Chapter 7: close your eyes and forget the past that plagued you so much

I tapped impatiently on the small wooden table and my gaze wandered to the entrance for the thirtieth time ...
It was the middle of the night and I was getting more and more impatient ... I couldn't sleep, not with this full head ... My thoughts spat too much, I keep seeing her look, the look she gave me as she left . It certainly took away that Kaede had died, but there was something else ... was she so depressed about me? After ten years? And what about me? Where was my grief over the death of old Miko?
I shook my head vigorously ... no, I couldn't tell her who I was ... no ...
My gaze slid to Tessaiga, who was leaning against the wall, and my red Suikan, which was folded up next to it ... why was I still carrying that stuff around with me? It was an old piece of the past, unimportant and useless ... a rusted sword was of little use to me and the robe would only give me away.I was annoyed with myself and grabbed this garbage to put it under the bed. To a place where I didn't have to see it anymore.
The candle was almost burned down, I didn't have many left, I should go to sleep soon. Then I looked at the windowsill, where there were two candles made of white wax ... but it wasn't the candles that drew my gaze so excitedly, no, it was two eyes that mysteriously observed me through the window, two chocolate-brown eyes ...
I stepped closer to the window, causing my eyes to recede a little. I opened the window quickly and looked out into the darkness.
The brown eyes belonged to a little girl with short black hair who eyed me curiously.
"Who are you?" I asked her in a surprised voice, but she didn't answer me. Instead, she continued to stare at me with her brown eyes ... those brown eyes, they reminded me of someone ... someone important ..."Who are you?" I tried again.
"Mia!" She replied succinctly. She didn't seem to be afraid of me in any way, even though I was a complete stranger to her.
"And what are you doing at my window, please?" I poked.
"Are you Inuyasha?"
I suddenly froze. How did she know? How did she even know me?
I just looked at her in silence, whereupon a slight smile appeared on her lips.
"I knew it, that red Suikan and the sword, you have finally returned!", She almost shouted, whereupon I immediately covered her mouth and pulled her into the hut.
"Not everyone has to know that!" I hissed at her and gave her a haunted look that it would be better for her if she only whispered.
"How do you know me from?" I said then in a soft voice.
She kept looking into my eyes, this direct look made me restless, what was that supposed to mean? Was she looking for something in my eyes?"I know you from stories ... I knew you would return ..."
I shuddered when she talked like that, it sounded strangely as if she had known me for a long time.
I grumbled a little when I heard a call from outside. The little one was strange, especially her manner seemed very familiar to me.
“Mia!” The shouting got stronger and now I could also recognize the voice, it was Kagome who was looking for the little one.
I pushed her a little harshly towards the door, which I consequently opened immediately. The worried face immediately noticed the movement in the dark and stepped up to me with quick steps.
However, her gaze was only on the little one, who looked up apologetically.
"Sorry, Mum ...!" She said quickly before the accusation was even heard. But my eyes widen when I fully absorbed the little ones' sentence. Did she just say "Mum"? That was what Kagome had always called her mother ... My eyes widened, but I tried to let it show as little as possible.Two pairs of brown eyes were fixed on me as I stood in front of them speechless. But I just waved it off.
"She didn't bother me, really ...!"
The resemblance of the two was amazing, the same black hair and the same eyes with the stubborn, penetrating gaze. But who was her father?
The thought of it hurt, it hurt deeply, so I quickly retreated to the little hut while the two quietly disappeared without even suspecting what they had just done to me.
It hurt even to think that someone else should have touched her, kissed her ... touched and kissed my Kagome?
I shook the thought out of my head. Why should I think like that? I left her behind, left her alone for ten long years, it was my will that she would be happy, why shouldn't I allow her to do it now?
I tried to stop at the next back of the chair, otherwise I was in danger of falling over from the pain inside.This pain, this jealousy ... how could I leave her alone?
I put a firm grip on my chest. This jewel, it was all to blame ... this jewel ... couldn't she see it? Actually incomprehensible ...
What would actually happen if I took it from myself ...?
"You would die ...", the voice rang out in me and again I realized the hopelessness of my situation ...
I threw myself on the bed, it still smelled of the old woman ... how could I sleep here? In her bed? She took care of me, always helped us…. Why did she die?
Everything penetrated me, I had returned, I wanted to see Kagome, I wanted to look her in the eye one more time and now I am superfluous, her heart now belonged to someone else and the old woman who was almost like a mother to me ... she was also no longer there ... everything disappeared and came off my hands, it slipped away from me ...

