So, now in between a little kidding to laugh at (I hope so)


____________________________________


TRUNKS KUMMER TELEPHONE FOR DESPERATE STUDENTS




First caller: Hello ???


Trunks: Hello !!! You are connected to Trunks letter from the KFVG (helpline for desperate students). What can I do for you?


Caller: I have to give a presentation at school, but I don't know what can help me get a better grade.


Trunks: It's easy !!! You just follow rule D like diagrams. As wrong as your answers are, a diagram next to it always gives you the better grade, because such a scribble makes it seem as if you have no idea. Above all, diagrams that are completely beside the material are unbeatable, because the teacher then assumes that you have more perspective than he does!




Second caller: Hi!


Trunks: Hello: What can I do for you?


Caller: I am totally dead at math, what can I do ???

Trunks: Well, use rule E like Einstein. Sure, with a chunk like Einstein's theory of relativity you are and will remain on the warrior's feet ... but comfort yourself: The teacher too. So make it easy for yourself in math by whirling up some ridiculous number swindle and drawing the sentence underneath it: "This formula can be proven at any time by using Einstein's simple equation E = Mc2!" He does not see through your game.




Third caller: Hey!


Trunks: Hi! What's your problem


Caller: My teacher thinks I'm too lazy, what can I do to prove him wrong?


Trunks: Rule K is appropriate here as a gasp! There is one thing you cannot avoid: to show that you are at least trying! So when you change rooms or at the end of the break, whip ahead whenever you spot a teacher and drag yourself around with exercise books, books and notes. You can get rid of any teacher with that because he is firmly convinced that if you struggle like that, you can never be a bad student!



Fourth caller: Hello!


Trunks: Tomorrow! What can I do for you?


Caller: How can I improve my grades in general?


Trunks: Now to Rule G for Goethe. You can take poison on that: For a teacher, Goethe is the greatest of all and it stays that way. Therefore: Adore him, love her, mention him - and you will be amazed how your grades go up! Fortunately, Joe-Wolfgang has written so much that you can give him any nonsense as an "original quote" without hesitation. In case of doubt, it is sufficient to say: "Goethe would have said ..."




Fifth caller: Tomorrow!


Trunks: Hello! Where is the problem?


Caller: When doing class work, I often don't know anything, what should I do?


Trunks: Definitely, O for Ochsentour. And if you still have so little idea, it would be a huge mistake to hand in a blank sheet of paper! On the contrary: Write on devil-come-out until the last minute, no matter what nonsense it is!Because the bigger the pile of paper, the less the teacher wants to read it, and the more he prefers to give you a one on the assumption that the correct answers will probably be available somewhere!




Sixth caller: Hi!


Trunks: Hi! What's up?


Caller: Is there any other way to get good grades besides the ox tour?


Trunks: Of course, now rule U like and comes into play. Even if you have no idea, there is still a long way to go before you need to give up. Start with a small "and" at the top of the sheet and add some noncommittal closing phrase. When making corrections, the teacher thinks of course that he has messed up the first pages of your magnificent work in his pigsty - which is why he gives you an A out of sheer feelings of guilt!




Seventh caller: Hello!


Trunks: Hey! What can I do for you?


Caller: What should I do if I already know something but don't know the right answers?

Trunks: In that case, use rule V like blurry !!! If you don't already know the correct answers, it is important not to write anything down that the teacher could mark as a mistake. Therefore, express yourself as vaguely and without obligation as possible: "Dozens and dozen of soldiers fought in World War II!" Or: "The Nibelungenlied was written in an astonishingly early era!"




Eighth caller: Hello!


Trunks: Tomorrow! What's happening?


Caller: What can I impress my teacher with?


Trunks: With rule F like foreign words! Foreign words make a deep impression on a teacher, especially if they don't understand them themselves. So feel free to scribble some kind of spasm like "assumptive geodesy" and "recitular impendance" together. After studying your writing, he is much too tired to search for meaning here and gives the best grades, the more blooming your imagination is!



Ninth caller: Hey!


Trunks: Hello! What can I do for you?


Caller: How can I do better in history or religion?


Trunks: Simple, use C for Christianity !!! The reputation of the youth is so catastrophic that the most primitive hypocrisy is enough to close you as a "better person" in the hearts of the old teachers. So write calmly: “The cause of the peasant wars was that people prayed too little.” Now for the storyteller you are the very last hope for the salvation of the Christian West. And should your historian be a Marxist, then he will be even more careful not to start a row with the Relie teacher and to attract attention unpleasantly with the CDU direx.




10th caller: Hello!


Trunks: Good afternoon. How can I help you?


Caller: What should I do if I have to write a whole page but only know two sentences?


Trunks: Use rule R as in redundancy! This is a new buzzword, but an old school technique.The art of repeating yourself endlessly and turning a speck of clue into an avalanche of alleged facts until the pages are full! Example: "Paris is the capital of France, our neighboring country, a state that borders on Germany and whose metropolis is known to be Paris!"




_________________________________________If you liked it, please comment, if not ... also !!!