I'm such a selfish word

I'm starting to feel like I'm just wandering around in the dark. I don't see a light that heralds the end.
Not so long ago I hated people who just drowned in self-pity and talked to others about their problems without paying attention to how the person concerned was doing.
I was always one of those who listened and was there when they were needed. But when did someone listen to me? I can not remember.
Always listening to the problems of others and being overheard myself, at some point I didn't feel like it anymore. I have always eaten my own problems and my true feelings into myself and only let them run free when I was alone. But I can't hold it back any longer, I would like to stand on the street and scream everything out into the night.
I think that with my “real me” I would hurt a lot of people who are actually important to me, and I don't want that.
As you can see, I am moving in a circle, a circle from which I simply cannot find an escape without harming myself or others.
I am afraid of it.