Translation
Fanfic: ALTER RAMSCH und BLÖDER WOHNEN
Chapter: OLD RAMSCH and BLÖDER WOHNEN
FOREWORD
This story is NOT mine. All rights belong to the author!
I only found it so incredibly funny that I rewritten it and turned it into a story
I created characters with DB. Vegeta he talks about his experiences in the flat share that he shares
Bulma and Son-Goku inhabited ...
______________________________________
OLD RAMSCH and BLÖDER WOHNEN
Klohmarft
Summertime is flea market time! Son-Goku got a really great picture book from Walter Moers called "The Fönig". The Fönig rules over a country in which all "K" are replaced by "F" and all "F" are replaced by "K". And then the Fönig in his book goes to a Klohmarft and faukt an old flea glasses, a faputte Fucfucsuhr and a Frug with Apkelsakt.
Son-Goku, Bulma and I (Veggi) had a lot of fun with the book, but then it was finished and just lay in the kitchen-cum-living room. Bulma used it as a trivet. That didn't make the book any nicer either.What do you do with a read out book with tomato sauce dripping from it? "On the Klohmarft! On the Klohmarft!", Called Bulma and then we all looked for our old stuff to sell it on the Klohmarft: my old radio plays ("Puschel, the squirrel with the red tail" part one to a thousand) , Bulma's stupid collection with Ü-egg figures (Schorschi, the chimney sweep), stuffed animals without eyes, self-made bookends made of dried bean soup, CDs with scratches ... you can get rid of all that at Klohmärften. Juhu !!! Finally space again! I immediately took the opportunity to steal the stupid game "The Settlers of Catan" from Goku's room. I've always wanted to sell that off anyway. "Settlers of Catan" is the last snot! Full porn! Bulma and Goku keep forcing me to play it. Why does all of Japan have to sit around a kitchen table and pound over wool, clay and wood? In the past you were allowed to "buy the waterworks" or "conquer 24 countries of your choice" at least once in a while."Monopoly" and "Risk" are much cooler than the stupid "Settlers" with their hexagonal cards! Away with it! To the Klohmarft!
bargain
We had a very nice stand on the Klohmarft: We took an old wallpaper table, filled it with junk and watched it collapse under the weight. Then we picked everything off the floor and blamed each other. So the Klohmarft day started really well. We took turns selling, so that someone could always stroll through the Klohmarft - "take a look".
Bulma "looked" first and when she came back she had bought a hand truck full of old crap! "Look!", She shouted, "a stuffed raven with the filling coming out of his stomach and 3000 gimmicks from old Yps booklets!"
I don't know if you know "Ybs booklets". There was always a stupid "gimmick" that broke or didn't work immediately after unpacking or was somehow stupid.Unforgettable, for example, "The Tadpole Shrimp". It was a powder that had to be thrown into salt water. Then there were nasty little things that could only be seen with a magnifying glass and that died two days later and stank.
Bulma's "bargain" also included the gimmick "The Funny Spritz Wristwatch". You could fill it with water and then the broth would drip off your arm and if you pressed it to spray someone wet, it was empty and the plastic tape broke. Who needs that?!?
Then Son-Goku went "take a look" and I secretly sold his stupid "Settlers of Catan" game for two euros. When Son-Goku came back from "looking", he had invested all of our earnings in currywurst and french fries and ate everything himself. Bulma hit him with the "funny wristwatch". Then I was allowed to "look". I had just been "looking" ten meters when I discovered our neighbor, Ms. Iris Zöller-Kaufhold. She had a stall full of useless junk and was selling all of her wedding gifts.
Hannibal
To my horror, among them was the original present from the flat share: our Hannibal! Our neighbor wanted to sell the snappy flat share rabbit at Klohmarft for 30 euros! 30 euros is a lot of money for a rabbit that stinks and bites your finger as soon as you open the cage. I got Goku straight away. We remembered that you can trade at Klohmärften and acted very professionally with Ms. Zöller-Kaufhold. We were professionals! Bad business people! After three hours of trading, we had lowered the price for Hannibal to a whopping 29 euros. Excellent! When we got back to the booth with Hannibal, Bulma had painted a sign that said "I'm going to the bathroom for a minute" and all our things had been stolen.
