A well-known song by Genisis, but I used it in the German translation

Of course, Snape still doesn't belong to me and I don't get any money for him either. ;)
And besides, I have to say that I don't think Snape would act like that, but so be it. Oh yes, I think Severus has just finished school at this point, around 18 for the middle part and then maybe 25.

Maybe I'll get a couple of clerks, I'd be very happy.
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My will to survive
There was never any doubt
The question was how do I stay strong
And could find a way out.

It was never easy for me
Inner peace was hard to find
And I needed a place to hide
Somewhere where I could be to myself

It had never been easy for me as an unwanted child, in a family that made no secret of the fact that it would be better if I didn't exist.I used to think that at least my mother was interested in me and showed me something like the warmth of her heart. That was a big mistake, because soon I had to learn to understand that her attentiveness rationally decreased with my age. Or maybe it was my father who had forbidden her to leave her with me. Today I can't say that anymore, it all seems too long ago.
As they started arguing more and more, I started not being home too often. A park with an adjoining play park was the area in which I roamed and it soon became my favorite pastime to watch strangers. My special attention at the time was especially the beautiful Lily Evans and her sister, it even happened that I gave up my safe cover to talk to her, especially when I found out she was a witch. Something in me always knew that we were alike at least in our magical abilities.For this reason too, the park was my refuge back then. I could hardly believe my luck when I was finally allowed to go to Hogwarts to irrevocably get rid of what my family complained about.

[i]I didn't think much of it
Until it started to happen all the time
Soon I was constantly living with fear
What could happen in the night

I couldn't take it anymore
My mother's screams
And I remember as
I swore that
The last will be what they would ever see of me
And I never came back home

I had to spend the summer holidays in my parents' house. My mother had succumbed to the booze and imaginatively painted beautiful pictures that only existed in her inner eye. The change in my father was harder to see, but no doubt he had changed. While he used to be roaring across from his wife or me and succumbing to fits of rage, he was now more brutal and easily irritable.I felt it on the first day of my first summer vacation. At that time I couldn't say what I had done, today I know that he was only looking for excuses to discharge his aggressions. There may be some truth in it that I didn't take it seriously after that first time, but it started to happen more often, almost every day. I wanted to leave the house to be safe at least during the day and it still sounds in my ear today like my mother speaks to me: Don't go Severus, I'm scared. When you're not there, he hits me. "Back then there was that spark of heroism in me that kept me from leaving, so I spent all of my free time at home and became the open target of my father. I couldn't take it the summer before my fourth year. I remember just like they had quarreled and I intervened out of concern for one of the few people who were dear to me. It was pain that I would never forget, no not the beatings of my father, but the crying of my mother who did not intervene he was only afraid that after me he would apply his potential to her.It took some time before I was ready to get up and I opened the door and walked as fast as I could and without looking around once. I didn't know if she would survive as the only victim of the man she had chosen for herself, but I didn't come back anyway.

[i]They say: "Time heals all wounds"
And now my wounds are no longer the same
I rang the doorbell with my heart on my tongue
I had to hear what he had to say

Now I stand here in front of the place where I had to eke out my forever lost childhood. Something inside of me says, “Don't go in, it will be cruel.” Because even in the front yard I could see that my mother was no longer alive. Everything was wild and overgrown and even the curtains on the few windows were worn and deep down I knew that she would never have let it go that far. "I have to try." I whisper to myself to muster up the courage to ring the bell.He opens the door and looked at me in surprise. He had gained weight and his clothes made an even more filthy impression than in the years before. His astonishment can be seen more and more clearly in his eyes the longer we stand here, he was never a great actor.

[i]He asked me to sit down to talk to me
He looked me straight in the eye
He said:
You are not my son anymore
You are not my son anymore
You went away and left us behind
And you are no longer my son

Nothing had changed since I left. Everything is in its place, it's just more unsightly than before. He asks me a place and I think relieved that everything will be fine. But I make a mistake, because it has already built up in front of me, just like before. He doesn't seem to care that I'm bigger than him now and I feel like I'm just 13 years old. He fixes his gaze on me and he sounds to me as if he wasn't even there: "You are no longer my son, disappear and never come back.You destroyed everything we built, your mother took her own life after you left. "Without listening to him further, I flee a second time from my father, someone who should really love me unconditionally.

[i]Oh his words, how they hurt me, I'll never forget
And as time went by, I lived to regret it

You are not my son anymore
But where should I go
And what should I do
You are not my son anymore
But I came here
To ask for help, I came
Here for you

His words still echo in my head and I quicken my pace. There is nothing left to go back to. I will join the dark lord that evening. Muggles are not worth living or trusting them, my Muggle father gave me that on my further journey. I'll show you all. There is hardly anything that can be stolen from such a deserted planet and yet I will grab this little bit if I have to.You will all be mine and will pay homage to me like Voldemort did.

So the years went by
Slowly over
I thought every day
To him
What would i do
When we meet on the street
I would keep running away

In and out of all hiding places
Soon I had to face the facts
We'd have to sit down and talk about it
And that would mean going back

In the meantime I'm on the other side, I had to painfully realize that you can't grab everything. Did life have the same lesson for my father and me? Has he understood by now? An owl is delivering a letter to me and this part of my life must also show its shadow. It says in scrawly script that he's gone. Now I can no longer hate him without regrets, we have never reconciled and yet I hope that he is better where he is now. I have to force myself to his funeral and yet I am here, the only one who mourns you."Is that how you imagined it? A shameful son and no one but him to be with you on your final journey." my thoughts threaten to destroy me.

[i]They say: "Time heals all wounds"
And now my wounds are no longer the same
I rang the doorbell with my heart on my tongue
I had to hear what he had to say

He asked me to take a seat
He looked me straight in the eye
He said: ...

That night this everlasting nightmare comes into my mind - my last visit to him. Bathed in sweat, I startle and try to visualize today's events. I have concluded that this fantasy will be my guest for the last time today. While I try to get a clear thought, his voice booms in my ear as if it was only yesterday:

You are no longer my son ...