I dedicate this FF to balckflame ^^ I hope you like it

Bye bye blue sky

Everyone has their own refuges, places of refuge that they seek out when something in their life does not seem to be going well. Some do sports. It makes you feel good when your pulse goes faster and the sweat runs down your back. True to the motto: healthy body, healthy mind!
Then there are others who begin to numb their worries and fears, stress at work or at home with alcohol. Fat! Unfortunately, alcohol has more disadvantages than advantages.
But there is also this very special variety who do not bother about everyday life, who do not need a place of refuge because they have mastered their lives better than others and are satisfied with themselves.

I never really liked to sweat, exercise wasn't something I lacked. And I've never been able to leave Alkis.
Unfortunately, I wasn't that one special kind of person who had everything under control, either.I lived in the middle of the city with my mother. After separating from my father, she wanted to start over. Today I think we would have better stayed in the country. On this old rotting farm in the ass of the world.
Of course, I was actually looking forward to the city back then. We had this shabby apartment with mold on the walls and cockroaches in the bathroom. but my mother, my proud mother who imagined she really belonged to the one special breed, just said: It'll be fine.
'We already! ' Naturally. As naive as I was back then, I didn't even believe that 'it will be fine'.
So I could say that the move contributed to the whole mess, but that wasn't the only factor.
About a month later, my mother's new boyfriend moved in.
I liked him. he let me do my thing and I let him do his.
At that time there were more and more advertisements in the newspaper reporting new heroin deaths. Heroin.At this point I was of little interest to H. Why? H seemed so incredibly far away to me. Far from my mother, her boyfriend and our shabby apartment.
After my mother's friend moved in and a year of more or less harmonious coexistence, there was another factor. My mother got pregnant.
And with that event, things started to change. Not all at once, but gradually, slowly and quietly.
First there was the statement that there was no room for four in this apartment. But neither my mum nor her boyfriends earned enough money to buy a bigger apartment. And that's when I was really angry for the first time. Not as angry as you get when the bus pulls away from you or when you argue with your best friend. I was maddened. This anger would be a good companion to me for the next few years.
I stopped talking to my mother from the moment she told me: "Kai, we're having a baby."That fact alone didn't really bother me that much. But their ominous message went further. She said: "The baby will be a strain on our budget and well ..... Stern ..."
Star. My dog. My everything. When the two of them were working all day and I came home, Stern was there. I just loved this creature. And now my mother explained to me that with the birth of my sibling there was no longer any place in our family for Stern? Then my anger spread to the unborn child in my mother's womb.
Today I see how childish I reacted back then.
In any case, my dog ​​had to go and the child came. Which I didn't care at all by now. I went to these clubs in the evening. Clubs I wasn't allowed to go to, but that didn't bother me too much. I quickly got the hang of getting what I wanted.
Also when it came to drugs. Hash was not an issue. Only once had I rolled a joint and not even half smoked it.What I really liked was LSD. So I went to clubs and took a trip. No more. When someone offered me an H, I tapped my forehead. "Hey dude, I'm not stupid!"
No? I didn't even know how stupid I really was.
I got into a clike. They were all people who just tried a few things. Occasionally smoked a joint or took a trip. In this clike I got to know Jana, who like most of them was about two years older than me. We shared a great passion. The singing.
Sometimes when I just lay there listening to music or basking in the sun, I didn't find my life so bad at all. But nothing has ever given me such a kick as singing. How the adrenaline rushes in you when a song is just perfect.
Back then I could at least still get excited about something.
Jana was the first woman that interested me. And she remained the only one until her death. Jana was another factor.The clike was my life, my family. I hung out with them after school. I had given up homework for a long time.
In the afternoon we hung out at the train station or in a cheap restaurant called: "Heyyli". In addition to Jana, Troben, Danny, Pest, Cloe and Betz were also involved.
We all loved heroin and didn't want anything to do with it.
But life didn't want to make it that easy for us.
Everything started with Jana and everything ended with Jana.

* would be happy about clerks *