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"Hold still! That has to be disinfected! Not that it catches fire! You will be able to endure the few pains!", She says calmly and yet firmly.

"Amputate my whole hand right now!" I hiss at her. Nini doesn't reply, just looks me straight in the eye. Damn it! These eyes! This view! Like a mother rebuking her son! Before I run the risk of sinking into her gaze again, I look away and shake my hand again. In silence, she tinkers with my hand again. Meanwhile, I just stare at the floor and clench my teeth so that I don't cry out in pain.

"So, done! Go!" Says Nini and lets go of my hand. I hold my hand in front of my eyes: A bandage winds between the thumb and forefinger, along the palm of the hand, over the outside of the hand and again through the thumb and forefinger. Always like this. I don't know how many times she did that. The pain is still there, but it has gotten better. I cautiously bend my fingers, but immediately leave it. It hurts too much! Great! I'm right-handed and my right hand is junk right now!



Nini gets up and wants to go.

"Stop! Wait!" I say and jump up. I grab her wrist to hold her. Immediately I grimace. Damn it! Force of habit! Why do I have to use my right hand all the time. Nini turns around and she looks at me in amazement.

"What? You shouldn't use your hand!", She says. Yes, a good question! Why did I hold her? I could have said thank you like that.She doesn't have to face me for that!

"Thank you!" I say and look into her questioning eyes. In the next moment I regret it. Those eyes are really dangerous! A trap! You just won't let go of me! But I don't want to be let go either! Just wanna look into those beautiful blue eyes With these yellow, unique dots. Why can't I resist these eyes? Why can't I tear myself away I know this moment is dangerous! I know that something can happen now that I will regret afterwards! Really? Will i regret it Would I do it if I regretted it afterwards? Or do these eyes make me want something that I don't really want? (want or not want, that's the question ^^ XD)



While I am still thinking, Ninis and my head are getting closer and closer. Once again! But I can't stop it! And deep down, I probably don't want to prevent it either.And this time I can't close my eyes. Can't tear myself away from them. I can feel the warmth of her face. When our lips touch, I feel a tingling sensation in my stomach. And I'm kind of totally happy!



Suddenly our environment changes. We are standing in a large hall. We parted, frightened.

“It's time for your breakfast!” A light stands in front of us. Why do these lights always have to come so suddenly? I don't dare look at Nini and sit down in my seat. During the whole meal I just stare at my plate.



(Tala's sight)



Jenny and I are sitting by the bed. Jenny leaned against me and tells about the conversation between her and this light. I listen carefully to Jenny. But the longer I listen, the more doubts gnaw on me. What if that light is absolutely right? When the truth is right in front of my nose and I still don't see it?But which truth is the right one? Those who tell us these gray lights, or those who tell those bright, all white lights? I dont know. What if both sides are wrong? What if both sides are so blinded by their own truth that they don't realize how wrong they are? What if she found out that neither truth is true? How would these lights behave then? But who or what is the truth? It's the same as in a courtroom. The accused is telling the truth and pleading innocence. But neither the judge nor the jury believe him. It doesn't matter whether the accused is telling the truth or not. The judge and jury believe in their own truths and will not accept any other opinion. You have absolutely no idea what goes on in a person when he speaks the truth and still nobody believes him. And this narrow-minded thinking creates misunderstandings, lies, and pain.



"You can only trust your own truth. And my truth is yours too!" it booms in my head.



Boris taught me the sentence. It burned itself into my memory. Only now do I realize how wrong this sentence was. What a lie is hidden behind what at first seemed to me to be a profound sentence. I don't know the truth yet. So far I've only heard bits and pieces of the truth. But I will not do anything, help anyone, do anything until I know the complete truth.



"And that's exactly what this" feminine "light told me!" Jenny concludes her story and lifts her head off my shoulder.



I look into their eyes. And suddenly I feel warm. Your eyes rest on me, good-natured and kind. I feel how I threaten to go under in her eyes. At the last moment I avert my gaze and let my gaze wander around the room.


