Feelings

~~ Bella Prov ~~

Dark. Black. Cold. Over all this cold, I feel like I'm freezing to death. But I'm still alive, just dead inside. Why do I feel this way? It should be completely different. I think the cold is just the emptiness inside of me. Yes, it has to be. I'm empty, burned out, died, dead inside. I'm here. Not you. Where are you? I need you! Come back! But no, you can't. Why? I can't tell, I just know You can and would never come to me! It is to be crazy! Nobody has ever hurt me, Bellatrix Lestrage, most loyal Death Eater, as you have. Because of you I die inside and still live. But what kind of life is that? Without a purpose, without a goal. I do not need it anymore. My feet carry me on and on. I don't know where they're taking me. I don't care either.

~~ Sirius Prov ~~

I am sitting here in my room. Inactive and tired. Memories torment me.Memories from a person I shouldn't have been allowed to think about. She's my death, I know that, but I don't care. I cannot live with or without them. One kiss from her would be enough to make me as happy as only angels can. Bella where are you Thinking your name makes me happy As happy as I haven't been in a long time. I get up, can no longer sit or lie down, just want to run. Where? Doesn't matter where my feet take me. Maybe they'll bring me to you What a nice thought! I'm leaving my house, nobody will miss me here.

~~ Bella Prov ~~

I remember when I first saw you I pretended not to like you, but that was just a facade. I've seen your eyes and I am lost in them. Your voice was like a revelation to me. But that doesn't matter anymore. Worlds separate us. We could never be happy together. I am now standing on a cliff.The call of the deep beckons me. But I hesitate. I don't want to throw my life away, no matter how pointless it may seem. I can not. What? What's this? Is anyone there? I can sense that there is someone there. I turn around and see you. Sirius. It seems like a stab in the heart.

~~ Sirius Prov ~~

I ran. How long? I don't know, I've lost all sense of time. In my mind I see your face. It's like it used to be, so beautiful and flawless. How do you look now? Too often I've asked myself this question, too often I've visited you in my dreams. I want to see you, that's enough for me. My thoughts are only about you. I want you to be with me Where am I? I see a dark figure. Who is this? I am drawn to her. Can this be. The figure is slowly turning around, must have noticed me. I see her face and my heart skips. Bella. I found you.




~~ Bella Prov. ~~You're the one. It really is you. You come up to me, very slowly. I see your beautiful, yet drawn, face. You came to me Now you are with me I get hot and cold. Why are you there I see confusion on your face, but also joy. Are you happy to see me? Are you as happy as I am? You keep getting closer, I can't move It's like a dream, I don't want to wake up. You are now very close to me, you can see you very well. You have changed, Azkaban has drawn you. You're getting closer and closer. I can no longer say what I feel, I feel everything, deep happiness, suppresses longing and also desire, yes I desire you. Your face is very close to mine. I look at you, you look at me

~~ Sirius Prov. ~~

I get closer to you. I notice that you can't come to me. Why? Can't you do it or don't you want to? I have to know it. You don't look angry at me like you did in the past.You look at me with big, amazed eyes. How I've missed those eyes I want to sink into them. Bella, I'll be with you in a moment. I want to be close to you Very close and then I want to stay with you forever. You still haven't moved. My face in front of yours I can feel your breath, and smell, and taste. You still don't show any reaction, but in your eyes I can see that you are not uncomfortable being so close to me, your enemy. Our lips are separated by just a few centimeters.

~~ Bella Prov. ~~

Your lips touch mine Very gently, almost shyly. A little touch, but a fire seems to break out inside me. A fire of happiness. I can't tell if I've ever been this happy. Your lips are soft and warm, they embrace mine. I forget the world around me. That must be love. I never knew what it was, but now I know. This feeling should never end. You and me forever.~~ Sirius Prov. ~~

When our lips meet, the world remains to be seen. I feel complete, happy, yes, blissful. You're warm, almost hot. I want to feel you even more, but I notice that you are not in a hurry. We have eternity. We will stay together forever. I'll take care of that. We're standing on a cliff. The abyss calls us. He calls us into the depths, into eternity. I've made my decision. Only there can we be together, our love would have no chance here. I hug you, how good it is to finally hold you in my arms. And push me off the cliff You do not defend yourself. You also know that we can only be together in the hereafter. We fly like birds down the abyss, firmly embraced. So close to death, but even closer to happiness. You and me - see you forever.



END


Hanny-hasy


So that's it from yours truly. I would be very happy about a few comments. And one more thing: that was my first fanfic! So don't be so strict. ** gg **