Calamity

The weekend seemed to go on forever for me. When I was at school for half the day, I had my healthy balance to all the unnatural incidents of recent times. Now I knew what it felt like to live in an unwanted fantasy world that was too real for my taste. As it was slowly getting dark, I decided to go for a walk in the city. I loved evening walks, half under cover of the dark. The lights seemed to enchant everything and clothed the gloomy reality in mild colors. And even if there were still a lot of people around, it was like the city was slowly going to sleep, and its fear of the dark connected people in a quiet way. And yet they were all so strangers and avoided one another. I found it fascinating, but I always felt like I didn't belong in here. I had always found the darkness of the night protective rather than a threat.In fact, I was slowly getting used to seeing shadows forming. . . unnaturally moving. Lately I've seen this kind of thing a lot and in the beginning it was really terrifying, but now I was of the opinion that things were only threatening to me when they were also dangerous. But I knew the shadows wouldn't attack me, and maybe it was just my own mind playing tricks on me. I just knew the darkness was good. I felt much safer there and suffering turned into indifference that was much easier to bear. In daylight you felt like you were in the middle of a spotlight, so unprotected from staring gazes. I frowned when I realized what thoughts I was thinking. Suddenly I saw something flash out of the corner of my eye. A small piece of steel that was probably lit by a passing car. A razor blade in the hands of a girl who was sitting on the stairs, sheltered from a front door.Blood ran down the blade and arm. . .Fuck! She cut her wrists! I turned around in a flash and snatched the piece from her hand. "Damn it, what are you doing?" I shouted in horror as I fished handkerchiefs out of my jacket pocket and laid half a pack on her arm. She looked at me with a mixture of bewilderment and utter despair. And that's when I recognized her. It was Darlon's sister, Mairien.
Why hadn't I thought about Darlon the whole time? "Oh man," I sighed and sat down next to her on the stairs. It looked like I had picked up a strange problem again. And I didn't even know what it was. "Tell me, do you want to talk about it?" I then asked in a calm tone. She just sat in silence and looked into space, with an expression on her face as if she were weeping bitterly. But not a tear left her sad eyes. "Come on, what happened?" Now she was looking down."I just can't anymore," she sobbed, but without crying, "I don't know, it's just all so... Bad, so hopeless... There is no longer any point ...". She was still desperately looking for words, but I was just disappointed. Did I really have to hear from a fourteen-year-old how bad and senseless life was? "You have no idea," I said quietly. I just didn't understand that. It had to border on a miracle that she had survived so long at all, if she wanted to kill herself for such a reason. If she knew what I'd been through ... And how the hell was I supposed to teach my best friend about his sister's death? Why did these people never think of others when it really mattered? And immediately I was ashamed of my thoughts. When did I start to think so badly of others? I felt heartless to myself. She looked at me reproachfully now.She must have recognized my gaze. "Shit," she said as she looked down at her bloody arms. Well, you can say that out loud, I thought. I was sure that my life two years ago was nowhere near as bad as hers is now. I couldn't have dreamed of even thinking of suicide. Back then the world was still good, life was so carefree and innocent at the time, even if you had already noticed then that something was lost. It had definitely been easier than it was now. What would happen to her if she was already thinking that way? What kind of world had it become? “You won't say anything to my brother, will you?” I actually wondered for a moment whether I could really expect him to do that, but then I thought that he would see her scars anyway. "I guess I'll have to do that," I said. It was a terrible situation.I knew well enough myself what it was like to be betrayed in this way, just because people really wanted me only good. But I no longer asked myself what was right because it was never entirely right. You always let someone down, and I just hoped people would forgive me if they found out the truth.
Then she said: “You're just like my whole stupid family. Heartless to the point of going no more.” I had to grin. Darlon was by no means heartless, but sometimes he had so much passion in him. . . I was indulging in old memories again. I hadn't seen him in days, and he went to my school. Why did I just kind of feel bad thinking about him? It started to rain slowly. "What is Darlon doing?" I asked. She shrugged, "I have no idea, I haven't been home for two days," she confessed."Oh Mairien", I sighed and helped her to her feet, "Come on, I'll take you home now". I really had to talk to Darlon again. She just twisted her mouth in resignation, took my helping hand because she was still quite shaky on her feet and then decided to follow me the whole way without a word.
Why was she causing her family so much trouble and how could she be so unhappy? I didn't understand and I didn't want to. It was like a dark, dense shadow that slowly began to lay over our souls. I shivered from this thought and therefore decided to let it rest. Soaked and dejected, I knocked on the old, already half rotten door, which, together with the rain, seemed to swallow the sound. Mairien stood wrapped up with her hood and singed eyes, like a pile of misery. Then Darlon opened it. "Hey," he said softly. And kind of gentle, I thought. It was so nice to finally see him again. "I...just rescued your sister, "I said, taking her arm and showing Darlon the cuts. Mairien was still staring at the floor." Oh man, "Darlon groaned with a dismayed look." Okay, thanks for bringing her here, Siras ". He pulled her in, raised his hand briefly in goodbye and then closed the door behind him. Completely perplexed, I stared at the door. I just couldn't believe it, what the hell was that? I was so happy was to finally see him again, wanted to talk to him about everything, and he just turned me away coolly, as if I were a stranger. Damn it, what was the matter? He was never like that and I trust him now too admitted that he actually skipped school. It really hurt me so much now. Darlon was the most important person I had. I felt so lonely, abandoned, hated and displaced. I felt like I had a ton of weight Load on mine Soul and I could really have howled.Yes, the weather was just the best for it, because of the rain you wouldn't see that I was crying. But to add to the agony, I couldn't get a single tear out and the suffering almost seemed to overwhelm me. Some strange force probably wanted me not to have a happy minute anymore. And probably not just me. What had become of the world? What happened that made it happen?