Labels
We were in a bad mood at home. Hannibal had bitten Bulma three times and the only thing we had brought back from Klohmarft was a multigrain bread. We actually wanted to eat that, but there was a fist-sized paper label stuck on it that said "strong, grainy, very healthy".Who needs that?!?
We tried the label remover, but the sticker did not come off. The bread then unfortunately didn't taste "strong, grainy, very healthy", but rather like paper and label remover. There are kiwis with the sticker "Kiwi" on them. Or avocados with the label "Avocado". Do the sellers think that if they don't write "avocado" on it, are we confusing avocados with multigrain bread that is "strong, grainy, very healthy"?
Help! Bulma discovered that she still had a Yps gimmick in her pocket. It was the "great tube with the invisible magic ink". The "great tube" had leaked and the "invisible magic ink" had made a huge bruise in her pants.
Son-Goku suggested a game of "Settlers of Catan" to cheer him up. While he was looking in vain for the game, I quickly locked myself in the toilet.
When I stepped out again, Goku was gone. And most of the things from my room too. Bulma said he had sold everything at Klohmarft.The world is bad. If I had control, everything would be much better. Why am I actually not a Fönig?
Cleaning madness
Last week Son-Goku was cleaning the flat. When Goku is on cleaning duty, he waits until the week is over and then grumbles: "It's not my turn anymore."
But this time everything was different: Jochen took the mop and cleaned! Just because! He even whistled! Bulma and I immediately called NASA to tell her that Goku's brain had been taken over by aliens. But they didn't believe us. We wanted to consult a psychologist, but we didn't know anyone. Then we got Ms. Iris Zöller-Kaufhold.
Ms. Iris Zöller-Kaufhold is our neighbor. It comes from the Hessian and has "healthy human understanding". She watched Son-Goku move furniture around and said: "Well, there are only two possibilities: Either he belongs in the rubber cell or he does" Feng Shui "!"So far I thought" Feng Shui "was a kind of Asian martial arts. Something like" Tai Chi "or" Qi Gong "or" Plem Plem "or whatever they are called. You should preferably stand in a public park and move around for hours slowly his limbs.
Small children then always ask: "What is the man doing? Does he ouch?" But Goku moved much faster. He pushed our furniture through the apartment, cleaned as if he came from the TV commercial and made us so nervous that we'd rather run away in secret. When we came back, the flat share was so clean that we could reflect in the woodchip wallpaper. All the rooms had been redistributed and there was a note on the kitchen shelf: "I'm shopping - Goku."
Pointing toe
When Goku came back, he had a bag full of "wind chimes" under his arm and an indoor fountain. We got scared! Especially when he started yelling like a fool because someone with dirty feet had left an imprint on the clean bathroom tiles.Bulma and I immediately claimed it wasn't us, but Goku forced us to show him our bare feet so he could compare the print. "It was you!" He snapped at me. "I recognize your print by the extended" pointing toe "!" Goku has always been a good detective. It is not for nothing that he is a member of the best detective club in the world: "The three >>>" ("The three is-bigger-than-signs")!
My "index toe" is actually a bit "elongated". There are only a few people with whom this is the case. We hereby encourage readers to look at their feet and determine whether their "index toe" is longer than their "big toe." "There are two theses as to what this can mean:
1. Those who have too long a "pointing toe" are particularly intelligent.
2. If you have too long a "index toe", your feet are ugly.
I prefer the first thesis! In any case, I then told Goku not to get upset artificially. What should I have done to protect his clean tiles?Shower with socks?
Fashion discussion
Son Goku has black socks with comic patterns. Take Snoopy, for example. I put up for discussion here whether such socks are more erotic than white ones that turn black around the bottom!
In addition, please tell me about the secret of "running stitches" in women's nylon stockings! How do you get "ladders" please? Goku and I have always wanted to know how the holes get in our socks. Is that a, too big "index toe"?
Even more interesting: How do holes in jeans actually come about? There are never holes in trousers! You can make an educational contribution in the "Sendung mit der Maus" about it. They show how the holes get in the cheese. But nobody knows anything about holes in jeans! First you get it on your left knee, then on your right. Bulma always says: "Cut them off, then you have cool shorts!" Because of "cool"! I have about 3,000 cut off jeans at home and I never wear one.Because they never fray. Cut-off jeans that don't fray look goofy! And speaking of fashion questions: Son-Goku still has his underpants brought "by Mutti" - "in an inexpensive pack of three". Allegedly this is the case with almost all men. Is that correct? I buy my underpants myself! Namely
This story is NOT mine. All rights belong to the author!
