Another day that has passed. I see that you have come back. So that's what you want

Want to know more about the pilgrimage? Well then, make yourself comfortable and listen to the memories.

Still shocked by Seymour's proposal, we stood in the room. I didn't know what to say, and that's how Auron first responded for me. He was obviously very angry and harshly snapped at Seymour.

The young maester took it surprisingly calmly, even if it was obvious that the two didn't like each other at all. When I said goodbye, Seymour told me to think carefully about my decision, because he wanted to give me this time. However, he made it clear, albeit hidden behind fine words, that he would not allow himself to be put off indefinitely and, if possible, expected a positive answer.

But for today I was too confused to have a really clear thought, so I said goodbye with the respect due a maester and left the room.There must have been an incident between the Guado and Auron, but because of my tense nerves no one told me about it.

It was actually too much for me when suddenly everyone outside started discussing this topic.

Seymour was not entirely wrong. It would certainly bring joy to the people of Spira, and even give them some hope. But if that also means I have to go on my pilgrimage, mine

Give up duty? I knew if I did I could never do it.

Somebody brought the word love into play. Love.

What did I know about it at the age of 17. I loved, yes ..... I loved my friends, I had loved my father, I loved this world and its people despite the constant threat from SIN. Love. I loved all of these so much that I was ready to give my life for them, to attain the High Incantation and to bring another time of silence to this world with all its small and large miracles.Love. There are so many different forms of love. Did I love Seymour ??? He certainly had impressed me, and in a way I adored and liked him ... but love ???

I didn't know ..... not really ..... and even if it did, what did it matter.

This marriage would or would not be more or less a union of convenience, made for the beings of this world. For your joy, your hope. That could be love too, couldn't it?

I suddenly realized how to gain clarity.

The Farplane, the place where memories of the dead gathered. Yes, I would go to this place. There I was able to consult my father's memory.

What harm could it do? I was sure it would bring me more clarity.

I got up and told my guardians, my friends, of my decision.

I would go to the Jiiye, on the Farplane ..... here in Guadosalam.

They all fell silent at first at the thought, only Auron nodded to me.Quiet, taciturn friend of my father. He understood. He knew I needed this to be clear about myself. His nod, the penetrating, clear look he loved to hide, soothed and strengthened me.

Jiiye, Farplane, place of memory, lair of the past. Yes, I would be able to make up my mind there. But first we had to rest.

The next morning I put my decision into action. All, with the exception of Rikku and Aron, walked with me through the gate to a world full of memories, a world of the past.

Why didn't they come with me? I can't tell, but I respected her decision.

Not every memory of the lost or the past is also happy or helpful for everyone.

You probably didn't want to face these memories, and I accepted it without resentment.

The Farplane posed no danger in this place.

Lulu, Wakka and also Tidus, on the other hand, accompanied me. I think each of them had their own concerns ..... Wakka and Lulu, who must have thought of Chappu, and also the blonde Zanarkandier, whose thoughts I couldn't guess.The Farplane holds different memories for everyone.

At the end of our visit I knew what I was going to do, carefully weighed the pros and cons, and made a firm decision.

So we left the Farplane, Lulu and Wakka calmer, more balanced than ever before, Tidus closed in as always, I stepped steadily, full of clarity.

When I had just passed the portal, a warning shout went off and I noticed movement behind me. I whirled around startled and saw the transparent figure of an old Guado with blue hair standing behind me on the other side ..... as he reached out a hand to me. Horrified, I took a step back, realizing that he couldn't leave the Jiiye. I saw his terribly pained expression, realized that he was desperately trying to tell me something. I suddenly knew who he was. I had seen his picture in the residence. No mistake.I recognized Seymour in his face too. It was the late father of the current head of the Guado. Seymour's father. Lord Jyscal.

He stretched out his arm just before it passed. A bright glass clink sounded at my feet and I bent down. It was a storage spheroid, a kind of memory, like a photo album or one of those records that flickered across screens in Luca ... A memory like the one Seymour had shown us at the residence. I looked up and caught one last glimpse of Lord Jyskal's face before it faded, watched it fade away.

He tried to tell me something. I nodded. He would be heard.

That same morning I went to the residence, but Seymour had already left for the shrine in Macalania, which he was head of as maester, so that I could not tell him of my decision. Well, we would go to Macalania anyway, because the pilgrimage also went there.I was calm because my mind was made up.

On the way back from the residence, I had to go through the hall. I lingered briefly before Jyscal's portrait. I turned the sphere between my fingers and nodded to the painted face of the Guado.

Then I turned and ran out to my companions, my loyal friends, and we set off. To the thundering steppe. To Macalania.