Chapter: * ~ * 1 * ~ *

It doesn't matter what I want
It doesn't matter what I need
Whether I cry or laugh
Scream or whisper
Nobody hears me!
Nobody sees me!
I want to fall
Fall into the darkness that is the only one by me
Fall into the void that gives me hold

I do not know where to go
Don't know which way to go
Stand in between
Seek advice
But nobody helps me
I am alone
Lost in the future
Beaten in the present
Caught in the past

Everyone is pushing me
Nobody asks if I want that
Everyone knows better
Ignore my doubts
Nobody there to help me
No one to hug me
Nobody to let me go

Why do you decide?
Why not me?
It is my future that you are pushing me into
A future I don't want
I want to go
Want to break out!
I want to get away from this pressure
This compulsion

But you hold me tight
Urges me further
Forces me into a room without a window
Lock the door and leave me behindDo you care how I feel?
Will it break me and perish?
And finally lose everything?
Everything that defines me
My laugh?
My crying
My heart and my soul?

I want to live
I want to see what the future holds for me
Wanna know if I can do it alone

Everything I can and what I am
All of this disappears with each passing day
With every day that I move on
Go the way you chose for me

I can feel it's wrong
Know it's wrong!

My laugh - played
My tears - hidden
My voice - toneless
My eyes - empty

I've changed
I am calm and closed
Suppress my fear, my worries
My anger!
The anger at you!
The anger at myself!

I know it will break me
I know I won't make it
And I know that you will only notice
when I'm on the ground!

And till then
I go on
I live on
Play something for everyoneKeep playing my role
Until I fall
And no longer find a hold ………….