shouts Kai suddenly. I look at him fearfully and puzzled. Somehow I have to keep him from jumping over the cliff. Somehow I have to do it. The cold wind hits my face and makes me shake. The salty smell of the sea." gets up my nose and makes me shudder.

"What does that mean? I don't understand this language! What does that mean?" I ask, since I can't think of anything better in this extreme situation.

"Reality too

Actually isn't really!

Who ever thought this,

how could he think,

that dreams are just dreams? "says Kai. But he's still on the brink.



And suddenly Kai takes this one step.I react immediately and sprint after him. I grab his arm and hold him tight. My fingers cling to his wrist like metal chains. I won't let go of him. No way. And if I fall into the abyss myself. And so we pause for a few seconds. I hold my breath and gather all my strength. Then I slowly pull Kai up. First he braces his upper body on the cliff then his feet. He remains there for a few seconds until he stands on his feet. I jump up and give him two slaps in the face.

"How could you do that?" I scream, completely exhausted. I see silver tears run down Kai's cheeks. I can't anymore and I fall around his neck. And I cry. I notice how Kai hugs me and presses me tight to him. I can feel his heartbeat going too fast. And then all the adrenaline disappears from my body. The tears come by themselves. I bury my head at Kai and close my eyes.All fears have been wiped away. All doubts removed. But why does such a cruel event have to happen before I wake up? Before I realize how important this idiot is to me? Yes, Kai is even more important to me than anything else. More important than my own life. More important than anything and everyone. And now I finally know that it really is love. Nobody needed to tell me. Nobody had to prove it to me. I know it by myself. And you can't choose who you love. Yeah, I love that idiot named Kai!





(Kai's point of view)

Automatically I put bite for bite into my mouth, chew it up and swallow it down. My thoughts are completely elsewhere. I am in chaos. Why? Why did I kiss Nini? Why was I happy with it? What was the dream trying to tell me? I was always raised not to have feelings! And now should I suddenly have some? Do i love nini? Do i really love her Or is it just my genes, my instincts?She is my girlfriend! Yes, that is clearer to me than anything else. But do I LOVE her the way a man and woman love each other? What if not? I don't want to hurt her! When I kissed, I looked into her eyes. And what I saw was love! What if I don't love her What if I just unconsciously play with their feelings?



I dont know! Damn it! I don't know myself! Neither me nor my feelings! And certainly not my soul! Who am I? I'm nobody! A shell, no, a mind! Mind only! I have neither a past nor a future! Isn't it what happened that makes you someone? Isn't it action that makes you a personality? What have I done great? I watched my parents get killed! Yes, I am to blame for her death! I hurt Dranzer! How often? I threatened to kill him if I got Black Dranzer under control! I hurt Tala and so did Jenny!And now? Now I'm hurting Nini!



I always thought I was strong! I thought hate was better than pain! And yet I'm worried about Tala and Jenny! I can't hate her! The only one I hate is myself! Because I don't know myself! Because I can only hurt!



No, I can't look Nini in the eye anymore! Not after what I did to her! She didn't want to be alone! And what did i do? I leave you alone! I hurt her and leave her alone with her pain! I should never have looked in her eyes! I usually have such good control over myself! Why not this time?



My cutlery rattles on the table and gets up so jerkily that the chair tips over. But I'm not interested in any of that! I just start running. Run away Through the door. I don't know where it's going, but I don't care! I just want to leave! Get away from myself! So that I can't hurt anyone anymore!I want to run away from these thoughts too! Before the emotional chaos that reigns in me! Feelings? Are these feelings? Or just instinct?

I just run Up the stairs, through a door, to the right…. I don't pay attention to the way. My legs run automatically. Take every hurdle without having to pay attention to it. Tears run down my cheeks. My tears? No! The tears of the people I've hurt! I am nothing! I can't cry and shed tears! It's the others who cry inside of me!