I only found it so incredibly funny that I rewritten it and turned it into a story
I created characters with DB. Vegeta he talks about his experiences in the flat share that he shares
Bulma and Son-Goku inhabited ...
______________________________________
OLD RAMSCH and BLÖDER WOHNEN
Klohmarft
Summertime is flea market time! Son-Goku got a really great picture book from Walter Moers called "The Fönig". The Fönig rules over a country in which all "K" are replaced by "F" and all "F" are replaced by "K". And then the Fönig in his book goes to a Klohmarft and faukt an old flea glasses, a faputte Fucfucsuhr and a Frug with Apkelsakt.
Son-Goku, Bulma and I (Veggi) had a lot of fun with the book, but then it was finished and just lay in the kitchen-cum-living room. Bulma used it as a trivet. That didn't make the book any nicer either.What do you do with a read out book with tomato sauce dripping from it? "On the Klohmarft! On the Klohmarft!", Called Bulma and then we all looked for our old stuff to sell it on the Klohmarft: my old radio plays ("Puschel, the squirrel with the red tail" part one to a thousand) , Bulma's stupid collection with Ü-egg figures (Schorschi, the chimney sweep), stuffed animals without eyes, self-made bookends made of dried bean soup, CDs with scratches ... you can get rid of all that at Klohmärften. Juhu !!! Finally space again! I immediately took the opportunity to steal the stupid game "The Settlers of Catan" from Goku's room. I've always wanted to sell that off anyway. "Settlers of Catan" is the last snot! Full porn! Bulma and Goku keep forcing me to play it. Why does all of Japan have to sit around a kitchen table and pound over wool, clay and wood? In the past you were allowed to "buy the waterworks" or "conquer 24 countries of your choice" at least once in a while."Monopoly" and "Risk" are much cooler than the stupid "Settlers" with their hexagonal cards! Away with it! To the Klohmarft!
bargain
We had a very nice stand on the Klohmarft: We took an old wallpaper table, filled it with junk and watched it collapse under the weight. Then we picked everything off the floor and blamed each other. So the Klohmarft day started really well. We took turns selling, so that someone could always stroll through the Klohmarft - "take a look".
Bulma "looked" first and when she came back she had bought a hand truck full of old crap! "Look!", She shouted, "a stuffed raven with the filling coming out of his stomach and 3000 gimmicks from old Yps booklets!"
I don't know if you know "Ybs booklets". There was always a stupid "gimmick" that broke or didn't work immediately after unpacking or was somehow stupid.Unforgettable, for example, "The Tadpole Shrimp". It was a powder that had to be thrown into salt water. Then there were nasty little things that could only be seen with a magnifying glass and that died two days later and stank.
Bulma's "bargain" also included the gimmick "The Funny Spritz Wristwatch". You could fill it with water and then the broth would drip off your arm and if you pressed it to spray someone wet, it was empty and the plastic tape broke. Who needs that?!?
Then Son-Goku went "take a look" and I secretly sold his stupid "Settlers of Catan" game for two euros. When Son-Goku came back from "looking", he had invested all of our earnings in currywurst and french fries and ate everything himself. Bulma hit him with the "funny wristwatch". Then I was allowed to "look". I had just been "looking" ten meters when I discovered our neighbor, Ms. Iris Zöller-Kaufhold. She had a stall full of useless junk and was selling all of her wedding gifts.
Hannibal
To my horror, among them was the original present from the flat share: our Hannibal! Our neighbor wanted to sell the snappy flat share rabbit at Klohmarft for 30 euros! 30 euros is a lot of money for a rabbit that stinks and bites your finger as soon as you open the cage. I got Goku straight away. We remembered that you can trade at Klohmärften and acted very professionally with Ms. Zöller-Kaufhold. We were professionals! Bad business people! After three hours of trading, we had lowered the price for Hannibal to a whopping 29 euros. Excellent! When we got back to the booth with Hannibal, Bulma had painted a sign that said "I'm going to the bathroom for a minute" and all our things had been stolen.
Labels
We were in a bad mood at home. Hannibal had bitten Bulma three times and the only thing we had brought back from Klohmarft was a multigrain bread. We actually wanted to eat that, but there was a fist-sized paper label stuck on it that said "strong, grainy, very healthy".Who needs that?!?
