My life has never really been anything special except for the fact that my parents owned a lot and were also very famous. As a little girl I was always protected. I was my parents' most precious treasure. But life can change in one fell swoop, as I saw firsthand.

I had just turned 16 when I had to fly with my parents from Germany to Japan, my father's home country. We flew in a passenger plane, 1 class, but it didn't bother me. I slept comfortably next to my mother the whole time on the flight. When the lights went out, I widened my eyes to hear people screaming in panic and screaming in panic. I got up automatically and wanted to find my parents. I felt my way back into the plane, where I kept bumping into other passengers. Again and again I called my parents' names with the hope that they would hear and find me in the confusion of voices. Suddenly there was a loud bang, the panic grew bigger and bigger, everyone was screaming at each other. Everything sounded like a single scream of panic, no matter how much I wanted to keep the voices apart, it didn't work, I couldn't hear my parents' voices. Then I only felt the plane crash down in a dive.
A passenger shouted that he could see Tokyo and everyone ran to the windows.
It was just bad, I was holding onto an empty seat when a hand grabbed me from behind and hugged me tightly. When I looked up I saw my mother's tearful face. She wanted to share something with me but through the growing screams of the crowd I could only see her lip movements. My mother's tortured face made tears well up in my eyes. I clung to her. A strong impact threw us through the machine. My head hit the floor and I passed out. I can't say exactly how long I was unconscious, but I felt something cold land on my skin. It gave me goose bumps and then it got wet. This ran down my cheek. I felt like it was telling me to wake up. At the same time, I didn't know what to do then, but I still opened my eyes. At first I saw flickering outlines, so I had to close my eyes again to open them again. The more I realized, the more my eyes widened. I didn't want to believe what I saw, I couldn't believe it. Burning aircraft parts and lifeless bodies of passengers lay everywhere. If it was true the bang would have been an explosion. I looked around to confirm this. At a short distance I saw a body I knew. A pool of blood around the person. And snow around me.White snow that only slowly turned pink with blood. The cool thing that brought me out of unconsciousness. Only now did I realize that it was snowing, but I didn't even notice the shaking and the cold that drew warmth from my body. Now it was important for me to come to the person who looked like my mother. I tried to straighten up, but my legs failed. They were powerless, and every effort hurt me like hell, maybe they were broken or just cracked, but I still wanted to go to this body in the pool of blood. I had no choice but to drag myself there. Like a seal, I crawled towards the body. The closer I got, the more tears welled up in me. The snow below me was also getting redder. But I wanted even closer. When I got to the body, I couldn't see much through the stream of tears, so I slapped myself to calm myself down. It worked but what I had suppressed occurred. It was my mother's body. She had a large gaping wound on her stomach, probably caused by a part of an airplane. I sat even closer to my mother's dead body. Kneeled down even though it was pure agony for me, I sat like this. I took my upper body in my arms and cried, screamed for help and kept looking in all directions.
When my voice began to fail is unclear, it was just the need to scream, just to scream for help. My tears were also slowly running dry but the need was still there. Now I sat there with my mother's dead body and hoped for help, help that came too late for her. My body got weaker and weaker and the cold pulled me through.
It was freezing cold and I no longer had the strength to maintain consciousness. My body fell into the blood-red soaked snow, where I lay helpless, hoping for help.
My thoughts slipped into my carefree childhood which I enjoyed when I came to consciousness through shouts.
The voice belonged to a rescue team, I straightened up again, but when I looked down my clothes were soaked with snow water and blood.
I tried to scream, my mouth was open, but no loud came out. I wanted a different part of me, didn't want to, because when I needed help nobody heard me, why should someone hear me now and come here. With the last of my strength I threw a stone against an airplane tailcoat and hoped that they heard the sound. But the calls got louder and louder, and the people came closer and closer. Finally someone was here who could help me and my mother. As soon as they saw me, they immediately ran up to me, examined me and tried to get away from my mother's lifeless body, but I held on to her. I didn't want to leave her here, I wanted to stay with her. Nevertheless, the strength in my arms and hands was no longer enough and so I left it.They put me in a thermal sheet and then laid me on a bed. A little later the rescue helicopter came and took me to a nearby hospital. On the flight I was examined and it was found that I had lost my voice due to the shock. I had lost my mind, I actually wanted to die too, but they came and on one side I was glad because they tell me that nothing had happened to my father. But it would be different with my voice, they guessed that I had lost them forever. When I arrived at the hospital, I was examined again and then taken to one of the rooms. There was a lot of activity in the hallway and then loud shouts, my father's voice asking about my mother, he kept asking about my mother, but what about me, he didn't care, I was so unimportant to him. What did I mean to him? No answers, no one could answer me. When the door opened, I saw lifeless, non-attached eyes that pierced me, blaming me for something, but for what I didn't know. My father came over to my bed. Why, why are you alive and she not? , he asked me the question, why did you survive and she didn't ... His words were so hurtful that silent tears ran down my cheeks, down over my chin and finally land on the back of my hand. Why did he do that, why did he blame me for that? Wasn't he glad that his only daughter had survived, did he want me to die too? Did he really want to lose me? Was that what he wanted, I couldn't explain it to myself. At that moment a world collapsed for me. My world, I no longer saw any meaning and when my tears became more, he reached out and struck. Without taking another look at me, he left the room. He hadn't visited me since then, my father's advisor kept coming to check on me, but no trace of my father. He didn't care about me. What was a dumb daughter worth to him?
A few months passed when something happened to me again. Because my father didn't care, I was kidnapped again and again, but my father never reacted to it, so I was always left somewhere until the police found me distraught. They didn't even ask me, but took me home immediately, dropped me there, waited until I was in the house and drove away. Nobody knew what was going on in the house.

My father was very different since the day of the crash, he hit me and said I should take better care or it was my fault that I was kidnapped. And again and again he says why are you alive and not her.
And every time loud, loose tears roll down my face. Nothing has changed. It's been like this for two years and he still doesn't care. Now I'm already studying and still don't get any recognition. I don't have many friends either, I don't have any because nobody wants to be friends with someone like me.It's not easy, I want to die again and again, but a part of me believes that my father will end it. Every night I dream of the day how it all happened. Every night I cry myself to sleep to get up in the morning with empty and lifeless eyes and go to university. It's just bleak and hopeless ...
But one of my father's servants said I should never give up hope because everything can change, maybe, maybe not. I just let it happen, if I die then so should it and if I am ignored then so will.