west wing of the idiot building.

neon

PS: bring toilet paper.

"By the ladybug," I hissed through my octagonal canine teeth. Crumbs of earth, still lying on the floor and busy chewing on her shower, looked up worriedly.“Mistress, what happened?” “They took the shampoo reserves from him and apparently left him behind. On the west wing. Damn it ... I told Neon that his brightly bright green clothes are not exactly beneficial during a night and fog storm of the idiot company . "Without saying any more, I grabbed the crumbs of earth by my wrist and flew with her into the sky. After another five minutes and seven fizzy candies (which I gave her to calm her down) later, we ended up silently in a clearing. Gnarled, old trees surrounded this piece of meadow and the moonlight penetrated the clouds and seemed to paint strange pictures on them. I could swear a cloud looked like Tinky-Winky on hallucinogenic substances. Then I saw it: neon. He was curled up on the ground, the sunglasses he had stolen from morphine were a few meters away, as was Tinitus' coat, who had apparently still not noticed that Neon was regularly clearing her closet.A cool gust of wind ruffled the grass under Mimu's shiny black combat boots and played around with its dark claws Neon's bright pink, adventurously boring hair. Neon's hands clenched while he tried to get back on his feet with a painful rattle. Mimü leaned over him, so close that her sharp fangs almost touched his ear and whispered gloomily: “Do you think it's air, what you are groaning?” Neon looked with a slightly stupid-looking expression, which I usually only from the morning walk to Mirror was familiar, up to her and asked, "Huh?"

"Forget it. You are foggy, comes from the lack of shampoo consumption. Eat that." With these words, she handed him a lolly in the delicious soap flavor. Why did he get the shower with the crispy stick and I didn't?

"Shampoo deficiency? What are you talking about? It's morphine to blame, him and his damn bright pink capsule!" He replied, but accepted the lolly anyway.He straightened up completely, grabbed his sunglasses and threw his coat over his shoulders with a quick and, incidentally, incredibly cool movement. "Right.", Mimü replied calmly, "these capsules are really bad and not only how it pops, but also these stupid side effects." She gave him a nasty look at his hair. But when she asked me, I thought bright pink looked great on him.

He tossed his hair back and then said, just as matter-of-factly as emotionless: "And why all this? Well, it doesn't matter, at least we have to get the shampoo back now. His voice was so dreamily empty and expressionless, easy to melt away.

"Oh yes ... Mimu ...", he then said, "what is this[b]that[i]?" His outstretched hand points to me. "An industrial accident."

"But we have no more time for questions. After we have the shampoo, we have to concentrate on the liberation action of our fellow fructirs, because every second that we show senseless cynicism here, they are cruelly tortured with smelly socks ."" Animal testing should really be banned. We can join the BETA, "said Erdkrümel. We still have a little time, I thought grudgingly." Firstly, we are not animals, we are fructiers, and secondly, it's PETA, not BETA. Unless you think that promoting underpaid computer scientists can curb the number of stinking socks. Why don't you make a sign saying "Kill Bill" or "Don't give gates a chance"? “I watched in amazement as Erdkrümel took out a Diddl notepad and a pen and enthusiastically began to paint.“ ERDKRÜMEL ”I barked. But of course I screamed loudly on purpose, because Neon had already finished hanging our upper bodies on ropes -and-fidget-crazy-through-the-area Action, and I wanted to attract the security guards. "Where did you get the ropes from anyway? ", I asked him suspiciously." Oh, Seifer wanted to try free bungee jumping and gave me the stuff here because he no longer needs it. "" Aaahja, "I said, although some people are more stupid than everyone else stacked McDonalds branches appeared."There's no spoon," he muttered with his eyes tightly closed. And apparently no brain either, I thought. However, I was torn from my contemptuous thoughts when black figures with the ugly profile head rushed towards us on their vests. It was two of the security guards. "Let the games begin," I shouted to the dangling neon and the scared-looking crumb of earth.

[i]Oh you holy ladybug! They came up to us, these wardrobe-shaped 1. 50 grand idiots. Now it was over! We would die. In a panic, I started screeching beyond the decibel limit.

"DAMN CUMBLE! Shut up!", Mimü shouted so loudly that her breath almost whirled me away. She glanced over her shoulder at the two idiot guards, who were writhing on the floor in pain and moistening the grass with the blood that had flowed from their ears due to their torn eardrums. "On the other hand ..." she mumbled then.The menacing-looking, gorilla-like guards tortured themselves to their feet again and began to stomp loudly to Mimu.

But suddenly Neon tried to jump in front of Mimü and heroically defend her, but unfortunately he threw the rope, which was still tied around his upper body and now a little rough and with a lot of momentum against the tree trunk. "The spoon is with me," he gasped weakly. "I thought there was no spoon?" Mimu asked sarcastically. With a skillful kick in the soft tissues, she carried the idiot guard into the realm of unpleasant dreams. The remaining guard opened his mouth, sneezed and sent his microbes towards neon at 130 km / h. He managed to put on his or Morphium's sunglasses, lean back and do an evasive stunt in simply cool slow motion.

You could say this was exaggerated and ridiculous, which of course it was, but it was my inescapable duty to adore him in teenage fashion."That was sooooo cool neon!" I squealed.

Mimü's plate-sized eyes had widened a bit and she fought hard with a violent fit of laughter. "Yes ... really ... great ..." But my mistress quickly recovered and called to me in an imperious tone. "Erdkrümelle, my Frisbee!"

I hastily pulled my amazing, extremely inconvenient 2U backpack from my back and, after spending ten minutes unfastening the buckles, began to search it. Now I devoted myself entirely to its amazingly spacious interior. In such a backpack more fit than you thought, after all Klara Soft was able to stow five large medipacks and one or two rocket launchers in it. After another thirty minutes, during which the guard waited politely for me to finish, I tossed my mistress the precious Sparkasse giveaway. "Here Xemu! Destroy him!"

Elegantly I caught the Frisbee of Death, which of course left no injuries on my hand.With narrowed eyes I threw it at the guard and severed exactly the main artery and[b]part of the spine. "Seems like the almost brainless Nick Kater got competition," I said unmoved. Now, ignoring the whining behind me, I set out to feel the guards' bodies and take four Fructis shampoo bottles from them. I tossed a crumb of earth that naturally managed to pop it right against its empty brain canister. When I also wanted to give Neon generously (after all, he hadn't helped us but only trained for the Ravensburger Puppenkiste), I noticed who had caused the whining: Neon was hanging on the ropes, but apparently it had gotten stuck a bit. Couldn't contain myself, I threw myself on the floor and laughed until my fairly well-trained diaphragm ached. Then I stood up again with dignity and just said: "Isn't there something from Potenziopharm?"I went up to him and cut the ropes when suddenly two figures jumped out of the bush. They were wearing white suits and blond worms seemed to be sprouting out of their heads. They were alike from worm to sole, even their sunglasses were identical. The first step towards Neon: "Potentiopharm- good prices! "The second now also moved forward:" Good stamina! "I rolled my eyes, but someone spoke to me too." You want to buy rose? "" Beatiful sunglasses! "I stuffed a KickCat bar into their mouths." I won't be back, "I called to them, grabbed the pills, neon and crumbs, pushed myself off the floor and flew with my luggage (from which the