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Soo ... and now I'll get in touch with a one-shot after nothing came from me for a while ^^

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It was well after school ended when Jyudai wandered through the long corridors of the Academy again. He had left his notebook in the classroom and was now on his way to get it. Lost in thought, he kept looking out the window. Although his mind should have been on the upcoming homework, after all, he had promised someone that he would always do it, his mind was constantly wandering to a completely different topic. The brown-haired man stopped, leaned on the window sill and looked outside. It was already evening and the sun was already going down. For a few minutes he stood motionless, staring into the sunset. He loved sunsets, they always reminded him of Johan. He sighed. // Johan ... I ... I'm such an idiot ... // Tears welled up in Osiris' eyes and he let his head drop a little.He knew he'd made a mistake, a serious mistake. He had broken the heart of the Swede and allowed the wonderful relationship between the two to change so badly. Osiris went through the evening, two months ago, when he had hurt him so much again.

~ Flashback beginning ~

It was evening. Johan and Jyudai were sitting on the roof of the school. As usual, they watched the sunset and talked about the day. After the sun had completely set, the two actually wanted to go back to their room, but Johan had a better idea. He persuaded Jyudai to take another walk.
The two walked in silence for a while across the grounds of the academy. Suddenly Johan stopped. He had planned something very special for this evening that he now wanted to put into practice. Although he had been planning to do this for a while, he kept doubting himself. But this time everything was different, he had made it up for today, exactly planned, like the evening up to the point when he finally said it should have expired.Jyudai also stopped and looked at the taller one in confusion. "What is Johan?" He asked. Asked took a deep breath and then turned, redheaded, to the smaller one.
"Jyudai .. I ... it ... there is something important that I want to tell you ..." The Osiris looked questioningly at his friend. "What's going on Johan?" "It's been a long time on my mind what I'm going to tell you ... I was just never sure enough whether I should tell you ... but now ... Have I finally found enough courage to tell you ... "He paused and waited briefly to see if Jyudai wanted to say anything else, but when he only looked questioning and confused, the Swede continued his speech," What I want to tell you Jyudai is ... "There was another little pause in which he took one last deep breath before he finally said," I love you, Jyudai. "
The brown-haired man also turned red. He stared at his friend perplexed. He couldn't really believe what he'd said."Johan I ... you ... are for me ... a friend ... a very good friend ... but just a friend no more ..." He shook his head. "Johan .. I don't feel the same for you as you do for me ... I'm sorry ..." He looked at the floor. "I am sorry..."
The turquoise-haired man looked at the brown-haired man in disbelief. Tears gathered in his eyes. He'd waited so long, waited for the right moment. Encouraged yourself again and again that everything will work out and now ...? Now he was rejected, Jyudai had made it clear to him that he did not love him. "Jyudai .. I ..." He looked away. "I'm sorry ..." He turned and ran away.
Jyudai wanted to follow him, but something inside told him not to do it. Johan wanted to be alone. He knew that he had hurt his friend a lot and in the same instant he wished he could take back what he had said.

The Swede kept running until he finally reached the roof of the academy.Where he had spent so much time with the brown-haired man. He let his tears flow without paying attention to whether anyone was around or not. He just wanted to be alone ...

~ Flashback end ~

The two students hadn't spoken a word to each other since that evening. Whenever the two saw each other, Johan avoided looking at him. He avoided any of Jyudai's eyes.
Tears rolled down Jyudai's cheeks and fell onto the windowsill. He still couldn't quite believe it, he had lost Johan. The only person who really understood him, who knew him like no one else. The person who was so similar to him as only twins were usually.
It was only during the time Johan distanced himself from him that Osiris realized how much he actually liked him. How much he meant to him, that he needed him and couldn't imagine a life without him. He had realized that he was in love with the other one, he just hadn't wanted it to be true before.Johan meant more to him than anything else in the world.
Jyudai had already tried to talk to the turquoise-haired man a few times, to tell him how he felt about him. But he avoided any conversation with Osiris. For fear of being hurt again.

