That was my story, I thought, after all I was in the afterlife, my life was over. But suddenly, all of a sudden, I was back in the world of the living, as an undead. How did that happen? The answer to my question was immediate. The witch's boast quickly made it clear that it was she who was bringing me back to this troubled world. All I wanted was to die again, but then I saw him, Inuyasha. This time I felt not only anger, but also hatred towards him, because who knows what he had done to people while I was in the afterlife! How could I have known he was doing no wrong at all? My last memories of him were his shameful deeds. How did he get free in the first place? I could figure it out when I saw the girl who must be my rebirth, much like she was to me. At that time I did not register that Kagome had splinters of Shikon no Tama with him. Otherwise I would have become even more angry - if that was still possible - because I wanted to know this ominous thing forever in the hereafter!I was fixated on Inuyasha and now that I had the strength to do it and could hate Inuyasha, I wanted to do what I should have done before - destroy him. Even my sister couldn't stop me because I was completely blind with hate. I pushed her hard aside, even if in retrospect I was sorry for treating her like that. Only my rebirth was able to and did keep me from my goal. She called our soul back to her, bit by bit, and I had to go. I fled because it would be "my" final death if I stayed. Inuyasha followed me. Yes, and he even saved me, if only briefly. I wanted to conquer him, but my second attempt to kill him only slipped out of his hands and fell into the depths.

But I woke up again and when I started walking disoriented and half dazed, soul catchers came to me. I didn't call them, they came voluntarily and I wondered what they wanted from me.They understood me wordlessly and for the first time brought me the soul of a deceased who had not yet passed over. She gave me life force, like other souls, but I let her wander into heaven or into the hereafter before it was too late for her. They would recover again, after all they had eternity for that. After my failure, I didn't want to think about Inuyasha anymore and use my second chance here on earth. Basically, I just longed for a quiet life and so I tried to realize it. I was accepted as a miko in a village and I taught the children to use the herbs as I did as a living person and I liked it. It went well for a while before this monk came with his apprentice. He really thought he could blow me up. I sent him a warning, but he ignored it. He looked for me at night to send me back to the afterlife. He didn't succeed, I kill him, even if accidentally.A claw from his dragon bored into his neck as I blew it up with my might to save my undead life. I mourned for him because he was trying to do the right thing, even if his words made me angry. I would be tragic and still have no place here. Then the little one from the village followed me and saw everything. Unfortunately I couldn't change it and so I left. Because even if she wanted me to stay after her first fear, it wouldn't go well for long. One would find out about this, and if not through her, then surely through the apprentice of the monk who had run away. After I apologized to her because she shouldn't have seen anything like that, I went and didn't look back. The monk's words couldn't get out of my head and I finally realized that he was right.

Since I couldn't find a quiet place where I could live peacefully as the undead, I only wanted one thing: to die with Inuyasha.Because even if I hated him, I loved him equally. Kagome, my rebirth, found me earlier than he did because of my spell. I actually wanted to prepare myself internally when I felt him nearby, so I had set up the protective circle, but the girl thwarted my plans. I told her what I was up to. Why not? She would see it soon, because I locked her up to the tree with a couple of my soul catchers so that she couldn't interfere. She tried to explain to me what had happened then, but why should I believe her? I saw it then, she didn't. Who knows what Inuyasha had talked to her. Probably he wanted to take advantage of her as well as me. I didn't think about it, because even if it did, it didn't change anything about my death then. The latter was then also my answer to her words. I didn't believe her anyway, so I didn't worry, just explained my feelings to her.She had no further chance to convince me otherwise, because then he came, Inuyahsa.

