Chapter: The beginning - oh, and the confession

"It was pretty exhausting ...", I gasped when Lola left the ballet studio with me. "Don't complain about that little ballet!", Lola mumbled to herself. I glared at her. “You don't always have to be so jealous. Man, why am I even taking you to training? ", I sighed. Lola and I had decided last year to do ballet together. She had watched me do it for years and at some point gave me the idea of ​​convincing her parents to let them do ballet too. But none of them She had wanted to record studios because she supposedly hadn't had the right measurements. And now she was sulking. And not only that, she also always came to my training to get upset about the smallest things at the end, someone would have jumped off the wrong way or the other should have concentrated more on her steps. "I'm not jealous ..." Lola muttered and pulled her hood over her head. ,,No of course not. ", I winked at my girlfriend and had to laugh." Coleen, you have your hair down ... ". "Right.". "Doesn't happen often, otherwise you'll always have the dumplings and-". “What kind of dumplings? They are not dumplings! These are buns! And by the way, they are really easy to do and look great! ", I bleated in Lola's direction." Anyway, I'm going home now. Merry Christmas, see you next year! ", she said goodbye. Right, it was school holidays. But no, she wouldn't get away with me that easy, not today! ,, Not true, see you on New Year's Eve! ", I called after her and turned away offended. Lola raised her hand in greeting without turning around. With headphones in her ears and stressed knock-knees, she strolled to the metro. We always celebrated New Year's Eve at Lola's home, with her parents, hers shabby cousins ​​and a lot of other people, whom I hugged and greeted warmly, even if I had never seen them. That’s the way it was. "Don't always be so pushy.", Leander bleated and swung himself down from a tree. ,, I am not pushy! "." Are you well. ", Leander laughed and put on his smug grin. Yeah, right Leander. My guardian angel, who unfortunately had nothing on his chest and had robbed me of my last nerve for half a year. He once told me that every person has a guardian angel and that he is one of the best. He had lied like it was printed. He did that quite often. The worst part was that only I could see or hear him so that I was a permanent guest in a mental hospital for the last month because my father thought I had a screw loose. “Why don't you just disappear, huh? ", I replied coolly and disinterestedly. In truth I was interested in Leander. Everyone interested me in him. Somehow at least. And when he wasn't ransacking my closet again, he was actually quite bearable.That was the bad thing.
Leander seemed a little cold. It also looked pretty silly to stand around in the park in a ribbed undershirt and jeans in winter. "You are not exactly the fashionable fulfillment ...", I said and looked down at him critically. His jeans were torn in several places, and the boots - I was surprised that he could still lace them up. Then let's go shopping, I told you umpteen times that I want to go shopping, I need something long-sleeved! ", Leander hissed. “You could have thought about that a little earlier, and besides, I don't want to go to a booth with you. ", I replied and Leander raised a puzzling eyebrow." Man, since you complicated people. ". "I'm sorry, I still hope that I'm just imagining you and you will disappear at some point. ", I sighed." But how- ". “You're messing up my life. ", I interrupted him." Not much longer and I'll hit the ceiling with anger. " “There is no blanket. ", he replied cunningly and pointed to the sky. I turned around to him." You see that mine. Because of you I am constantly electrified. ". Leander suddenly pricked up his ears. ,,What? "." There is music. Nice, isn't it? ", He looked at me expectantly. "I don't hear anything." "Hand!", It came out of him commanding and so he took my hand and ran down the street with me. "Wait-". I had to concentrate on not tripping over my own feet. When Leander finally stopped, we were standing in front of a window that was only slightly open and from which you can clearly hear a very nice melody Possibly from a music box. I knew that Leander was interested in music like this. Leander wouldn't be Leander if he didn't sit at my laptop all the time and listen to all sorts of old piano and violin music up and down. "You have a sense of hearing." .. ", I laughed, but Leander left it completely cold. He rocked back and forth a little dazedly and concentrated fully on the melody. I cleared my throat. “Hey angel, I want to go home. ", I made myself noticed and waited for a reaction." Hm, what? ". “Come on, Leander. I want to go home. ", I yelped." Yes, yes! ", Leander grinned. “Just a moment. ", he added and looked briefly at the sky. It was already dark. No wonder, my training was over at a quarter past six, the sun had set. And by the way, I was freezing. I looked over at Leander, who always still listened eagerly. He was also cold. Since he was stuck close to me, as always, I could smell the shower gel smell of his skin. Leander loved to shower. And so that my parents didn't notice anything unusual, I always had to sit there. Besides, I already gave a large part My pocket money for shower gel and shampoo. In those moments I usually began to sigh loudly. Why me?I didn't believe that everyone had a guardian angel, and if they did, then they didn't know how to annoy their "owners". Still, I didn't believe it. For example, if Lola had or even had a guardian angel, she would have told me long ago. Besides, you could hardly stand alone with her for ten minutes - no, she definitely didn't have a guardian angel.
