Cape. 5

Exhausted, I handed my wand to Lulu and retired to the beach to relax. The sea had largely erased the visible traces of the struggle. Everything seemed peaceful and calm, as if the offensive with its many victims had never existed.
Luttz had survived, but Gatta would never return to Besaid again. The cheerful, lovable Crusader had already fallen in the first attack.
All the suffering, the sadness ..... I shook my head. Was it worth it?
I ignored the approaching footsteps and ignored the person. I didn't even look around. I just wanted to be alone.

Then I heard the gentle voice of the man who made me feel so ambivalent. that I thought I recognized one moment and not the next. Someone who surprised me again and again ... and fascinated ... in both good and bad.
Maybe that's why he made me feel so insecure. Because I couldn't place him and his intentions.When I turned away so he couldn't see my face, he followed me.
"Milady," he said. "When normal mortals surrender to suffering and grief, it may be acceptable, normal and understandable. But you must now prove your strength!"
Strength ??? Anger flared up in me! Strength ??? Damn it, I was only human too!
What did he allow himself? Did he really think I could leave all the suffering behind me so easily? Just keep on laughing happily?
The foaming anger covered my eyes with dark veils.

He kept walking towards me, walking around me and pointing to Wakka, who was praying not far from us. I watched him out of the corner of my eye. He looked so calm, so serene. How could he. He had been there. When these poor people gave their lives for hope. He had seen them fail, had fought with them! How could he be so numb?

"Lady Yuna" he started again. I didn't want to hear his words, but his voice penetrated even through the shadows of anger and despair."You, as a daughter of the Hohe Mediums Braska, yourself a medium, you must not allow yourself any weakness in the face of SIN. You are now the hope of the survivors, yes of all the people of Spira. If you appear hopeless, how should they still contact the Believe in peace, in silence? You have to internalize this, accept this. "I looked up at him and thought I saw understanding speak from his eyes. He was right and I knew it. I nodded. My anger evaporated.

If only it wasn't so difficult. I felt like I was going to break under this burden. I never thought it would be so difficult.
He got closer and I could feel the warmth radiating from him on my bare upper arms. He leaned down slightly and I was surprised to see how tall he really was. I just reached his chest. His eyes slid over my face and sought eye contact. Embarrassed, I lowered my eyes under this searching look, felt the blood rise to my cheeks.I tried with all my might, and I hardly dared to breathe. Fear and a certain fascination spread inside me. He looked at me carefully.

"I know you must feel exhausted and weak." he whispered in that velvety voice that made Luca shiver.
I noticed the smell emanating from him, a mixture of forest, fresh green, dark earth and man. How could someone with his abilities, heir to Jyskal, a maester of the Yevonite order, seem so cool and aloof, so calculating yes, almost repulsive to me in one moment and be so caring for me the next? I turned away slightly, afraid of his undeniable presence, avoided looking directly at him.

When he offered me in a low voice to take part of my burden and more or less become my mentor, I was shocked. It would mean revealing a lot about me to him.
Too much maybe.Is that what I wanted? Did I want him to know me that well?
I did not know it. On the one hand, this man fascinated me. On the other hand, I shrank from its power and presence. What did he have in mind?

"Let me help you as Zeyno Yunalesca once helped." he whispered.
What the hell did he mean by that? I knew the old lore about Lady Yunalesca,
the first to attain the high incantation as a medium and to subdue SIN. They were part of my training.

I looked up at him. He smiled at me endearingly, but I wasn't sure what I was reading in his eyes. Was it expectation? Calculation? Care? What the hell did he want? I couldn't tell, but after all that had happened, my feelings refused to attribute negative motives to him. So far he hadn't done anything that would have harmed me or my Guardians, on the contrary.
Perhaps it was because the head and gut feeling about this impressive man were in constant conflict.That I didn't understand what he was, powerful as he was,
im intended in relation to me.

He stepped back, which I registered with an unwelcome sense of incomprehensible disappointment. He said gallantly goodbye. He wanted to give me time to think carefully about my decision, I knew that.
Patience spoke from his words as he told me there would be other moments to talk, and that he hoped to find more time.
He was bound by his duties as maester and leader of the Guado people, which occupied most of his time. I nodded again and bowed to him.
With an indistinguishable look at me, he smiled, then turned and left.
I was left in confusion and uncertainty. His words regarding Spira's hope still echoed in my head.
Yes, he was right. I couldn't show any weakness, couldn't show my despair and my sadness. I had to show strength for the benefit of my people.Even now.