True Friends V

Duo threw himself on his bed and hid his head in the pillow. he was angry; angry with Trowa, with Heero, with Wufei, with Quatre, but mostly with himself. He sighed softly. `As soon as I don't play the clown, everyone looks at me like I'm sick! he was annoyed, most of all it annoyed him that he had let himself go like that at all.
It hadn’t done him anything, except probably a lot of questions in a few hours about why he was feeling like that, and he had precious little desire to answer these questions.

`You would only think of me as a pouting toddler! 'he grumbled mentally while leaning on his elbows,' As always ... The gentlemen never get the idea that I might not be in a good mood ... '
Another sigh, he lay down again, this time on his back and stared at the ceiling.

On the first impulse he had wanted to follow Quatre into his room, but then his pride won, he wouldn’t run after him!Unfortunately, that didn't change the fact that he kept wondering what his friend was doing ... `He literally fled the kitchen ... 'Duo remembered while he played with his braid, he had to somehow keep his hands busy, 'But he showed me pretty clearly that he doesn't want any help from me! 'he thought stubbornly, but that didn't ease his worries much.

Basically, Duo knew he was doing Quatre wrong. After all, after hiding the whole thing for so long and never talking to anyone about his worries and needs, he couldn't expect the Arab to start doing it overnight.

Unfortunately, this insight didn't help his injured ego either, it still hurt that Quatre apparently didn't want to or couldn't trust him.

With a sigh he folded his arms behind the back of his head and stared at the ceiling.

"Maybe you expect too much?" asked a calm voice from the door, startled Duo and looked in the direction from which the voice was coming.His eyes widened in surprise.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to scare you," was Duo wrong or did Trowa's voice sound slightly amused? At least nothing could be read on the other's face that would have given Duo any information about it, because the European's facial expressions were as indifferent and unemotional as ever.

"Tro ... Trowa," stuttered the American, perplexed, he was simply speechless, a phenomenon that happened very rarely. Trowa just nodded, and seemed to be waiting for something, but Duo had to sort out his confused thoughts before he could turn his attention back to his friend.

'What the hell is he doing here ?! He's never been in my room, as far as I can remember, he only does the bare minimum to talk ... 'His thoughts spun in circles. It wasn't that he didn't like Trowa, he just knew the young man with the adventurous fringe, least of all. He was always silent and seemed to be above all things, so Duo had left him alone."May I come inside?" Trowa asked from the door, watching Duo attentively, the long-haired just nodded and watched as Trowa closed the door behind him and came towards him.

Thoughts raced behind his forehead as he racked his brain about what might have prompted Trowa to visit him in his room and apparently want to talk to him as well. Unfortunately he came to no result, at least nothing that pleased him.
He patted the bedspread: "Sit down", Trowa followed his request in silence. "And ... um ... so ... what drives you to me?" Duo asked hesitantly, he couldn't deny that Trowa's presence made him nervous. Even if the latter would hardly threaten him with death like a certain other person ...

"I wanted to talk to you," came the cool reply. "YOU ?! Talk to me?" the American asked in disbelief. Trowa just nodded in agreement.

After a short pause in silence, during which Duo had waited for his friend to explain what he wanted to talk to him about, he finally asked: "And what do you want to talk to me about?"" Quatre "came the short answer, the American groaned inwardly:" Great, should the whole conversation continue like this? Pulling every word out of my nose ... I am thrilled ... "

"And next?" Duo looked at Trowa questioningly, "Come on now and don't let every word pulled out of your nose! Talk to me, you already know that where you open your mouth and words come out!" he added, slightly annoyed, when the brown-haired man still made no move to continue his speech.

Amazed Trowa looked up: "I know how to talk!" "I understand too, but then do it too! I'm so bad at mind reading, you know?" Duo countered dryly, for a moment it seemed as if the European's gaze was darkening, but then he finally began to talk.
"You expect too much from Quatre. He-", "is not yet ready to trust me and talk about it", Duo completed the sentence and let himself fall over on the bed, so that he was lying on the bed with his upper body and she Could stare at the ceiling.The other looked at him in surprise: "Yes, but if you know why-" "I know myself that it wasn't a masterpiece this morning, Trowa," the American interrupted again, his voice sounding unusually serious. "But if you know that, why did you put on a show like that?" "Damn it, I'm only human! Have you ever thought that my happy side is the show ?!" suddenly Duo sat up again and glared at Trowa. "No, you are not. For you I am just the buffoon who talks too much and is inconceivably always happy. But I must not be serious, then I pull off a show, well, thank you very much!" his voice sounded bitter, it always said to itself he wouldn't mind, but it did.

