Translation
What you`ve done
Look at me
--------
"Kaede" - "Yes?" - "I will leave this house ..."
-------
It is evening. I am sitting in my room. I've been sitting there for days now. Drawn the curtains and thought.
A week has passed since Rin said he wanted to go.
He wants to go ...
But why?
He said I only had work because of him ...
But I like to cook for him!
Living for him is my purpose in life! And now he wants to go ... get out of my life ...
If I'm honest…
Have I cooked, cleaned, shopped and done other things for him all these years for just one reason ...
I did all this to be with him ...
Because I love him.
I love him more than anything.
When he disappears from my life there is no point for me to stay.
But I can't leave Primula alone.
She is only 14 years old and would then be all alone.
So what should I do?
If I have to stay here any longer ...
Without Rin ...
I can not do it.I can not do it!
How did it get that far in the first place?
That he wants to go?
Many years ago…
My mother went on vacation with Rin's parents. My father couldn't come because he was on business. I and Rin were little then. 7 years old. I had been seriously ill before my mother left, but had recovered. But after she left, I relapsed. I didn't know that my father called my mother and convinced her to come back ...
Why did I have to be sick then?
Why?
My mother went back because of my illness.
And died…
In a car accident ...
I was so shocked that I didn't want to go on living.
Rin started talking one night in the hospital room I was in. He told me that he had urged his parents and my mother to go back.
And I fool believed him.
From that night on, I had recovered. I was allowed to go home again and my father was overjoyed.Rin should live with us. Because he had no one else to go to.
... That Rin never said anything ...
It's strange.
Because I hadn't forgiven him.
Whenever I could, I showed him that.
I ravaged his room, injured him and verbally abused him.
Of course only when no one else was there.
A few years later, when I was 13, I went back to his room to ravage it.
But then I discovered something.
A postcard.
A postcard to me.
From my mother.
It said that she would come back because of my relapse.
It was only then that I realized that her death was my fault.
All along I had held Rin responsible for something he couldn't do.
God, how blind I was.
I asked Rin's forgiveness.
I was so sorry.
I couldn't put into words how much I regretted it.
Rin forgave me.
And from then on, I always took care of him.
Now 4 years have passed and Rin has fallen in love with Asa.He wants to move out into his own apartment.
And leave me alone
Has he not forgiven me after all?
Were his words 'it's okay' a lie?
Does he love to see me suffer?
No, it's because I'm your purpose in life and that's not a good thing.
That's what Rin said to me.
Then he left.
Now he's back here.
But only to pack his things.
--------
"Kaede?" ... "Kaede ... I'll go now ..."
Rin is at my door.
I do not know what to do.
I would love to see him, but I can't.
A thought of him and tears run down my cheeks like a brook.
"I'm leaving now…"
Steps.
No!
I can't let him go!
He mustn't go!
What will happen to me
I quickly jump up from my bed and run to the front door.
There he stands.
Rin.
Asa is there too.
"Kaede ..."
Both look at me sadly.
I would love to cry again.
Let everything out.
But I know that it doesn't work.So I leave it.
"Rin."
Should I really?
Should I really tell him what I've been planning all along?
Yes I must!
Otherwise ... there is simply no other way.
I say quietly and choppily: "If you already disappear from my life, then at least do me one last favor."
At Rin's questioning look, I take a deep breath and continue: "Take Primula with you. So that I can go too."
Mute tears run down my cheeks, I am trembling.
I'm not waiting for Rin's answer.
I run past him and Asa, through the front door.
I already know where I'm running.
I planned everything.
If I no longer have to take care of Primula, whom Rin once picked up from the street, I can finally get out of here.
Leave this cruel life behind and escape into another world.
What am I supposed to do here?
There is no reason to stay.
I finally see the bridge in front of me.
Where everything will end soon.
Where a new life begins for meI hear calls from behind me.
Calls from ... Rin!
But I ignore him.
There is only one goal left in front of my eyes and I will achieve that at all costs.
Even Rin can't stop me now.
It only got this far because of him!
He took away my meaning in life!
He made me forget to love!
He taught me to hate!
And now he's really running after me and wants to stop me!
I can not believe it.
Why is he doing this?
I'm on the bridge now.
A dangerous river rushes below me and it will be my salvation.
I climb over the railing and now stand on the edge of the bridge.
The rush of the river whispers to me to come closer.
To a better world.
"I will too," I whisper and close my eyes.
I let go of the railing that I was holding onto and lean forward.
I can no longer hear Rin's calls.
I'm slowly tilting forward.An ever more beautiful feeling of freedom is spreading inside me and I am enjoying it.
Just as my feet come off the bridge, something grabs my arms.
Startled, I open my eyes.
"Rin!"
Rin, he's holding me tight!
But why…
"Stop the bullshit!"
"Bullshit? You mean, that's bullshit? Let go of me! Rin! It was my decision to leave and not we stop me! No matter what you try, sooner or later I'll get out of this life!"
I yell at Rin.
With tears on my face.
I suffer and he thinks it's bullshit.
"I only did that I move out so that you can turn to other things than me, follow a different meaning in life! And not that you kill yourself!"
I understand Rin's words.
Still, I can't change my meaning in life that easily!
"The only purpose for me to live is for you and what will never change! So finally let go of me!"
But Rin won't let go of me.On the contrary, he's pulling me up the bridge!
"No," I whimper.
I just want to die!
Is that too much?
Can't this one request come true?
With one last 'let go of me' I kick around wildly.
And Rin can't hold me anymore
My arms slip out of his hands and I fall into the depths.
"Kaede! NO!"
"I love you Rin ..." I breath.
Then I close my eyes and take a deep breath.
One last time.
----------------
Nya, how did you like it?
