Translation
Kikyous Leben
*Ihre Gedanken*
Future, today
Now I am here again, in a completely different world that is alien to me and yet known. Suddenly I know more here than I should and I even know why I am here. Yes, I should comment on the situation today so that others can understand me. I look around and most of the looks that fall on me are full of hate. What did I actually do to them? Nothing if you think about it. Well, some just look at things superficially, but that doesn't even have to be the reason. There are enough people who just don't want to understand me! They don't want to see anything else in my behavior other than what suits them. They see me as the wicked witch who wants to tear Inuyasha and Kagome apart. I admit, it's easy to misinterpret my behavior, but as the saying goes: Appearances are deceptive. I'm going to touch on a couple of points that some here like to belittle me on. I hope you will forgive me for darting back and forth through my life and my feelings, but I am a bit confused by this new, strange world.But ... let's start with this:
I never wanted to kill Kagome. She is my rebirth after all, another part of me that I could never live. In her time it is possible to be happy, kind-hearted and sometimes a little naive. I don't really have anything against her, just jealous. Is that so wrong? Wouldn't others be too? Isn't even Kagome jealous of me? After all, Inuyasha loves me as much as she does. I was with him first, changed him, even if she may not believe it. In the beginning he was a lot more aggressive than when she met him. If she had met him in my time, he would probably have killed her, simply because he wanted the Shikon no Tama and she would hardly have given it to him. Yes, maybe he would even have wanted to kill her in his sleep if the chain of spells hadn't allowed him a fair fight. If it all had happened like this, Kagome would not have survived it, she is still too untrained as a Miko.But does someone want to acknowledge that I have also changed Inuyasha for the better? The fewest! No, in the eyes of the people here, I'm just "the bad guy" or the only rival of Kagome and that's why I have to be eliminated. It's also easy to blame everything on me, after all, I pinned Inuyasha to the tree back then. That I didn't know that Naraku had betrayed us doesn't count for most of them. I banned him, that's enough to demonize me.
Do i deserve this? I also blame myself for it, even if it isn't written on my face. They all think I have no feelings just because I show them so rarely. Do most of Inuyasha's half-brother, Sesshoumaru, think so too? No, why shouldn't he? He looks pretty attractive after all - you can't be angry with him! Yes, that's irony, but it's just unfair. With him they try to look behind the facade, but with me it probably doesn't even occur to them to do that.Then there is the mass pressure. Apparently, in this society today, it is customary to endorse the opinion of the majority. Do you hate Kikyou? Well, then I'll do that too - that's how it feels to me sometimes. I understand Sesshoumaru in part because I have tried hard to understand him, but we actually know far too little about him to really understand him. Of course there are also a few people who can do it, or at least come up with something that is consistent and suits him.
I also know that many here consider me selfish because I offered Inuyasha to become a "weak" person. Why do so few people think that I did it not just for myself but for us? And out of love? Well, I don't think I want to know the answer, it would probably just mean that they simply hate me. I liked Inuyasha the way he was, I liked myself the way I was, but were we happy the way we were?We always had to fight for Shikon no Tama, or for our lives, since I was a Miko and he was a Hanyou, we still are today. Do you feel a constant struggle for life and death beautiful? Always taking care of everything, never really having time for yourself, nice? I do not think so! And what would most of you already know about it? Have you ever been there? In the Sengoku-Jidai, the Japanese Middle Ages? Has your life ever been threatened, let alone had to fight for it? I doubt it. But I don't want to judge you, because I don't know you, but neither do you know me. You can guess what I think of my actions. You can guess who I am. Yes, maybe you can even understand it, but you haven't experienced it and that's why you shouldn't judge, any more than I do with you. I once heard a saying that I found very wise and it read: "Do not judge if you do not want to be judged."But I don't want to go into it any further, because I'm not really a philosopher, or what do you think? I've never thought about it ... Sorry, I've digressed a bit, I'm going back to the actual topic. What was that? Well me should comment on what I echoed about the situation today, the views of the people, towards me - so on.