In the meantime Leander had trotted off somewhere again and I was having trouble keeping up. I also had no idea where I was actually. Paris was great. And France was much bigger. I looked at one of the street signs that pointed in several directions. Avenue Victoria. Hm. We were about to take a detour home that would take us a good half an hour longer. “Coleen, you definitely have to buy me something warmer to wear. ", Leander broke the silence, shivering." Forget it. ". "But Coleen, otherwise I can't protect you well." "Have you ever done that?". Leander gave me a venomous look and, as always, I looked into his eyes a little longer than he actually deserved. That was because he had husky eyes. And I just couldn't concentrate when those very eyes were looking at me. He totally confused me with it.
,, Tell me Coleen ... ", he broke the silence again after a while. ,, Hm?", I made and looked at him bored. "Man, can't you make a different face than this one now? ", he sighed. I tried to smile. Leander was satisfied." So ... "he began. I brushed a strand of hair back from my face. "The melody that we heard out of the window earlier ...", he continued. ".... I'll buy myself a music box as well and -". ,, That means I should buy it for you, right? "I grumbled immediately." No! Let me finish speaking! ". "Okay. So, I am listening. ", I surrendered." It's almost Christmas, and if I buy this music box, I want you to dance to the melody for me, ballet, of course. ". I looked at him angrily. “First of all, you don't choose your presents, and secondly, how do you get the idea that I am giving you something at all? Just because I turn them on incredibly when playing ballet doesn't mean that I'm making a fool of myself for you! "I bleated at him. He sighed, and then there was silence again.
We were silent until we were at my front door. I opened the door and Leander quickly slipped into my room and took his usual place on my desk. I had taught Leander something new every evening. For example, yesterday I explained to him what it meant to be gay. And the day before yesterday, hiccups were on the program. Today, I would explain to him what it meant to love. At least I had made up my mind, but I knew Leander wouldn't pack yet.Maybe I should give him singing lessons, or I should ask him much more to teach me. He sang great. I knew that because he sang over and over in the shower. I quickly hopped into my room and sat down on my bed. ,, Leander? ". ,, Hm?", He made and unabashedly took off his top. Oh, suddenly the fine gentleman was too warm or what? "Sing something.". "Why?", He was very surprised, but had his self-enamored grin on his face again. “Well, you can sing. Now do it! ". He shrugged his shoulders and began to hum L'heure avait sonn." We are still practicing singing. "I joked and plopped down tired in my bed.

,,Wake up! Right away! Coleen! Wake up ". No. What happened again? Then I finally slept like a rock - and they woke me. No - no desire. ,, Coleen, damn it! Is he gone? He's gone, isn't he? Oh An excited voice moaned. Something was tugging at my covers and I jerked my head up. I tried to see something, but it was pitch dark in my room. “Finally, you're awake. Do you see me? ". ,, Leander ...", I groaned in exasperation and wanted to turn away. ,,Do you see me?! ", he repeated." No. " “Oh no, nooo, he's gone, I knew my body is gone. Forever away! ", shouted Leander. Annoyed I moved up a bit and switched on the light of my bedside lamp. Immediately a pair of husky eyes blinked at me." Now I see you. ", I sighed. In all honesty, I wish I hadn't seen him. I wish it would just fizzle out in a cloud of smoke. ,,Thank God! "." Why do you do such a third every night? ", I swore and pulled the covers over my head. ,,Third? What's this? "." Fool! "I squeaked from under the covers and turned off the light again. Leander did that all the time. Since I had told him that he would lose his beloved body at some point, just to tease it a little, of course, he kept shaking me up at night and asking me if I could still see him. That self-loving idiot. That lovely idiot. "Man, I'm really relieved, this time I really thought he was gone ...", Leander sighed and sat down on