* Bow *

Akonnichi wato all of you ^ - ^

Since nobody knows me here, I will first briefly introduce myself:

My name is Yasukii, I'm brand new here at animemanga. de and a very big Inuyasha fan. I don't particularly like the German dubbing and am waiting to finally get my hands on the originals of the movies. So, that about me ^^

What you're (hopefully) about to read here is mine

first halfway decent fanfiction, and of course I'm happy about every pick ^^ The title is by the way

"Yukai no chi", the subtitle "Ningen no kanji"

That means something like "the blood of a demon / demon blood" and "human feelings / the feelings of a person". I also gave the first chapter this title, it is not much more than

are "quotations" taken from it. I copied the characters from Babelfish into the title ^. ^

But now enough of the preface, I hope you enjoy reading!* ~ Yasu

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Plisch ... Plisch ... Plisch ... Like the steady drop of water, the darkness bored into him ... and with it also the loneliness.

With every second that he sat motionless between the roots, the silence became more oppressive, almost eerie. Not even the breathing of the others could be heard. He just sat there and listened, but no sound broke the silence.

A pleasantly cool breeze touched his face and blew the hair off his forehead. He closed his eyes and lifted his head a little to take a deep breath of the night air. He thought ... Today he had argued with her again ... it had been like every time, just over a little something.

He no longer knew the reason. She described him as "selfish", as "ruthless" and "stubborn". And then she had slipped out what was causing him so much headache and not allowing him to sleep. "Callous".She had thrown that at him, probably not even thinking about the meaning of the word that was bothering him. At first he'd just been offended and indignant about it, and he'd thought that she was just trying to make him angry. Until it finally occurred to him that maybe that was exactly what she thought of him. But why did she think of him like that? Did she really believe that? The thought scared him, and if he thought about it, no one had had a kind word for him lately, not even Miroku.

Rather, they let out their pent-up anger on him without thinking that it might hurt him. In fact, he was always treated more like a doormat than someone who didn't care what was done to him or what happened to him. And maybe it wasn't even a passing phase that everyone seemed to be going through. Perhaps all of their concern for him and his unhappy relationship with Kikyo was only pretended from the start as a facade for the contempt they actually felt for him.Did you really think he had no feelings? Did they really take him for someone who could feel no pain and see beyond anything just because that was expected of him? But then they were wrong, he had feelings, he knew what it was like to be hurt, knew the feeling of being superfluous. Because that's exactly what he felt at that moment.

And he knew he couldn't talk to anyone about it.

He knew it would be nonsense to even try, because he couldn't have even come close to describing, much less expressing, what he was feeling. Mirokus Kazaana might have been a good comparison. Just as it sucked in everything around it, these feelings engulfed every reasonable, hopeful thought before it could even finish it.

And again and again the question about which he seemed to be spinning in a circle - what was he actually feeling ...? Was it self-pity? Or was he just depressed? The darkness made things worse.No matter where he looked, the same blackness with its infinite depth that would drive him crazy.

He wanted so badly, to be accepted, to be understood. To be a half-demon was unjust .... one was neither human nor demon, and didn't belong anywhere, stood between the fronts. What could be better than taking all the trouble out on people like that? Why did this always have to happen to him?

It just wasn't fair ... He felt helpless, weak, and kind of fragile. But these feelings did not fit into the image of a human being a half-demon, these feelings were clearly human. And demons weren't human.

Did you think only humans knew such feelings? Would you understand him if he were human? Would he then be accepted? Would ... would he then ... be loved? He felt his throat tighten. Love, what nonsense. A feeling, nothing more, it came and it went. The only thing that love did was a passing feeling of happiness, and then only pain, infinite pain ...Was there "love" at all for someone like him? For humans, maybe, but was he even able to love someone? He didn't know if the feelings he once had for Kikyo were love. He didn't know if her feelings for him had been love. He missed her, but he was, as it were, afraid of her. She was dead ... irrevocably dead, and if she was alive it was only in a way that somehow repelled and disgusted him. But every time he'd faced her, the feelings - which might be love - were stronger than the reason that told him, don't go. She is dead. She will only hurt you. Do not go. You will never be able to be with her again. Do not go.

