[i]Why is it so incredibly difficult to get your life right? Why can't everything always run smoothly, why are there always these complications? I've been asking myself this question for a long time. It's Lana Green that girls have always had a problem socializing, because whenever I started liking someone it was an unbelievable disaster and I wanted everything to be undone. Because the love and affection I showed the people around me never, really never came back. I always have an open ear and I have never turned away, annoyed or ignored someone. No, I was never angry either, I couldn't be angry with anyone, that just didn't suit me. But soon everything should change, because this story is not about me alone, no this story is about me and my friends that I will find and also exactly these friends show me what life really means, what it means to be me. They taught me to live my life and not to let go of it. It all started on the day my hated stepfather drove me to school because I had missed the bus, as always I was allowed to be bullied and listen to his screams, but I hadn't even listened to him anymore. As always, I let it pass over me and got out without saying a word, my steps, as always, led me somewhat reluctantly into the large, newfangled school building where the students were just waiting to stare at me with their disdainful looks, maybe it was just about Felt like that for me but every day was an agony for me and I was incredibly happy not to have to see all the faces for 6 weeks and to hear the words they threw at my head. With this thought, the day went by in a flash and the school bells rang. As always, I was the last one to leave the classroom and struggle with a heavy step to the train, because I didn't want to go home either. There I get pissed off again and what goes with it. But despite my reluctance, I had to go home, because that's where I had to do my work. Maybe I should explain to you why I have such an incredible dislike for my mother and my stepfather. My father died shortly before my 10th birthday and since then everything had changed for me. In the past he was always there for me, reading stories to me and drying my tears when I cried. My mother, on the other hand, was never interested in me, the feeling that she didn't give me that gave me my father, he was my role model and I wanted to grow up with him. But he died of cancer, he had never told me anything about it, never had he just said a word about it until he had passed away. My feelings had gone crazy at that time, I no longer knew what to do. I often cried without talking to anyone about it, despite my unbelievable sadness by smiling just not having to worry about anyone, even though nobody would have worried anyway, especially not my mother, who can with the next one after a few months, my stepfather .From the first moment I couldn't smell him, and neither could he, but my mother preferred her boyfriend to her daughter. That's how I grew up, and from a young age I had taken on responsibility for a lot. I washed the laundry, the dishes and had tidied up and for what I did I never heard a thank you. I'm 16 years old now and fed up with everyone here. Most of the day I escape into my own world that I had built up over the years. Whenever I closed my eyelids I was in a different place, when I looked up at the sky a lot, I was in a different place. I cut myself off and I didn't have any friends, which quickly made me an outsider. But I never gave up, but now I had reached the border. Every day I was tired, I didn't feel like doing anything anymore, I was hardly ever seen. I was even too sluggish to eat something, I was happier alone, at least that's what I thought. On the day my mother told me I should go to boarding school, the world collapsed for me on one side and I was really happy on the other. A boarding school, a place where a lot of people live and meet each other, I wasn't good with people, I didn't know if anyone there would even like me, if they would accept me there as I am. The thought of being rejected and hated by everyone again gave me an incredible stomach ache. On the other hand, I'm finally getting away from here, away from my family and away from this terrible school. In a week it will be so far, in a week I will start my journey. It can only get better, this thought accompanied the girl for the last few days.