"Duo ..." Trowa was at a loss, he had never seen his friend like this, and the worst part was that the American had hit the mark with his guess. He really hadn't given a thought that Duo had NOT put on a show that morning, but had given them a glimpse into the real me.`He really has to be finished, otherwise he wouldn't have let it get that far, 'Trowa summed up in his mind,` but how- `
"I just don't know what to do next", Duo interrupted his thoughts, he spoke softly, "how should I deal with him? I can't tell him that it's not that bad, I know better myself .." . "" Well ... "his brown-haired friend was silent for a moment," you know, I don't really know, but Quatre likes you and maybe he just doesn't want to talk to you about it because he doesn't want to burden you with it. " , "Great ..." the American's voice sounded sarcastic. Trowa sighed softly, it wasn't as easy as he had thought. "At some point he'll talk to you about it, but it'll take time," he explained as calmly and confidently as he could, but Duo just raised an eyebrow skeptically: "Are you serious now or are you only saying that because I told you sorry? "
"Hmm ... because I think that's the way it is", Trowa replied evasively, "I can analyze situations well, but I ... am not a good judge of people, I'm afraid".The American looked at him seriously, he would never have thought he would ever have such a conversation with Trowa, well, if he was honest, he would never have believed that he would ever admit in front of someone else that he was not always so cheerful and was cheerful as it appeared.

Trowa's thoughts went in a similar direction, he had recently declared everyone crazy, that he would voluntarily talk to the babbler, not to mention the course of this conversation.

***

Quatre stared at the ceiling above him. He would have liked to have slept a little more, but unfortunately this has become less and less common recently.

It was as if it were a higher power's punishment for scratching. There was no other way he could explain his sudden insomnia, and it had only started since he consciously injured himself, before he had never or only rarely had problems falling asleep.

The Arab pulled up the sleeve of his left arm to bring it up to his face and contemplate it.'You can't really see them from this distance,' he thought, holding his arm a bit away from him.
Sighing, he put his arm back down to turn on his side and stare at the door.

Quatre suspected that he had hurt Duo deeply with his behavior and could have slapped himself for it. After all, the American just wanted to help him and he pissed him off!

However, it was only at breakfast that he realized how badly he had hurt him. He had never seen the lively, always happy boy like this before, even the others were surprised at his behavior.

He wanted to get up and go to Duo to apologize, but he was too scared of it. 'I'm such a coward,' he rolled back on his back, 'but I'm just scared of his reaction. That he can't forgive me for lying to him, but what should I have said ?! "Hey, I'm just shaking because I just wanted to do it again but could still control myself at the last second ?!" Quatre had said the last words aloud, "And if you hadn't come, who knows, maybe I would have done it after all?"Angrily, he clenched his fists and took a deep breath, he couldn't throw something like that at Duo.

Mainly because Quatre wasn't sure what he would think of him after such a confession. He was very fond of Duo, and he would tell him more than any of the other pilots simply because he loved Duo the most, but that was both a blessing and a curse to him.

He didn't want to hurt the American, nor did he want him to think he was a weakling. But that was difficult for him to connect, weakness for him was to admit to Duo that he sometimes couldn't withstand the pressure of their missions ... But by denying this very fact and lying to him, he hurt him.

Basically, he also knew that Duo would have been the last to call him a pushover, but the fear of it was just too deep for reason to have any influence on them.

***

Heero looked up from his laptop when he heard a knock on his door."In!" the young man shouted, looking at the clock on the screen. `20 minutes ... But we still have to work on the pace! he thought angrily.

One by one, the remaining four pilots stepped into the room and looked somewhat uncomfortably at the Japanese sitting at the laptop. After all, they knew from experience that Heero hated being late and reacted