We tried the label remover, but the sticker did not come off. The bread then unfortunately didn't taste "strong, grainy, very healthy", but rather like paper and label remover. There are kiwis with the sticker "Kiwi" on them. Or avocados with the label "Avocado". Do the sellers think that if they don't write "avocado" on it, are we confusing avocados with multigrain bread that is "strong, grainy, very healthy"?
Help! Bulma discovered that she still had a Yps gimmick in her pocket. It was the "great tube with the invisible magic ink". The "great tube" had leaked and the "invisible magic ink" had made a huge bruise in her pants.
Son-Goku suggested a game of "Settlers of Catan" to cheer him up. While he was looking in vain for the game, I quickly locked myself in the toilet.
When I stepped out again, Goku was gone. And most of the things from my room too. Bulma said he had sold everything at Klohmarft.The world is bad. If I had control, everything would be much better. Why am I actually not a Fönig?
Cleaning madness
Last week Son-Goku was cleaning the flat. When Goku is on cleaning duty, he waits until the week is over and then grumbles: "It's not my turn anymore."
But this time everything was different: Jochen took the mop and cleaned! Just because! He even whistled! Bulma and I immediately called NASA to tell her that Goku's brain had been taken over by aliens. But they didn't believe us. We wanted to consult a psychologist, but we didn't know anyone. Then we got Ms. Iris Zöller-Kaufhold.
Ms. Iris Zöller-Kaufhold is our neighbor. It comes from the Hessian and has "healthy human understanding". She watched Son-Goku move furniture around and said: "Well, there are only two possibilities: Either he belongs in the rubber cell or he does" Feng Shui "!"So far I thought" Feng Shui "was a kind of Asian martial arts. Something like" Tai Chi "or" Qi Gong "or" Plem Plem "or whatever they are called. You should preferably stand in a public park and move around for hours slowly his limbs.
Small children then always ask: "What is the man doing? Does he ouch?" But Goku moved much faster. He pushed our furniture through the apartment, cleaned as if he came from the TV commercial and made us so nervous that we'd rather run away in secret. When we came back, the flat share was so clean that we could reflect in the woodchip wallpaper. All the rooms had been redistributed and there was a note on the kitchen shelf: "I'm shopping - Goku."
Pointing toe
When Goku came back, he had a bag full of "wind chimes" under his arm and an indoor fountain. We got scared! Especially when he started yelling like a fool because someone with dirty feet had left an imprint on the clean bathroom tiles.Bulma and I immediately claimed it wasn't us, but Goku forced us to show him our bare feet so he could compare the print. "It was you!" He snapped at me. "I recognize your print by the extended" pointing toe "!" Goku has always been a good detective. It is not for nothing that he is a member of the best detective club in the world: "The three >>>" ("The three is-bigger-than-signs")!
My "index toe" is actually a bit "elongated". There are only a few people with whom this is the case. We hereby encourage readers to look at their feet and determine whether their "index toe" is longer than their "big toe." "There are two theses as to what this can mean:
1. Those who have too long a "pointing toe" are particularly intelligent.
2. If you have too long a "index toe", your feet are ugly.
I prefer the first thesis! In any case, I then told Goku not to get upset artificially. What should I have done to protect his clean tiles?Shower with socks?
Fashion discussion
Son Goku has black socks with comic patterns. Take Snoopy, for example. I put up for discussion here whether such socks are more erotic than white ones that turn black around the bottom!
In addition, please tell me about the secret of "running stitches" in women's nylon stockings! How do you get "ladders" please? Goku and I have always wanted to know how the holes get in our socks. Is that a, too big "index toe"?
Even more interesting: How do holes in jeans actually come about? There are never holes in trousers! You can make an educational contribution in the "Sendung mit der Maus" about it. They show how the holes get in the cheese. But nobody knows anything about holes in jeans! First you get it on your left knee, then on your right. Bulma always says: "Cut them off, then you have cool shorts!" Because of "cool"! I have about 3,000 cut off jeans at home and I never wear one.Because they never fray. Cut-off jeans that don't fray look goofy! And speaking of fashion questions: Son-Goku still has his underpants brought "by Mutti" - "in an inexpensive pack of three". Allegedly this is the case with almost all men. Is that correct? I buy my underpants myself! Namely