It took hours before I managed to close an eye, but when the sun began to blast through the window, I managed to get some sleep for a few hours.As a person, this was all the more necessary.
As a Hanyou, I could march for days without the slightest trace of fatigue, but now ... this human body was weak ...

I was woken up by an early knock on the wooden door.
I swung out of bed with no problem, I had circles under my eyes and my head was pounding from thinking. Who could come and see me this morning?
The door creaked treacherously when I opened it a crack.
Again the little one stood in front of me and looked at me with demanding eyes. Her look seemed apologetic, but I didn't know what she wanted. I opened the door a little wider to let them in.
"What do you want now?" I asked her forcefully and with a hint of anger in my voice.
"I ..." she stammered. "I told her!"
This made my eyes widen, I hurriedly turned to her and at first just looked at her in silence. I tried to find the confirmation in her eyes, which I found to my regret."You have what?" I almost yelled at her, whereupon she squeezed her eyes slightly together. I had asked her, almost threatened her, but she really was like her mother ... stubborn, stubborn and she wasn't afraid of demons.
"But she doesn't believe me, she was angry because she said I would tell her such lies!", She continued to stammer to herself.
I just shook my head. Once smacked at the truth, it wouldn't be long before she found out. It was just a matter of time ...
I slowly turned to her: "Why are you doing this?"
It was alien to me that someone would do such a thing, especially a child who threatened to tear his parents apart….
She seemed about to answer me, but then she just shook her head and stared deeply into my eyes.
"Please, just tell her, then everything else will work out ...!"
Then she was gone, suddenly she turned and ran out.I wanted to scream after her that she should wait, but she didn't seem to let herself be held back.
It all struck me as very strange, especially this girl, she knew things that would help, but she didn't want to tell me.
I closed the door from the outside and stepped through the village, I don't know if it was Kagome I was looking for, or if I just needed time to think ... at least after a few steps I was facing her.
What the little one said really bothered me, it would have been better if
I would never have returned? What if I had died in this little village like my brother wanted?
At least it was too late now.
I stood across from her and already felt her eyes weigh me down, looking me up and down. I knew exactly what she was looking for, an important artifact that I hadn't gotten rid of until today. I hid it under my shirt so no one could see it.I raised my face slowly and steadfastly to look at her ... Of course I was afraid of how she would react, whether she recognized me after all, or whether she just looked at me normally.
Her gaze was normal, but still spellbound on me, I had to get away, away from her, I felt how panic gradually seized me and the urge for distance rose in me. I took a step back ...
"Morning!", I said in a cheerful voice that should sound distracting, whereupon she only nodded to me as if in a trance.
I walked past her in quick steps in the direction of the forest, where I was not sure, but I just wanted to get away.
"Wait please!", She called after me, but my feet didn't stop, I didn't want to stop either. The worst part, however, was that she followed me. I heard her creeping steps with which she was trying to catch up with me, I could imagine her hand trying to grab my shoulder.
"WAIT!", she screamed now energetically and I felt a jolt through my body, which told me that I should better stand still, that running away would be of no use ... that she already knew whose back she was looking at.
I turned slowly to look at her again to stare into her beautiful brown eyes and see nothing but fear.
Without a word she grabbed my neck and my breath caught as she held the chain of curse that was still around my neck in her hand. Her eyes became cloudy and I felt the reaction in her appearance, in her posture ...