reverberation

The beauty of the purple sunset that heralded the beginning of the mighty, dark night barely fitted into the picture. It was so out of place that the entire sad drama I was part of was almost grotesque. The last rays of sunshine of the day should feel warm on my now ashen skin, but my senses were on strike. I didn't hear the paramedics who were struggling for my life and tried to keep me from fainting with their words, didn't feel the pain that should emanate from my numerous injuries and deep wounds, didn't taste the blood on my tongue that made me feel Tucked into the corner of his mouth and didn't smell his familiar iron smell. The only sense I had was to see. I saw. I saw how my blood formed a small stream, flowed to him and stained the soles of his shoes red. I looked up at him until I caught his eyes of different colors. They were wide open, the horror of the scene on his face was written on his face. I saw tears gather in the eye that he had received from his deceased friend to see the future for him. But his gaze didn't meet mine but stared at the other girl who was also lying on the floor, bathing in her own blood. Her one auburn hair had turned black from the blood that was stuck there and had already begun to dry. Paramedics had gathered around her too, but they had put their hands on their laps. Some shook their heads at the sight of them, others looked at Kakashi, who had started to mumble something that I couldn't hear through the vacuum that seemed to surround me. The girl's delicate features no longer moved. The purple bars she loved to paint on her cheeks were smeared. Her lungs no longer filled with air.

Suddenly I was overcome with panic fear. Afraid of looking into her eyes and realizing what I actually knew. I was shocked to find that her lifeless, dull brown gaze was targeting me. He had that all along. I immediately realized what Kakashi must have been muttering. I closed my eyes.Save them.The paramedics should do something! I knew she'd already passed, but I didn't want to see it.Save them. You should fucking do something! I wanted to scream, cry, to hit myself ... do something to give my emotions an outlet, but I was no longer in control of my body and had to deal with the disturbing, constricting feelings inside. Another death. Another loved one. Even more loneliness. More pain ... it all has to stop! Please,I pleaded in my mind,please let everything stop!I was gripped by nameless pain, excruciating panic flowed through me and I threatened to tear myself apart.Something cool settled on my forehead and began to stroke my hair. It was so comforting that I felt my body sigh. I looked up to see her milky silhouette. Your mind, your soul. I had calmed down a bit at the sight of her, even though I thought that this sight would be the most suitable for a panic attack. But my best friend radiated comfort, compassion, and love, just as she did when she was alive. She got up, walked slowly and floating towards Kakashi to kiss him. He didn't see her. Didn't see what I saw wasn't as close to death as I was.Rin! ,thought imploringlygo back into your body. Don't go away, please don't go away Don't leave us alone!As if she had heard my thoughts, she turned back to me, smiled and said clearly to me through the vacuum: "I greet the others for you." Slowly, billows of smoke broke away from her and she faded. My gaze slid to Kakashi. Just the two of us. But I knew that one of us had to go. And it certainly wouldn't be him ...

Suddenly I was back in the lecture. The monotonous sounding, bored professor said something while I tried to calm my racing heart, to get my thoughts under control again, to push back the memories that hurt so much. None of this succeeded me and the only thing I saw again was all of her death ...