I had a strange dream. In it I saw myself writing a letter that read:

"Yami, you are my love. I just don't want it to be true. Because I don't want to hope for happiness and believe in dreams anymore. Why did you find me in my weakest hour? Why did I have to meet you in my life? You asked me if I believe in fate and I didn't want to say it because I can't even be honest with myself, I just can't look you in the eye and tell any lies.

You once told me that I can't find my happiness if I don't listen to my feelings. You know yourself how right you are. I am afraid of my feelings. Afraid they might hurt me. I am too weak for this world and try to show exactly the opposite to the outside world. But you saw through my weakness and since then I have not been able to face you anymore.You know me way too well, but I need this space between people to protect myself. That's why I can't stand closeness and understanding. You just make me feel insecure.

Maybe in this way I will never get what I really want in my life. But I just can't find the strength to change my behavior. I am too sensitive to what others think of me. That's why the slightest criticism can sometimes make me so damned. I don't want to admit it, but maybe I signed my misfortune with my own hand.

Yami i love you

Mariko "

When I woke up, I was amazed at this dream, which felt very realistic. I could even remember my handwriting and the pen I had used while writing. But I was pretty sure that in reality I would never ever get something like that over paper or over my lips.

Was that my real personality, much more real and honest than in my "normal" life?