A-order part 2

I tried convulsively to defend myself against the grip that was holding me. Meanwhile, Ivan came closer and closer. I closed my eyes. I was so close to death. I waited for a shot, but it didn't come. No images passed my Inner Eye as everyone said. I only saw black. I felt really small. I waited. Then a shot rang out. I wondered if I was dead by now? Another shot. I was sure I was dead. I waited I heard myself breathing. And then suddenly my grip on me loosened. A third shot. And the handle was gone. I knew I was dead. It was certain. Everything was gone. I was dead. And that's why I committed sin. I wanted to see paradise, so I opened my eyes, but what I saw was anything but beautiful.

I was still standing on that stairwell. But Ivan was no longer to be seen. I took a few steps slowly. And then I stood in front of Ivan's body. I turned around suddenly. First I saw the guy who must have been holding me and then I saw Blacky. He was waiting for something. But what. I was done with my nerves. I wanted to get away from here, far away. Wanted to flee into my mother's arms. I started moving again. I ran down the stairs past Blacky. Everything felt weird. My muscles were only led by threads. I ran out of the pub, past the bodies. I didn't notice Blacky going after me. I ran past the car. I wanted to get out of here. My face was contorted in pain. I ran and ran until my legs could no longer support me. I fell and lay there. What was the matter with me? Otherwise I was so strong. Maybe I was in shock. I did not know it. I seemed to be losing consciousness. But before I slipped away I felt two arms around my body that lifted me up.

When I woke up, everything felt like a dream.I thought it hadn't happened, but when my eyes finally saw sharply, I was taught better. I sat in the car and next to me Blacky. "Did you sleep well, princess?" he still greeted me in an icy tone but something had changed. It sounded artificial, as if he had to let other feelings slip out of his voice. "Haha. You haven't finished with your life." I poisoned and sat up in the car. "Ah you're the old one again." "How long have I been gone?" I asked curiously. It felt like an eternity to me. "After I followed you and then you collapsed. I think you were passed out for half an hour." I shook my head. “Thanks, by the way.” I said now in my old tone again. "I knew that you wouldn't make it, you always came to him. Almost all the agents would probably have turned back. Ivan is a tough guy. You did the preparatory work for me." Praise and praise shout it to me in thought. I had to smile. "Thanks." I meant simply. I had to get along with a nicer Blacky first. Probably as soon as he left this car he would be the old one. Then I really savored it. “You should sleep while I'm flying, we've been on the road for almost two days now.” He said and looked at me. I looked him in the eye. But only nodded, what I saw briefly flashing in his eyes was loneliness. I would get him out of there. Stop stop. What was that, I didn't like him at all. Or is it? I couldn't get any further, because we drove into the hall and got out. Then we jogged to the plane and got on. "I wish you a good sleep." He said sarcastically, but much warmer than usual. I was just not used to that from him. I was dead tired and yet it took me a while to fall asleep. I looked at him and saw a slight smile on his lips.So I fell asleep at some point. I dreamed of my mother and how I missed her. It really hurt not being with her anymore.
When I woke up the sun was just rising. I didn't move. I lay my head on the side so I could see that he was still smiling. "Why are you smiling?" I asked, stretching. He looked at me like a child when caught doing something forbidden. "I'm not smiling." he said and grimaced. I laughed. I didn't know why, but I was fine. I was done with everything. Now I wanted to live my life and if I had to kill people to do it, then that was it. “Where are we?” “In ten minutes in America, so another quarter of an hour flight.” He said icily, but I heard a tiny smile in his voice. I grinned. Before I started meditating, not everyone had to know that I was doing better. I sighed heavily and got lost in my thoughts. When we landed I was the person who left here three days ago. The numb one. We got out and ran into the villa, straight to the boss.
As always, we waited for that to come in. “And job done?” “Yes, no survivors and Ivan is dead too.” Blacky said and stepped back a little further, to my height. Which meant something like, we made it together and are on the same level. "And who killed him?" Boss asked curiously while his gaze wandered from Blacky to me and back to Blacky. "Teamwork. She cleared the way and I killed him." "Interesting." Boss muttered to himself. "Well, you have today free. And tomorrow you will get a new job." He said and dismissed us with a wink. "what should we do?" Blacky asked me. “Training, that mustn't happen to me again.” I said and ran quickly to the training ground. We trained hard and went to our limits. We were in hand-to-hand combat when I leaned into his ear."You should go to sleep, you worked three days without a break." I whispered in his ear and did a back flip. He nodded barely noticeably and disappeared. Hey he listened to me it echoed through my head. I sighed and kept exercising. When I walked into my apartment that evening, I was exhausted. I lay down in the bathtub and stayed until I got wrinkled just to lie in bed snuggled into my pajamas. Well, who would have thought that, Blacky had actually put himself on a par with me. Hard to believe. I sighed and looked forward to the next assignment. So I fell asleep and fell into a dreamless sleep.