I woke up at dawn. (Where have you been anyway?) The most terrifying sight of my life. This 30-year-old guy was lying next to me snoring and I was completely undressed. The apartment looked like it was after a bomb hit.

Head dizzy, I hurriedly dressed, took all my things and reluctantly escaped from this nightmare.

My parents were back at work. You probably thought I was with my friends. (But they really care about you ...)

I showered and washed myself embarrassingly, put on fresh clothes, lay down on my bed and let my tears run free.

The best came later. I didn't get my period after several weeks and had a slight suspicion. The gynecologist "congratulated" me on my pregnancy.

The abortion was extremely painful. I was alone and nobody knew anything about it. (Would be kind of embarrassing too ...) I lost a lot of blood.Then I was totally weak and stayed in bed for about a week. (What excuse did you use this time?)

The next semester was just around the corner. I decided not to treat myself like dirt anymore. It just hurt too much and I couldn't take it again.

"The bitch decides to develop into an honorable personality (who she once was ?!)," I summed up.

When I drove back to my university, the first thing I did was to tidy my horrible room until it looked almost normal. (There must have been a lot of work behind it ...)

In addition to the compulsory courses, I also registered for a sports course. I also paid more attention to my diet and stopped shoveling loads of sweets into myself.

At university, I tried to get in touch with others. After a while, I actually found some nice, entertaining people.I avoided being alone as often as possible.

My exam grades were also better because I often studied together with the others.

Before the holidays came, I was able to look at myself in the mirror again without being horrified. I regained my confidence.

When I drove back home, I made a vow never to let me down again, no matter what.

My parents seemed to notice my change and said:

"You have grown up, Mariko."

On the way home from shopping, I saw Yami. (Forgot again, you're back in town ...) From behind and with a girl.

But I didn't care.

I even got a call from Yami one evening.

"I heard you're back ... Maybe we could meet like old friends ..."

I didn't mind. I don't know what he was trying to do with it.

We met in a cafe. Yami spoke of his studies. As expected, he seemed to be getting along very well with it.I didn't tell much. Not much good, but not much bad either.

Then we had nothing more to say to each other.

Actually I could ask him if he had a new girlfriend now. But in the end that was none of my business.

We said goodbye and I had no intention of seeing him again.

It was autumn again ...

I sat on this bench and remembered that time. Oh, this pond that once made me think of his eyes. Now he just seemed motionless and stale to me. A perfectly normal pond.

I smiled. I have never really understood what time made of people and their feelings.