Maybe she only hurt him because she wanted to destroy him. Because back then she might only have liked him because he wanted to become human so that he could be with her. Because maybe she would only have liked him as a person. Why couldn't he have been with her as a half-demon?Perhaps she just wanted to make him a person so that he would no longer pose a threat? Maybe these supposed feelings were just pretend? But then again, she was a miko, and she would never have been allowed to live with a half-demon. And that meant that half-demons were not tolerated. Should he be better human now ...? So that they finally understand him?

So that they would accept him? But as a person ... as a person he would not be the same anymore, then he would be someone else ... a person. Or would they treat him even more condescendingly because then he would be just like them, weak, helpless? Because then he was no longer above them? But ..... was he even above them? Didn't they already see him as inferior? But why..? Was he really that uncomfortable, so repulsive? What had he done to deserve such treatment?

-

He felt weak, looked for support, but there was no one with whom he could have found support.The despair spread more and more inside him, like a threatening, dark shadow that left no room for other feelings. For the moment he was safe from her looks, who looked at him with contempt, fear and pity, as if he were a disgusting insect that no one dared to touch for fear it would bite, whose life was of no value. In which it was almost a meritorious deed to get out of this world. Was that what they really thought of him?

That couldn't be ... he put his elbows on the ground and buried his face in his hands. He couldn't bear to be treated like an object anymore ...

Or maybe they were so condescending to him for treating them the same way? But then he wouldn't be better than her ... was he better? For the first time he became aware of how he must affect others. He killed people without wanting to, innocents. Just like that, with no control over yourself.But he couldn't do anything against the demon in himself, he just couldn't. Sure, the others knew ... but ... could they understand it too? Did you understand? They didn't understand him at all, and maybe they didn't want to understand him at all.

Perhaps they thought he didn't mind waking up from a kind of trance surrounded by a sea of ​​blood only to find that he himself had done this massacre? That he didn't care to be held responsible for something he couldn't actually do? But he could do something about it, because he was Hanyou ... but as a person this problem wouldn't be there anymore .... Maybe he should forget about them and what had been between them and start a new life somewhere. But he didn't think he'd be able to bury his past anywhere. What should he do? Run away like a dog that drew its tail?

-

He clenched his fists so hard that his claws dug deep into his flesh.Only when he clearly felt the pain and saw a trickle of warm blood trickle down his wrist did he stop and look at his blood-smeared fingertips. That was his blood ... For a brief moment he felt a tremendous sense of satisfaction. That was one thing he could determine by himself ... His heart was beating faster. He looked thoughtfully at how the blood slowly oozed over his hand ... it glittered so beautifully in the pale moonlight that fell in a few narrow strips on the forest floor ... so beautiful .... Suddenly he felt sick. Suddenly he couldn't see his blood anymore. He pressed his wounded hand to the dry leaves on the ground as hard as he could to stop the bleeding. The hair on the back of his neck stood on end.

'I'm ... disgusting ...' He was shocked at the thoughts he'd been thinking ... it was something like ... thirst for blood ...

After a while he released his hand from the floor and looked at her.The blood had dried and formed dark red crusts over the small but deep wounds he had made. That strange feeling that had come over him at the sight of the blood reminded him of something ... for a tiny moment the blood-thirsty demon had appeared in him. He hated himself for it. Finally he looked away and stared at the night sky. He was so absorbed in the sight that at first he completely ignored the rustling that was moving towards him.

Suddenly he felt something on his shoulder and, scared to death, reached for it as if in a reflex. He caught a person's wrist, straightened up, and dragged them into the light.

It was ... "Kagome!" he gasped as he took a step back and let go of her. Kagome, no less shocked, opened his mouth to say something, but then thought better of it. There was a minute of silence before she opened her mouth