Translation
June
June
June
* June *
She first met him in June when the summer festival games started and their meeting was the fulfillment of her life. His name was Ion, at least on this day, and as Ion she always kept him in her heart, just as she always remained to him just June, the woman he had met in the month of the same name. But he never forgot her because he couldn't, he never had the opportunity to do so.
And he knew exactly why.
The thought of this woman seldom left him, as seldom as the feeling that she was around and watching him. Sometimes he met her, as if by pure chance, in a café where he was getting something to drink to get through the day. But he only saw her briefly, as if she were a shadow, as if she were his shadow. He felt their eyes rest on him every day and his heart pounded at the knowledge that the woman who had just crossed the street behind him, that this woman could have been her.
How could that have happened to him, of all people.
It was just a few harmless hours they had spent on that damn hay wagon, far from the hustle and bustle to have their peace. They had only talked and he might have gotten a little closer to her than he wanted, but what could he do about it? He had told her that he was sorry, that he didn't want to hurt her, and that it was all just by accident. He had tried to explain to her that you shouldn't rush anything, because even if these hours were special, they were only moments of weakness that you might keep in your heart but not deepen.
Those were his words, and he knew they weren't the right choice because he hurt her. He saw it in her eyes, those beautiful green eyes that were slowly filling with tears. He saw it all over her body, so delicate and fragile that he was afraid for her when she began to tremble. And then he couldn't help himself. He took her in his arms again, hugged her and tried to talk to her soothingly.
But he didn't see the smile that had crept quietly onto her lips.
Her tears were real, even the trembling of her body was not played, because when he told her that she was nothing more than a moment for him, she had the feeling that her world was slowly falling apart. Even though she had only recently known him at the festival, had only spent a few hours with him, she loved him.
She loved him so much that her heart beat faster when their eyes met for the first time and still knew, even after a year of waiting patiently in the background and watching him what his lips felt, how it felt to kiss him. She knew his smell, but every night she smelled his slightly sweet aftershave in her dreams. She knew the taste of his sweat, she had internalized it when they made love in that hay wagon and ran the tip of her tongue gently but demandingly over his neck.She knew everything about him, not just what she'd found out about him last summer, but also the little things he hadn't told her.
She knew which coffee he drank in the morning and which bottle of wine he opened in the evening. She knew that he would rather order food from the nearest Italian than cook himself, and she knew that he would wake up regularly at night, sweat it seemed to her and look around confusedly to the right and left, only to be exhausted again on his bed to sink and sleep restlessly.
How much she then always wished to be with him, to lay him gently in her arms to be there for him, and to give him the feeling of security. The same feeling that she always felt when she sat in her apartment, at the window with a direct view of his room and watched him with the binoculars.
Security, even over this distance he gave her this feeling, the feeling that everything was okay and he was there for her.
Even if she couldn't always be with him, or didn't live with him and couldn't listen to his voice every day, she knew that he loved her, he just had to love her, nothing else was just out of the question. Something else would destroy her, would destroy everything she had created for him, would destroy the perfect world of him and her, in which she had lived with him for almost a year now.
But all of that was about to change. She knew it, felt it, realized that he was finally ready to admit his love for her and finally to take her to himself, to marry her and to start a family.
Her heart beat faster at the thought. A real family of her own with the man she loved. A child who played with the dog in the garden. Her lover, who was standing behind her, arms wrapped around her body, his head leaning against hers and looking happily at her child to notice how much he loved this little family that he now had with her.
She wished that, she wished from the first moment she had experienced with him and she had done everything, done everything for him, so that this wish would soon come true.
Happily, she leaned forward and looked through her binoculars, peered into his apartment and watched him lean back in his large armchair and relax.
Tomorrow would finally be the day of the festival again, the day when she will get him to finally admit it to himself that she is the only one he loves and would always love.
It was hot.
She sat alone in the place to which she had withdrawn with him a year ago and waited, waited for her lover, but he did not come. Still she waited.
She had already been here for a few hours, had even toyed with the idea of looking for him because he might have gotten lost, but she didn't dare.The fear of missing him if she went was just too great to just get up and run across the grounds.
Had he not read her letter or did he simply not have the time and could not refuse her?
She didn't know and the uncertainty stirred up the fear in her, the fear that something might have happened to him on the way here, because she was not there and was taking care of him.
Tears gathered in her eyes and her body started shaking again.
How could she be so selfish and just leave her husband alone in this big city? He was usually so confused and ran in the wrong direction, or allowed himself to be distracted by things and therefore did not pay attention to whether he was able to cross this street or not.
Why did she just want to surprise him, he was content to just know that she was there, close to him, to always protect him. Why hadn't she just left it at that !?
A noise tore her from her thoughts and only now did she notice that her cheek was wet from her tears. She swallowed hard, wiped her cheek and tried to smile. He would have to come soon to tell her that he loved her, she knew that he would come soon, because her lover was always on time.
He was always on time.
Only not on this day.
