Shared pain


I see you, you are in pain, I want to run towards you, treat your wound and stroke you and say everything will be fine. But I can't, I know you'd turn away, laughing at me and hurting me. That's why I cling to my chair and say to myself: "You are not allowed to go to him, you are not allowed to go to him" I swallow my grief and pretend nothing is going on. My girlfriend notices something and speaks to me. But I tell her I'm just sick. She notices that it is not true but leaves me alone. Yes, she knows my pain well and knows that I flinch when I see you. She notices how I'm suffering but she can't help me either, she knows that as well as I do. Sometimes I think she suffers with me If I were like her, would you take me in your arms? Probably yes, but I am me and not her. My God I'm going crazy why I just can't forget you I want it so badly.Because if not, I suffer more and more and don't just hurt myself.