I love Inuyaha and he loves me, will always have a place for me in his heart as I do for him. All those who do not want that cannot change anything, not in the original. You can turn me into a callous, selfish monster in your fanfics, manga or fanart, a cruel and vicious witch, but you cannot change "me". I will always be a thorn in the side of those who don't like me. Yes, a character that you like to destroy in your fantasies. I don't care, let them do it. I know that there are people who understand me, don't make me the bad guy.These are my real fans, or just people who have not let themselves be infected by the massive majority, who think for themselves, or simply look behind the scenes. I like them the way they like me. It gives me comfort when I read something other than bad about myself, but maybe even show up as good in your published fantasies. It is rare, but it happens and there is nothing the others can do about it. They can't give clerks, as they call it here, yes, but they can't destroy the factories - bad luck!
You shouldn't treat me like a saint either, because I'm not. It would be a falsification of my ego, because even if I am a miko, I am only human - albeit an imaginary figure - and therefore as imperfect as everyone else. I hope you understand what I mean, because I do my best as always. Maybe I made one or the other who hates me think, at least moved them to a neutrality and a neutral to see me as good, but maybe not.I don't hold it against anyone, I am difficult to understand, not so easy to see through and I do not play a leading role in this great story of Rumiko. You seldom see me and can therefore judge me worse. It's actually quite difficult and I thank those who took the trouble.
As a small thank you for my writer, I would like to say something about her fantasies. Schalmali took the trouble to portray me as I am in a fan fiction and that as one of the main roles. This story is called: "Light and dark on the hunt." You can see me there as bad if you hate me, but at least you, my fans, will surely recognize the necessity in my actions, as you already do Original did. I hope you enjoy whatever you do next. I don't just mean my fans, but also those who hate me or only tolerate me. Not everyone may understand that, but why should I wish one of you something bad?I do not want to take revenge on your freely expressible opinion. I am a tolerant person, otherwise I would certainly never have fallen in love with Inuyasha. Sometimes I find it difficult to ignore your hatreds, even if I'm used to it, but well, let's leave that. Back to my last words: "Have fun!"
END
_________
Well that was the one shot. While in my opinion I stuck to Kikyou in the first and second chapters, things worked a little worse in this third and last chapter. There's a bigger piece of my own opinion in it, even if I've tried to stick with Kikyou; but there is no clue what she would think of us today, hence this possible falsification. Also sorry for the self-promotion, somehow I couldn't help it, because Kikyou is rarely assigned a leading role and through this one-shot, maybe a few fans can get there.Finally, a big thank you for all readers and especially to the commentators of this one-shot, I hope you enjoyed it.
I never wanted to kill Kagome. She is my rebirth after all, another part of me that I could never live. In her time it is possible to be happy, kind-hearted and sometimes a little naive. I don't really have anything against her, just jealous. Is that so wrong? Wouldn't others be too? Isn't even Kagome jealous of me? After all, Inuyasha loves me as much as she does. I was with him first, changed him, even if she may not believe it. In the beginning he was a lot more aggressive than when she met him. If she had met him in my time, he would probably have killed her, simply because he wanted the Shikon no Tama and she would hardly have given it to him. Yes, maybe he would even have wanted to kill her in his sleep if the chain of spells hadn't allowed him a fair fight. If it all had happened like this, Kagome would not have survived it, she is still too untrained as a Miko.But does someone want to acknowledge that I have also changed Inuyasha for the better? The fewest! No, in the eyes of the people here, I'm just "the bad guy" or the only rival of Kagome and that's why I have to be eliminated. It's also easy to blame everything on me, after all, I pinned Inuyasha to the tree back then. That I didn't know that Naraku had betrayed us doesn't count for most of them. I banned him, that's enough to demonize me.
Do i deserve this? I also blame myself for it, even if it isn't written on my face. They all think I have no feelings just because I show them so rarely. Do most of Inuyasha's half-brother, Sesshoumaru, think so too? No, why shouldn't he? He looks pretty attractive after all - you can't be angry with him! Yes, that's irony, but it's just unfair. With him they try to look behind the facade, but with me it probably doesn't even occur to them to do that.Then there is the mass pressure. Apparently, in this society today, it is customary to endorse the opinion of the majority. Do you hate Kikyou? Well, then I'll do that too - that's how it feels to me sometimes. I understand Sesshoumaru in part because I have tried hard to understand him, but we actually know far too little about him to really understand him. Of course there are also a few people who can do it, or at least come up with something that is consistent and suits him.
