Chapter: I will be happy in death

Can`t we die together?

Chapter 1: I will be happy in Death

She looked uncertainly at the small crystal bottle with the green liquid in his hand. She didn't know if she should really go ahead with her plan. She tried to dispel her doubts with the events of the past few days that had brought her to her mind in the first place.
It was about five days ago when she went to the doctor. He had made it clear to her that she had AIDS. In the terminal stage. She had always had more problems with colds and other illnesses than other children, but she hadn't expected that. She had maybe two weeks, maybe two years, who knew? Only one thing was certain: from tomorrow onwards she would no longer be allowed to leave her room, as the likelihood was too high that she would catch another minor virus outside that could possibly be fatal for her. But it was already clear to her that she would not adhere to this prohibition.It was far too boring at home for that, she would flee after two hours. And then she would get sick again and never be allowed to leave the house again. Her father would hook her up to all sorts of machines just to keep her alive. She didn't want to live like that, tied to the bed and half dead. But she didn't want to die like that either. So she saw only one alternative: she went to the doctor again this morning and stole a vial of this green liquid, hoping it was poison and would kill her.
Only there was still something that kept her from this final decisive step: HE. The boy she loved. The boy who used to tell her never to give up when she was sick. The only one who had sat by her bed for days and nights until she was well again. But that was over, he was gone, moved to another city with his father. He had always promised her to visit her, or at least write her a letter, but neither one nor the other happened.He had most likely just forgotten about her and would never come back to her.
These thoughts confirmed her plan and gave her the courage to take the very last step. Before changing her mind, she unscrewed the lid of the bottle and drank all of the green liquid. She fought hard against the urge to spit it all out because it felt like fire was pouring down her throat. But she succeeded. Her vision became more and more blurry and eventually everything went completely black around her. She didn't even notice how she hit the ground ... ... ...

No turning back
you stand at the window and you look out
and outside the sun is shining, but deep night reigns in you.
If it weren't for the last bit of doubt in you
you would have made the last step long ago.

Nobody there who understands you
and know what's going on inside you

walk through the streets and you see: life is raging around youbut in you only death rages.
You would give anything for an emergency exit from this life
or for a lifeboat.

You don't know what to do with you anymore
you want to be everywhere, just not here.

Never again lovesickness, never again alone
never again bad luck, never again luck
no kiss in the rain and no sunset
realize it's true:
There is no going back.

You want yourself with a gun on your temple
Free from your pain for all eternity.
Should the twitch of your index finger actually?
be the last act in your life?

Your own pains end,
but please make one thing clear to yourself:

You have only exchanged your suffering for something else
nothing is better, not a piece.
Those who lose you will feel the pain forever
if you go- you understand:
There is no going back.

You only see the negative side of everything
swim in a deep sea of ​​sadness.
The fact is that we must all die
only most of them would like to have more time.We only have this one life
no one can give you a second.

Never worry again, never lose again.
Never again bad luck - never again luck!
No second chance and certainly no happy ending
realize it's true:
There is no going back ...

:;:;:;:; Sorry, but the song went so well, so it had to be included. She doesn't die, of course ... not right away. :;:;:;