I looked at her.
How it lay so inconspicuous and harmless in my hand.
This one razor blade. An underestimated item in everyday life.
In the past, such a small object was unimportant to me. I always wanted a big house, a huge flat screen TV, wickedly expensive cell phones ...
Everything overrated.
All I needed now was this razor blade.
As I sat here in the bathroom, a lot of thoughts went through my head.
Shouldn't a razor blade be as banned as a pistol? In the best case scenario, I would not need more than 5 seconds to fatally injure another person.
It's funny.
What would my parents say if I didn't open the door for them tomorrow when they came for their weekly coffee? Would you worry?
Well, that would be the first time they did this.
I put the blade on slowly. The metal felt terrifyingly cold. Goosebumps formed on my skin, my heart beat faster.
The flicker of the bathroom lamp threw me out of my mind.
Was I really ready to do this? Is that what I really wanted
I put the razor down again and placed it next to me on the tiles, which were also cold. It was getting late. The light shine of the moon through the small angular window across from me.
Frosted glass.
Wasn't the whole of life somewhat like a pane of frosted glass?
You could only vaguely see what was going to happen, but you couldn't see every little detail.
Again my gaze slid to the razor blade.
Did I have a choice? He expected it from me.
I reached for the blade, strongly convinced that I really would do it this time.
Slowly the blade approached my skin. I looked back over the events of the past few weeks.
Yes, I was sure. That was what I wanted.
When the blade touched my skin I shivered again, but this time I didn't slow down and let the razor slide slowly over my skin. It was a liberating feeling. I wouldn't back down anymore.
Inch by inch, I ran the blade over my leg.
I would like him so much.
I continued looking at the red dress on the bathroom door.
I would like him so much