Hope well XD
Your ArimaChan
PS: Please do clerks ^ - ^
"Kaede" - "Yes?" - "I will leave this house ..."
-------
It is evening. I am sitting in my room. I've been sitting there for days now. Drawn the curtains and thought.
A week has passed since Rin said he wanted to go.
He wants to go ...
But why?
He said I only had work because of him ...
But I like to cook for him!
Living for him is my purpose in life! And now he wants to go ... get out of my life ...
If I'm honest…
Have I cooked, cleaned, shopped and done other things for him all these years for just one reason ...
I did all this to be with him ...
Because I love him.
I love him more than anything.
When he disappears from my life there is no point for me to stay.
But I can't leave Primula alone.
She is only 14 years old and would then be all alone.
So what should I do?
If I have to stay here any longer ...
Without Rin ...
I can not do it.I can not do it!
How did it get that far in the first place?
That he wants to go?
Many years ago…
My mother went on vacation with Rin's parents. My father couldn't come because he was on business. I and Rin were little then. 7 years old. I had been seriously ill before my mother left, but had recovered. But after she left, I relapsed. I didn't know that my father called my mother and convinced her to come back ...
Why did I have to be sick then?
Why?
My mother went back because of my illness.
And died…
In a car accident ...
I was so shocked that I didn't want to go on living.
Rin started talking one night in the hospital room I was in. He told me that he had urged his parents and my mother to go back.
And I fool believed him.
From that night on, I had recovered. I was allowed to go home again and my father was overjoyed.Rin should live with us. Because he had no one else to go to.
... That Rin never said anything ...
It's strange.
Because I hadn't forgiven him.
Whenever I could, I showed him that.
I ravaged his room, injured him and verbally abused him.
Of course only when no one else was there.
A few years later, when I was 13, I went back to his room to ravage it.
But then I discovered something.
A postcard.
A postcard to me.
From my mother.
It said that she would come back because of my relapse.
It was only then that I realized that her death was my fault.
All along I had held Rin responsible for something he couldn't do.
God, how blind I was.
I asked Rin's forgiveness.
I was so sorry.
I couldn't put into words how much I regretted it.
Rin forgave me.
And from then on, I always took care of him.
Now 4 years have passed and Rin has fallen in love with Asa.He wants to move out into his own apartment.
And leave me alone
Has he not forgiven me after all?
Were his words 'it's okay' a lie?
Does he love to see me suffer?
No, it's because I'm your purpose in life and that's not a good thing.
That's what Rin said to me.
Then he left.
Now he's back here.
But only to pack his things.
--------
"Kaede?" ... "Kaede ... I'll go now ..."
Rin is at my door.
I do not know what to do.
I would love to see him, but I can't.
A thought of him and tears run down my cheeks like a brook.
"I'm leaving now…"
Steps.
No!
I can't let him go!
He mustn't go!
What will happen to me
I quickly jump up from my bed and run to the front door.
There he stands.
Rin.
Asa is there too.
"Kaede ..."
Both look at me sadly.
I would love to cry again.
Let everything out.
But I know that it doesn't work.So I leave it.
"Rin."
Should I really?
Should I really tell him what I've been planning all along?
Yes I must!
Otherwise ... there is simply no other way.
I say quietly and choppily: "If you already disappear from my life, then at least do me one last favor."
At Rin's questioning look, I take a deep breath and continue: "Take Primula with you. So that I can go too."
Mute tears run down my cheeks, I am trembling.
I'm not waiting for Rin's answer.
I run past him and Asa, through the front door.
I already know where I'm running.
I planned everything.
If I no longer have to take care of Primula, whom Rin once picked up from the street, I can finally get out of here.
Leave this cruel life behind and escape into another world.
What am I supposed to do here?
There is no reason to stay.
I finally see the bridge in front of me.
Where everything will end soon.
Where a new life begins for meI hear calls from behind me.
Calls from ... Rin!
But I ignore him.
There is only one goal left in front of my eyes and I will achieve that at all costs.
Even Rin can't stop me now.
It only got this far because of him!
He took away my meaning in life!
He made me forget to love!
He taught me to hate!
And now he's really running after me and wants to stop me!
I can not believe it.
Why is he doing this?
I'm on the bridge now.
A dangerous river rushes below me and it will be my salvation.
I climb over the railing and now stand on the edge of the bridge.
The rush of the river whispers to me to come closer.
To a better world.
"I will too," I whisper and close my eyes.
I let go of the railing that I was holding onto and lean forward.
I can no longer hear Rin's calls.
I'm slowly tilting forward.An ever more beautiful feeling of freedom is spreading inside me and I am enjoying it.
Just as my feet come off the bridge, something grabs my arms.
Startled, I open my eyes.
"Rin!"
Rin, he's holding me tight!
But why…
"Stop the bullshit!"
"Bullshit? You mean, that's bullshit? Let go of me! Rin! It was my decision to leave and not we stop me! No matter what you try, sooner or later I'll get out of this life!"
I yell at Rin.
With tears on my face.
I suffer and he thinks it's bullshit.
"I only did that I move out so that you can turn to other things than me, follow a different meaning in life! And not that you kill yourself!"
I understand Rin's words.
Still, I can't change my meaning in life that easily!
"The only purpose for me to live is for you and what will never change! So finally let go of me!"
But Rin won't let go of me.On the contrary, he's pulling me up the bridge!
"No," I whimper.
I just want to die!
Is that too much?
Can't this one request come true?
With one last 'let go of me' I kick around wildly.
And Rin can't hold me anymore
My arms slip out of his hands and I fall into the depths.
"Kaede! NO!"
"I love you Rin ..." I breath.
Then I close my eyes and take a deep breath.
One last time.
----------------
Nya, how did you like it?
Hope well XD
Your ArimaChan
PS: Please do clerks ^ - ^