My hand is clutching a large, cold doorknob. I push it down and the door opens automatically. My legs keep walking, but they stop in the middle of the area. Salty air rises in my nose. The wind is blowing through my hair. Blowing so hard I think I'm going to tip over. I can barely cling to the wall. My hands and fingers hurt. Especially the right ones! The sea rushes below me. The huge waves hit the stone.He is already hollowed out by this power! Lots of little whitecaps are on the waves. You are so merciless! Water. It has such power. You don't believe it if you haven't seen it with your own eyes! Tears. They're salty too! Does man come from the sea? Will he return to the sea?

Just one step! One step and I'm back at the sea! Feel how the salt tingles on my skin, how my lungs fill with water.



One step and I won't hurt any living being anymore! One step and then it's all over! When I'm gone, it doesn't matter! One less nobody in this world, in this universe does not matter!



"Kai! Don't do it! Come back! Stop spinning around!" Nini! I don't want to hurt her! Don't you dare look back. Just feel pain one more time, and then it's over! She will overcome it! And then she will forget about me and start a better life!Without me! You live again in the hearts of others. But I am nobody! I will be forgotten! And with me, what I've done to others!

"Utsutsu wo mo

Utsutsu to sara-ni

Omowaneba

Yume wo mi yume to

Nani ka omowamu! "I yell out into the wind. He carries it away.

"What does that mean? I don't understand this language! What does that mean?" I hear Nini scream. So I translate it. I understand it in both languages ​​and it touches me, no matter which language!

"Reality too

Actually isn't really!

Who ever thought this,

how could he think,

that dreams are just dreams? "



No, my dreams are real! And the reality? It seems like a dream sometimes!



A STEP!!



I go him!



No more ground under my feet! The wind rushes in my ears, the sea rushes below me.My eyes are closed Suddenly a pain jerked through my arm. I'm dangling in the air. Get torn back and forth by the wind. He's playing his game with me. What I just saw as a relief is suddenly horror for me! The sea suddenly seems so brutal to me, it devours everything it can get! My free hand is desperately looking for support. My heart is beating to pieces. I am slowly being pulled up. I push myself up with my other hand. My upper body lands on the hard, cold stone. My legs fidget, find support and brace myself completely on the solid ground. I sit up slowly.



Two clapping noises flash through the air and my cheeks burn like fire.

"How could you do that?" Shouts a high-pitched voice. It's booming in my head and yet I'm glad to hear it. It shows me that I'm still alive! Tears run down my cheeks. I didn't mean to hurt her, and what did I do?I hurt her!



She wraps her arms around me and feels my shirt slowly getting wet. I hug her tightly and rest my chin on her shoulder. Tears run down my cheeks too. Why? Why does this event have to show me that I love her? Why do I have to hurt her first to know that I love her? That I love her more than anything!





(??? view)



So they finally found each other. My heart starts beating faster at the sight of them. I feel joy in myself. It's really wonderful to see love blossom. And that in this time. In a time when it comes to hatred, war and anger. Somehow this love reminds me of a flower. A flower that stands lonely in a meadow. Around them only withered and broken flowers. And yet it blooms. She doesn't give up and shines in full splendor. Yes, love is the same. She always shines. Does not matter when. No matter where. No matter how.She shines even in the deepest darkness. Even when hope is gone.

"When I see both of them, it fills my heart with joy but also with sadness!" my friend's voice rings in my ear.

"Yes, unfortunately you are right. But we'll see. It's a miracle that her love came about in such a situation." I say and look away again.

"Yes, you are right this time. Will the bond hold between them?"

"We have to take care of that. I could never forgive myself if they are both unhappy." I say in a hushed tone.

"We don't need to take care of that. They can do it on their own." My friend's voice sounds honest and pleased.

"Yes, you are right. Love is a heavenly force. So we needn't worry in the least." I mean.

"Haec me consolata est in humilitate mea, quia eloquinem tuum vivicafit me" (This is my consolation in my misery, that your word refreshes me.) Together with my friend I leave the room and prepare the next steps.



(Tala's sight)



My steps echo down the corridor. Torches are attached to the stone walls and the floor is covered with a dark red carpet. There are picture frames between the torches. But there are no pictures in it. Just empty big golden picture frames. But I don't have time to worry about it. What did I say so wrong that Jenny looked at me so strangely? Did i hurt her? Did i