Knowledge
You want to know why I didn't say anything, why I lied.
You want to know how long I wanted to keep this fake smile, the feigned happiness going.
Why didn't I say that I'm doing badly.
The answer is simple. If I had told you what would you have done? You can't help me, but you would have tormented yourself through my grief with me.
But I didn't want that. I am a cruel egoist, I told you.
You didn't understand that. You said I wasn't selfish, I just wanted to protect you, but that's not true.
I wanted to protect myself, the happy moments that we shared. Didn't want to destroy them by doing this. And it's cruel to let you experience it like that.
Whenever you wanted to get closer to me, get to know me, I pushed you away. Trying to protect my insides, to hide.
When I couldn't push you away anymore, I created a mask just for you.
Its only purpose was to lie to you and to cover myself up like that.
But now you recognize the real me, my twisted, dark soul. You say you don't mind, but I feel different.
For a moment I was careless, there you have mine. Shield overcome, my mask broken. You now know more than anyone.
Forgive me, but I can't.
It wasn't your fault, the problem is with me.
And that's why I'll go.
Believe me, it's for the best. Just as it is best not to reveal more of me to you.
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Huhu from Portugal.
Since I can't get anything done, there is only a Mini OS (again).
And I'm afraid it is again pointless and difficult to understand ...
I blame it on the sun ...
bye Bye