More tears fell on the windowsill. // Johan ... I ... it ... I'm so sorry ... Damn it! I'm sorry ... I love you ... I was blind ... Blind ... Damn it! // He hit the windowsill with his fist. "Johan ...", he kept sobbing, "Damn it ..." Still with tears in his eyes, the brown-haired man made his way to the classroom. He knew it didn't do him any good to just stand there and cry over his friend. He had to do something. But what if Johan didn't talk to him?

All the way through, Jyudai thought desperately what he could do to make the turquoise-haired man listen and not think it was a joke. As much as he thought about it, he couldn't think of anything to do, the only thing that came into his mind was to just tell him.But what would Johan then think of him? Would he believe him? Would he think it was a lie, just to maybe save the friendship? Would he hate him for hurting him so badly? Would Johan then also hurt him because he just deserved it? He didn't know, he didn't know what was going to happen, but after some back and forth he decided to tell Johan. He couldn't lose much, since the relationship between the two was already on the brink of one way or another.

When Jyudai got near the music hall, he heard music. A piano game. He stopped in front of the door to the hall to listen to the music. It had a strangely calming effect on him. He didn't feel as sad and upset as before. No, now a pleasant calm pervaded him. He leaned against the wall, closed his eyes and listened a little more to the music.
A little while later, he couldn't take it anymore. He really needed to know who could play the piano so well at school.Carefully he opened the door to the room in which the piano was standing and crept inside. Just as quietly, he closed the door again. With slow, quiet steps he went over to the piano. He stopped a few meters away from it. The Osiris smiled inwardly when he saw who was sitting there playing this beautiful music. Johan was sitting at the piano, he had closed his eyes and continued to play undeterred. He had not yet noticed that Jyudai was here. He stopped dead in his tracks, closed his eyes and enjoyed it.

After the Swede had finished playing the piano, he opened his eyes again and - saw Jyudai. At first he had intended to just get up and leave, but abandoned that plan when he saw that he had closed his eyes and was just listening. "Jyudai ..." he whispered, barely audible, but loud enough for him to hear and look at him. Johan averted his gaze. He couldn't. He couldn't look at him.Couldn't forget how embarrassed he was.

Jyudai went over to him and put a hand on his shoulder. He took a deep breath. "Johan ... I ..." "Please ... Go ...", the turquoise-haired interrupted him, "Leave me alone ... I want to be alone ..." Gruffly, he wiped the little one's hand off his shoulder . He looked at him sadly. "Johan ... I ask you ... listen to me ... I want to tell you something important ..." He started his speech again, hoping that the bigger one listened to him and didn't run away like the other times . "What do you want?", The obelisk hissed at Osiris, "Do you want to hurt me again, like the last time?" He looked at him angrily, but the brown-haired man just shook his head. "No, Johan-kun ... I don't want to hurt you, never again ... you are just too precious to me for that ..." Carefully he touched the Swede's cheek with his hand, the Swede winced slightly and wanted his head already pulling away, but did not when he saw Jyudai's loving look."You know Johan ... I only noticed how much you mean to me when you avoided me ... Without you ... I was so lonely ... So alone ..." He paused and came to him Face of the other closer and closer, until he finally touched his lips and kissed him. Johan stared at him perplexed. He hadn't expected that. "Johan ... I love you ...", Jyudai breathed in his ear, "I was just such an idiot ... I didn't notice the whole time ... I hope you can forgive me ..." First saw Johan looked at him suspiciously, but then nodded. "Jyudai ... If it really is what you just said, then I forgive you." He paused and closed his eyes. "Jyudai ... I love you ... I would forgive you anything." Happy Jyudai looked at his friend, hugged him and kissed him again.
"Me too Johan-chan, me too ..."

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My first Shonen-Ai FF ...

I say I think it sucks ... Sorry for the expression ... but I don't really like it ^^ '' ''To you?