We talked. Yes, and it was touching what he said, but could I believe him? I stopped with my thoughts, walked up to him and kissed him. There was this feeling from back then, I felt it and the strangest thing was, he felt the same way, my heart told me that. He actually seemed to still love me as I did him. I turned my mind back on. But I couldn't trust him because he had betrayed me before and that couldn't happen a second time. When we held each other and talked to each other, it was so nice and he wished that the Zeil would stand still, which made me sit up and take notice in surprise. Did he want it too? I asked and his answer was that he wouldn't mind as long as he was with me. I didn't think about it further, because I had his consent and he made no conditions.I went straight to work to make both of our dreams come true. My rebirth was talking something to itself. I only partially listened to her, my spirit was way too much with Inuyasha. I loved and hated him alike and I tried neither to suppress and just wanted to be with him. But again my rebirth thwarted my plan. I couldn't do it anymore and Inuyasha woke up from my sleep spell, freed her. He probably liked her more than me, otherwise he would have come with me, wouldn't he? After all, he didn't know what I was up to, acted instinctively. Whatever it was, I was disappointed. I left, leaving her behind, just reminding Inuyasha that the kiss was my love. Whatever he felt for me, but that had been real, and his response to it, my heart knew - at least something.

I went to a special woman in a village I knew, because I was really confused.I couldn't get out of my head what the girl was telling me, so I wanted to make sure that it really wasn't the truth. But I could only trust one person and that was Kaede, my sister. She told me after her surprise to see me without hesitation what really happened then. My hatred of Inuyasha died away. So he hadn't betrayed me at all, as I had always thought ... However, this realization also put me in a bind. I wanted to be with Inuyasha, but I was an undead so I wasn't allowed to do this. I had already felt that I couldn't be happy here, because my second chance quickly fizzled out. But I couldn't leave this world yet, and certainly not with him, because first I had to turn off this Naraku before he could bring further harm to everyone. Inuyasha wouldn't want to leave sooner anyway, because as Kagome said, he wanted to get revenge for what he had done to us earlier.I understood that, even if it didn't bring me back to life. I also wanted to get revenge on Naraku, but unlike Inuyasha, because I had a plan that did not involve a fight.

When I first met Naraku, he tried to control me with a Shikon no Kakera, hard to believe. It was unclean, but I didn't do anything about it, it couldn't harm me either and Naraku would continue to believe I was available to him. When we were outside and Kagome was on the way to me, I destroyed his puppet that was holding me to show him that I was not so easy to get, not even as a servant. Kagome was immediately happy to see me, but the unclean splinter in me had an effect, even if he didn't control me. A thought that I had the whole time hit me painfully and made me madly jealous. She loved Inuyasha, had changed him and was by his side instead of me. I wanted to get back at her and the tendrils were just the thing for that.I shot my arrow, which brushed her cheek. I did this to scare her and when he hit behind her the ground dissolved so that she fell backwards. When she held on to a root, I helped her up again with my soul catchers, because I also wanted the Shikon no Kakera that she wore around her neck and the tendrils couldn't work until I had the splinter. I would have climbed down for it too or would have let my soul trappers take me there, but of course it was more practical that way. I cleaned the splinter in me and only then took hers to me so that she didn't think that I was so easily controlled. Then Kagome got her nightmare through the tendrils. I didn't know whether I was sorry or not after cleaning the splinter inside me - probably not. She had pushed herself between me and Inuyasha because he loved me and I loved him. I knew that she had no way of knowing that I would be resurrected, but it still felt like it to me.I just saw it the way I wanted to see it, because jealousy was gnawing at me.

A little later, Inuyasha came, rescued her from her nightmare. That she had one was obvious and I seemed to have been in it because she wasn't breathing heavily until she saw me. Inuyasha was visibly angry with me and in a way that got over to me. Did he like her that much? Did he really love her more than me? I deliberately irritated him, answering his question what I would have done with Kagome with a counter question. I asked him what he would do if I told him I tried to kill Kagome. Yes, I went even further. I asked him what his heart had wished for, under Narakus' illusion spell. Inuyasha didn't have to answer because I saw it in his face and in his eyes. He saw me, maybe even us together, as extreme as he reacted to my question. Inuyasha still loved me, that made me realize that again.Naraku couldn't even destroy our love with hate, and now that we knew the truth, our love even revived. I left because I didn't want to make him decide, it was obvious anyway. His love was mine, even if he