Big break.
I stand trembling in a corner of the school yard.
My forehead is bleeding.
They stand around me and grin.
"Ooh, did we hurt you?" Asks one of them.
Laughter.

Breathe in right away,
Nothing seems to fill this place
I need this every time
Take your lies get off my case
Some day I will find
A love that flows through me like this
This will fall away,
This will fall away

I don't say anything, just stare at the floor in silence
"Are you speechless?"
I feel the pain as it hits me in the stomach.
I buckle, spit blood.
"How pathetic!"
They laugh and go, leaving me hurt and bleeding.

[i]You're getting closer,
To push me off of life's little edge
'Cause I'm a loser
And sooner or later you know I'll be dead
You're getting closer,
You're holding the rope and I'm taking the fall
'Cause I'm a loser,
I'm a loser!

I'm dragging myself home
My head hurts and my ribs hurt everybody
Step.
It has been going on for two years now.
Everyone at school annoys me.
It's not uncommon for me to be beaten up during the break.
When the teachers see this, they turn their heads and move on.
You ignore me.
I open the front door.
My father is in the hallway.
"You're late again!" He calls out to me.
He has drunk again, he sways slightly and leans against the wall.
"And in what kind of state do you actually come under my eyes?"
He stumbles towards me and hits me in the face.
"Defend yourself, you loser!" He roars.

This is getting old,
I can't break these chains that I hold
My body's growing cold,
There's nothing left of this mind or my soul
Addiction needs a pacifier,
The buzz of this poison is taking me higher
This will fall away,
This will fall away

I duck under his blows and run to my room.
After locking the door, I go to the closet and take out my first aid kit.As I take care of my wounds, I look at the calendar.
It is the 31st of October
My birthday.
Tears well up inside of me, pouring down my face.

[i]You're getting closer,
To push me off of life's little edge
'Cause I'm a loser
And sooner or later you know I'll be dead
You're getting closer,
You're holding the rope and I'm taking the fall
'Cause I'm a loser,
I'm a loser!

I can not take it anymore.
After my mother died, my father became an alcoholic.
He torments and humiliates me wherever he can.
In his intoxication he often doesn't even notice me.
To him, I'm just a worthless pile of dirt.
He didn't even remember my birthday.

You're getting closer,
To push me off of life's little edge
'Cause I'm a loser
And sooner or later you know I'll be dead
You're getting closer,
You're holding the rope and I'm taking the fall
'Cause I'm a loser,
I'm a loser!

I decide to finally put an end to this.
I run into the bathroom, open the bathroom cabinet.
Take one of my razor blades.
Pull up the sleeve of my sweater and pause for a moment.
My arm is covered in scars, many of which have not even healed.
I put on the razor blade.
The metal feels cold on my skin.
It's right, I tell myself.
Nobody will miss me.
Not my father, who is just sad about my death because he'll have to get his alcohol himself.
And neither do my classmates.
I will take away your most beautiful toy, but you will surely find a new one.
I take another deep breath and close my eyes.
Then I slowly pull the razor blade along my wrist.
Then again across.

You're getting closer,
To push me off of life's little edge
'Cause I'm a loser
And sooner or later you know I'll be dead
You're getting closer,
You're holding the rope and I'm taking the fall
'Cause I'm a loser,I'm a loser!

I open my eyes.
The blood runs out of the wound and drips onto the floor into a dark red puddle.
My breath is getting weaker.
So that's it I guess.
And then again: it was right.
A smile falls on my face.
The first in two years.
I breathe out one last time.
It was right like that.
Then my eyes go black.