-End-
© Josephine Grzechnik
She first met him in June when the summer festival games started and their meeting was the fulfillment of her life. His name was Ion, at least on this day, and as Ion she always kept him in her heart, just as she always remained to him just June, the woman he had met in the month of the same name. But he never forgot her because he couldn't, he never had the opportunity to do so.
And he knew exactly why.
The thought of this woman seldom left him, as seldom as the feeling that she was around and watching him. Sometimes he met her, as if by pure chance, in a café where he was getting something to drink to get through the day. But he only saw her briefly, as if she were a shadow, as if she were his shadow. He felt their eyes rest on him every day and his heart pounded at the knowledge that the woman who had just crossed the street behind him, that this woman could have been her.
How could that have happened to him, of all people.
It was just a few harmless hours they had spent on that damn hay wagon, far from the hustle and bustle to have their peace. They had only talked and he might have gotten a little closer to her than he wanted, but what could he do about it? He had told her that he was sorry, that he didn't want to hurt her, and that it was all just by accident. He had tried to explain to her that you shouldn't rush anything, because even if these hours were special, they were only moments of weakness that you might keep in your heart but not deepen.
Those were his words, and he knew they weren't the right choice because he hurt her. He saw it in her eyes, those beautiful green eyes that were slowly filling with tears. He saw it all over her body, so delicate and fragile that he was afraid for her when she began to tremble. And then he couldn't help himself. He took her in his arms again, hugged her and tried to talk to her soothingly.
But he didn't see the smile that had crept quietly onto her lips.
Her tears were real, even the trembling of her body was not played, because when he told her that she was nothing more than a moment for him, she had the feeling that her world was slowly falling apart. Even though she had only recently known him at the festival, had only spent a few hours with him, she loved him.
She loved him so much that her heart beat faster when their eyes met for the first time and still knew, even after a year of waiting patiently in the background and watching him what his lips felt, how it felt to kiss him. She knew his smell, but every night she smelled his slightly sweet aftershave in her dreams. She knew the taste of his sweat, she had internalized it when they made love in that hay wagon and ran the tip of her tongue gently but demandingly over his neck.She knew everything about him, not just what she'd found out about him last summer, but also the little things he hadn't told her.
She knew which coffee he drank in the morning and which bottle of wine he opened in the evening. She knew that he would rather order food from the nearest Italian than cook himself, and she knew that he would wake up regularly at night, sweat it seemed to her and look around confusedly to the right and left, only to be exhausted again on his bed to sink and sleep restlessly.
How much she then always wished to be with him, to lay him gently in her arms to be there for him, and to give him the feeling of security. The same feeling that she always felt when she sat in her apartment, at the window with a direct view of his room and watched him with the binoculars.
Security, even over this distance he gave her this feeling, the feeling that everything was okay and he was there for her.
Even if she couldn't always be with him, or didn't live with him and couldn't listen to his voice every day, she knew that he loved her, he just had to love her, nothing else was just out of the question. Something else would destroy her, would destroy everything she had created for him, would destroy the perfect world of him and her, in which she had lived with him for almost a year now.
But all of that was about to change. She knew it, felt it, realized that he was finally ready to admit his love for her and finally to take her to himself, to marry her and to start a family.
Her heart beat faster at the thought. A real family of her own with the man she loved. A child who played with the dog in the garden. Her lover, who was standing behind her, arms wrapped around her body, his head leaning against hers and looking happily at her child to notice how much he loved this little family that he now had with her.
She wished that, she wished from the first moment she had experienced with him and she had done everything, done everything for him, so that this wish would soon come true.
Happily, she leaned forward and looked through her binoculars, peered into his apartment and watched him lean back in his large armchair and relax.
Tomorrow would finally be the day of the festival again, the day when she will get him to finally admit it to himself that she is the only one he loves and would always love.
It was hot.
She sat alone in the place to which she had withdrawn with him a year ago and waited, waited for her lover, but he did not come. Still she waited.
She had already been here for a few hours, had even toyed with the idea of looking for him because he might have gotten lost, but she didn't dare.The fear of missing him if she went was just too great to just get up and run across the grounds.
Had he not read her letter or did he simply not have the time and could not refuse her?
She didn't know and the uncertainty stirred up the fear in her, the fear that something might have happened to him on the way here, because she was not there and was taking care of him.
Tears gathered in her eyes and her body started shaking again.
How could she be so selfish and just leave her husband alone in this big city? He was usually so confused and ran in the wrong direction, or allowed himself to be distracted by things and therefore did not pay attention to whether he was able to cross this street or not.
Why did she just want to surprise him, he was content to just know that she was there, close to him, to always protect him. Why hadn't she just left it at that !?
A noise tore her from her thoughts and only now did she notice that her cheek was wet from her tears. She swallowed hard, wiped her cheek and tried to smile. He would have to come soon to tell her that he loved her, she knew that he would come soon, because her lover was always on time.
He was always on time.
Only not on this day.
-End-
© Josephine Grzechnik