I also know that many here consider me selfish because I offered Inuyasha to become a "weak" person. Why do so few people think that I did it not just for myself but for us? And out of love? Well, I don't think I want to know the answer, it would probably just mean that they simply hate me. I liked Inuyasha the way he was, I liked myself the way I was, but were we happy the way we were?We always had to fight for Shikon no Tama, or for our lives, since I was a Miko and he was a Hanyou, we still are today. Do you feel a constant struggle for life and death beautiful? Always taking care of everything, never really having time for yourself, nice? I do not think so! And what would most of you already know about it? Have you ever been there? In the Sengoku-Jidai, the Japanese Middle Ages? Has your life ever been threatened, let alone had to fight for it? I doubt it. But I don't want to judge you, because I don't know you, but neither do you know me. You can guess what I think of my actions. You can guess who I am. Yes, maybe you can even understand it, but you haven't experienced it and that's why you shouldn't judge, any more than I do with you. I once heard a saying that I found very wise and it read: "Do not judge if you do not want to be judged."But I don't want to go into it any further, because I'm not really a philosopher, or what do you think? I've never thought about it ... Sorry, I've digressed a bit, I'm going back to the actual topic. What was that? Well me should comment on what I echoed about the situation today, the views of the people, towards me - so on.
I love Inuyaha and he loves me, will always have a place for me in his heart as I do for him. All those who do not want that cannot change anything, not in the original. You can turn me into a callous, selfish monster in your fanfics, manga or fanart, a cruel and vicious witch, but you cannot change "me". I will always be a thorn in the side of those who don't like me. Yes, a character that you like to destroy in your fantasies. I don't care, let them do it. I know that there are people who understand me, don't make me the bad guy.These are my real fans, or just people who have not let themselves be infected by the massive majority, who think for themselves, or simply look behind the scenes. I like them the way they like me. It gives me comfort when I read something other than bad about myself, but maybe even show up as good in your published fantasies. It is rare, but it happens and there is nothing the others can do about it. They can't give clerks, as they call it here, yes, but they can't destroy the factories - bad luck!
You shouldn't treat me like a saint either, because I'm not. It would be a falsification of my ego, because even if I am a miko, I am only human - albeit an imaginary figure - and therefore as imperfect as everyone else. I hope you understand what I mean, because I do my best as always. Maybe I made one or the other who hates me think, at least moved them to a neutrality and a neutral to see me as good, but maybe not.I don't hold it against anyone, I am difficult to understand, not so easy to see through and I do not play a leading role in this great story of Rumiko. You seldom see me and can therefore judge me worse. It's actually quite difficult and I thank those who took the trouble.
As a small thank you for my writer, I would like to say something about her fantasies. Schalmali took the trouble to portray me as I am in a fan fiction and that as one of the main roles. This story is called: "Light and dark on the hunt." You can see me there as bad if you hate me, but at least you, my fans, will surely recognize the necessity in my actions, as you already do Original did. I hope you enjoy whatever you do next. I don't just mean my fans, but also those who hate me or only tolerate me. Not everyone may understand that, but why should I wish one of you something bad?I do not want to take revenge on your freely expressible opinion. I am a tolerant person, otherwise I would certainly never have fallen in love with Inuyasha. Sometimes I find it difficult to ignore your hatreds, even if I'm used to it, but well, let's leave that. Back to my last words: "Have fun!"
END
_________
Well that was the one shot. While in my opinion I stuck to Kikyou in the first and second chapters, things worked a little worse in this third and last chapter. There's a bigger piece of my own opinion in it, even if I've tried to stick with Kikyou; but there is no clue what she would think of us today, hence this possible falsification. Also sorry for the self-promotion, somehow I couldn't help it, because Kikyou is rarely assigned a leading role and through this one-shot, maybe a few fans can get there.Finally, a big thank you for all readers and especially to the commentators of this one-shot, I hope you enjoyed it.