"Do you think this light was telling the truth? Do you believe its words?" I ask quietly, but still don't look at Jenny.

"I don't know ..... but why are you asking me that?" I turn my head to Jenny. She looks at me puzzled and questioningly.



"You know ..... even though we are here now, I often think of Kai and Nini. I know that they lied, but my thoughts still revolve around them. I don't know how they are doing, where they are, what they do. They lied to us, that may be true, but Kai was my best friend. And Nini .... yes Nini is very similar to me. Somehow I can't and don't want to believe that you lied to us for no reason I've experienced so much with Kai, got through so much together with him. And we were always there for each other. And at Nini. Yes, she was the first with whom I talked about my past. I really like her. And since I Nini is something like that, I also dare to say that she would never have lied for no reason.You know Jenny, these are all memories of the two of them. And although I despise and loathe them for their lies, they are still a part of me. I can't just erase the memory like that. And if I'm honest, I don't want to either. But these lights tell and so many things, so many things. I just don't know whether I should and want to believe everyone and everything. Of course I will help these lights, just to prove to Kai that I can do it without him, but still ... what this "female" light said ... that raises questions again. Please don't get me wrong now, but somehow I still doubt a little. "I lift my head and look sincerely at Jenny. But somehow I'm afraid of her reaction. What will Jenny say now? I have now told her my thoughts. How will she react? I sit there and look at Jenny. But somehow." she doesn't look happy, but neither angry nor angry.



And then there is silence. Neither of us say anything. I sit still for a while. But after a while this silence becomes unbearable and I get up.



"I'll look around a little!" I say and leave Jenny alone. Is that how I offended her? Did i hurt her? Or have I now made her doubt too? I shake my head and go up a long hall. I have to finally put my thoughts in order. It's time!



(Jenny's point of view)

I sit next to Tala on the bed, lean slightly against him and tell him what the female light said and how the others behaved. When I finish speaking, I look at Tala. He has such beautiful eyes! So many shades of blue. Only blue! No other color. His eyes are so bright. Even though blue is a cold color, his eyes seem so nice and warm! I could look at them for hours! Just sink into it!In this ocean of warmth.



Abruptly, Tala averted his gaze. What has he? Why can't he look me in the eye? Has he screwed up anything?

"Do you think this light was telling the truth? Do you believe his words?" He asks me. I look at him in amazement. How does he come up with it now?

"I don't know ..... but why are you asking me that?" I mean. I absolutely do not know! I don't know which of the many "truths" to believe!

"You know ..... even though we are here now, I often think of Kai and Nini. I know that they lied, but my thoughts still revolve around them," says Tala. Yes I understand! The same thing happened to me! I just can't get those two out of my head. And hate? Not really! I hate her and yet I love her! I never would have thought that something like this was possible, but it is the way it is!

Tala continues: "I don't know how the two are doing, where they are, what they're doing.You lied to us, that may be true, but Kai was my best friend. And Nini .... yes Nini is very similar to me. Somehow I can't and don't want to believe that you lied to us for no reason. I've experienced so much with Kai, endured so much with him. And we were always there for each other. And at Nini. Yes, she was the first I spoke to about my past. I really like them. And since Nini is so similar to me, I also dare to say that she would never have lied for no reason. "I feel a stitch in my heart. It hurts! I also feel anger at Nini. It seems like Tala loves her! Why is that so disappointing? Because I don't think he should forgive her?" />
Tala pulls me out of my thoughts: "Never! You know Jenny, these are all memories of the two of them. And although I despise and detest them for their lies, they are still a part of me. I can't just erase the memory like that .And if I'm honest, I don't want to either. But these lights tell and so many things, so many things. I just don't know whether I should and want to believe everyone and everything. Of course I will help these lights, just to prove to Kai that I can do it without him, but still ... what this "female" light said ... that raises questions again. Please don't get me wrong now, but somehow I still doubt a little. "



I can fully understand Tala! And yet I am sad! Why? Does it have to do with what he said about Nini? Am I jealous? But if that's me, then I should be in