//The living. They say one should be happy that one is alive. And that life was given to you.
But, is this really the truth? Can you really just say that life is something beautiful? After all, you want to be asked about every decision that is made and affects you. Why does nobody ask us if we want to live? And why do so many claim that life is something wonderful after all, knowing full well that it is not true. There is a lot of suffering in this world. Even if this is not so clearly noticeable in our society. But there is also song and misery on our streets. It is not physical suffering that those affected complain. No, it is a sorrow that sits very deep in all of our souls and it seems like it is just waiting for something to happen in our life so that it can pound down on you with full force. It's strange how many people have to endure this day every day. Waking up every morning to find out how shitty you are is not that easy.
Wounds inflicted on his body, yes, they heal over time. But what about those who destroyed everything, but also everything beneath the surface?
It is said that time heals all wounds. But is that also the case in reality? Hmmh. Maybe, but even if so, very, very deep scars always remain. And this cannot be healed in time. They will haunt you for a lifetime. And whenever you believe that you have processed it and that these experiences will never catch up with you again, yes, always then and precisely then, something happens that nobody expected.
And then ... yes then the time has come Old scars irritate and you seem to bleed to death inside.
Nobody will see it. Nobody will offer you their help. And it won't have been anyone ...
Everyone will turn away and still others will try to find out where your problems are ... The question arises, why do they do this when they are otherwise relatively indifferent to you.Well, I don't remember who said it, but what he said is absolutely true! He said that nobody does anything out of selflessness. Even if it seems like it. So it's not the reason, but rather the need to feel good about yourself. Because when a "friend" suffers, he suffers too. And who wants that?! So you try to help wherever you can, so that you feel better yourself.
Yes, we humans are funny. Selfish. Egocentric. Maybe just stupid ...

Yes i lost Like every time in my life until now. I don't know why it's always like this. But there must also be people like me in our society ... people who are always the "black sheep" and who always emerge from the great battle as losers. But why does there have to be people like me at all? Just so that others can see how bad I am and they can feel better about themselves afterwards, because they realize that there are individuals in this country who are even worse off than they are?

Is that the meaning of such a life? Should he really be THAT?
No! I can not believe that! I do not want to believe it! There has to be another way ...
But how? ... how only ...
It couldn't have been ...

Oh Kai. How miserable you must feel After all that has happened. I'm glad I have you and I think you feel the same way.
Often I have to think back to your past, to what you have told me ... "Normal" people like me, they can hardly imagine what you went through ... How often they like you were lying awake and thinking about just that ...
But you are strong And you managed to break out of this vicious circle ... //
Ray turned to Kai and whispered, "Kai, I love you!"
"I love you too!"
...
"What's the matter with you? You look so thoughtful!""Oh ... it's nothing Kai ..."
"It doesn't look like" nothing "to me ..."
"Well, I was just thinking about how we will be in a few years ..."
"Hmmh ... And? What did you imagine?"
"Nothing special ... just lead a normal life and have some fun ... actually not more ..."
"Well, that's nice. But when I look at you, my darling, I'm sure it will turn out like that!"
With this, Kai turned to Ray, kissed him, snuggled close to him and fell asleep shortly afterwards.

// Well, and that's also a strange quirk of us humans ... We lie without thinking about what happens when the partner, or a friend, learns the truth ...
Hmmh, but that's how it should be ...
Yes, we humans are strange. And our lives don't always go the way we imagine. But it seems to be what keeps us alive! Our curiosity about what's to come ... //