Translation
Fanfic: Als mein Herz zerbrach....
Chapter: When my heart broke ...
Preface: This is not exactly fan fic. They are Bulma's thoughts about love, loneliness, trust. Maybe there is a bit of philosophy behind it ... who knows ?! You might think they're boring, but I think they're good. Because this "fan fic" is not dependent on any person, it expresses something - a feeling ...
When my heart broke .......
When my heart broke, I felt an emptiness inside.
When my heart broke I felt like I was again.
When my heart broke, one of my best and closest friends left me: Yamcha.
He left me ...... I don't know the reason, I already know him, I just can't understand him. "I don't feel anything for you anymore, Bulma!" he had said. How so? How can you no longer feel anything for someone? After all this years. How many times have we shared our happiness? But how often is our suffering? And how often have I slept with him and also argued?It was these little things that made me happy. I felt good. I thought that this was my place with him. After all these many years and all these adventures, he no longer feels anything for me! Nothing at all ?! Not even friendship, affection ........ sympathy! Is that possible?
When my heart broke, I was numb. I didn't notice anything anymore. I was gone, just out of this world. Away from all the pain, suffering, joy. I wasn't crying for Yamcha, I was numb from the loss I had to experience. I didn't cry, I didn't laugh. My daily schedule had become pure rotation. Get up, work, fix Vegeta's training equipment and sleep again. I like it that way. Because nobody could hurt me like that. I didn't register my parents, and certainly not Vegeta. If he wanted something from me I didn't answer, I just did it. Without repeating. But I didn't give in either. Sometimes I just went. Then he held me back, but at some point he gave up.He must have noticed that it made no sense .......... not now, I wouldn't listen to him - I didn't care ..... It doesn't matter whether I'm dead or alive, happy or sad , lonely or in company. One evening I ran into him in the hallway. " What about you?" he had asked. I looked at him. What did he want from me? He should leave me alone, whatever else ........ always ..... Since when "always"? Since when has it been normal for me to be alone and far away from everyone else? Since when did everyone leave me alone? Or did I just ignore them? " How do you mean?" I asked him. Why did I ask him that? I didn't know the answer. Yes i knew it. I was alone because I wanted to. I hadn't even quarreled with Vegeta, I hadn't met any of my other friends, hadn't talked to my parents. They lived in the same house as me. "You're pretty calm and you never say anything when I tell you something!And to be completely honest ....... "he looked down" .... I don't like that. Is it because of this Yamcha? "I felt the pain rush through my body. I had closed my eyes. And for the first time since Yamcha left me, I cried. I cried from the bottom of my heart. I fell to the ground. Only now did I notice how deep it was." met what it meant to be consciously aware. "Forget him! Vegeta said and went into his room. I was still crouching in the hallway. I cried until late at night. But the next morning I felt better. I knew that I would survive it. I had still friends, parents, a houseguest. It was thanks to him that I understood what was really important now. He was the first of all the people who dealt with me on a daily basis to ask me what about me. He did helped me.
When my heart broke I lost track of time and space, and yet I found a new friend.
When my heart broke I found a new love. And even if he often argues with me, I am happy about every argument, because that's his way of dealing with someone, paying attention to them. And often he takes me in his arms and finally says "Forget it! It's not worth it!" these words give me courage, make me happy. He knows what he is talking about, because he has already lost so much - or never owned it? Once Vegeta said to me, "I can't see if someone is suffering!" I couldn't handle it. He had killed so many living things, they all suffered. But then I realized what he meant. He couldn't see when someone was suffering inside, when he was dying inside ..... Where was the difference, I wondered. Well, if one dies with the spirit one is truly dead. If only the spirit dies, however, it is simply miserable, then one has no more pride. Lets others travel with him without knowing why and without doing anything about it.
But now he has left me too. He's gone and my heart is broken again. I feel this emptiness again. But this time I will not strive spiritually, he would never forgive me. This time I'll be strong .......
When my heart broke .......
When my heart broke, I felt an emptiness inside.
When my heart broke I felt like I was again.
When my heart broke, one of my best and closest friends left me: Yamcha.
He left me ...... I don't know the reason, I already know him, I just can't understand him. "I don't feel anything for you anymore, Bulma!" he had said. How so? How can you no longer feel anything for someone? After all this years. How many times have we shared our happiness? But how often is our suffering? And how often have I slept with him and also argued?It was these little things that made me happy. I felt good. I thought that this was my place with him. After all these many years and all these adventures, he no longer feels anything for me! Nothing at all ?! Not even friendship, affection ........ sympathy! Is that possible?
When my heart broke, I was numb. I didn't notice anything anymore. I was gone, just out of this world. Away from all the pain, suffering, joy. I wasn't crying for Yamcha, I was numb from the loss I had to experience. I didn't cry, I didn't laugh. My daily schedule had become pure rotation. Get up, work, fix Vegeta's training equipment and sleep again. I like it that way. Because nobody could hurt me like that. I didn't register my parents, and certainly not Vegeta. If he wanted something from me I didn't answer, I just did it. Without repeating. But I didn't give in either. Sometimes I just went. Then he held me back, but at some point he gave up.He must have noticed that it made no sense .......... not now, I wouldn't listen to him - I didn't care ..... It doesn't matter whether I'm dead or alive, happy or sad , lonely or in company. One evening I ran into him in the hallway. " What about you?" he had asked. I looked at him. What did he want from me? He should leave me alone, whatever else ........ always ..... Since when "always"? Since when has it been normal for me to be alone and far away from everyone else? Since when did everyone leave me alone? Or did I just ignore them? " How do you mean?" I asked him. Why did I ask him that? I didn't know the answer. Yes i knew it. I was alone because I wanted to. I hadn't even quarreled with Vegeta, I hadn't met any of my other friends, hadn't talked to my parents. They lived in the same house as me. "You're pretty calm and you never say anything when I tell you something!And to be completely honest ....... "he looked down" .... I don't like that. Is it because of this Yamcha? "I felt the pain rush through my body. I had closed my eyes. And for the first time since Yamcha left me, I cried. I cried from the bottom of my heart. I fell to the ground. Only now did I notice how deep it was." met what it meant to be consciously aware. "Forget him! Vegeta said and went into his room. I was still crouching in the hallway. I cried until late at night. But the next morning I felt better. I knew that I would survive it. I had still friends, parents, a houseguest. It was thanks to him that I understood what was really important now. He was the first of all the people who dealt with me on a daily basis to ask me what about me. He did helped me.
When my heart broke I lost track of time and space, and yet I found a new friend.
When my heart broke I found a new love. And even if he often argues with me, I am happy about every argument, because that's his way of dealing with someone, paying attention to them. And often he takes me in his arms and finally says "Forget it! It's not worth it!" these words give me courage, make me happy. He knows what he is talking about, because he has already lost so much - or never owned it? Once Vegeta said to me, "I can't see if someone is suffering!" I couldn't handle it. He had killed so many living things, they all suffered. But then I realized what he meant. He couldn't see when someone was suffering inside, when he was dying inside ..... Where was the difference, I wondered. Well, if one dies with the spirit one is truly dead. If only the spirit dies, however, it is simply miserable, then one has no more pride. Lets others travel with him without knowing why and without doing anything about it.
But now he has left me too. He's gone and my heart is broken again. I feel this emptiness again. But this time I will not strive spiritually, he would never forgive me. This time I'll be strong .......