(Lord, hear my prayer and let my screams come to you!) De profundis clamavi ad te, Domine!Domine, exaudi vocem meam! Fiant aures tuae intendentes in vocem deprecationis meae! (From the depths I call to you, Lord! Lord, hear my voice! Let your ears listen to the voice of my pleading! ", She cries desperately and falls powerless on her knees. She is still clutching the baby. Images rise in me high, but I try to suppress her. I can empathize with her pain, even if I don't know what she just shouted.

"Come on, you need help!" I tell her and pull her up.



“Nini is injured! She hurt her leg, these children tell you!” A girl, around my age, comes up to me calling and helps me to support the woman. Who is she? She just approaches me openly and how does she know Nini? What about Nini? Where is she? I have to help her! But first I have to get this woman to the cathedral!



Relieved, I take Nini in my arms. I was very worried, but luckily she is reasonably fine!I carefully help her to support the injured man.



We can't do anything more here! So why does Nini want to stay with this girl named Kira? I feel a feeling of hate rising inside me, but I cannot suppress it. I know it too well for me not to know what it is: jealousy! She lets new questions appear: Nini has known Kira for at most an hour, why doesn't she want to leave her side now? I try to come up with excuses for Nini, but that only makes my jealousy even greater.



"Come on Nini, I'll bandage your foot!" Says Kira and fetches bandages. I have to agree with her, Nini's foot doesn't look very good.

"Are you okay?" Nini asks me and looks me in the eye. 'No, I feel like shit! ', it screams inside me and again the pictures come up. But I don't want to worry Nini. She's been through enough already! But her gaze is so penetrating.I just have to turn away! But Nini is not satisfied with my answer and asks again. The images in my head get bigger, more terrible. The memories overwhelm me. I have to get out of here! Away from this Kira, away from Nini's searching gaze!



Finally, finally I'm alone! I close the bathroom door behind me with relief. In the next moment I am overwhelmed by a wave of memories. I stumble to the sink and brace myself there. My legs are shaking, as are my arms. And my right hand is still on fire. I carelessly tear off the wet bandage. The wound is bleeding again, but I don't really care. I need a shower. I feel so dirty! So I stumble into the shower, ignoring the trail of blood behind me, and turn on the water. It runs warm down my body, warms my wet clothes, which are still clinging to me, but I ignore all of this. The memories are still there no matter how hard I try to suppress them.And now they completely overcome me. My legs give way and I bend my knees, banging my head against the wall. I lied to Nini! You too! I feel like shit and I tell her I'm fine. She has a right to know that I think I saw Jenny! Just a brief moment when I looked up at the sky, but I'm very sure. She saw everything and didn't help! Was Tala there too? Did Tala just watch these people suffer? But that's not what troubles me. No, the worst event came after that. I have to go through it again:



I have come a long way from the cathedral. Maybe too far? I see someone up there! I run towards him, but suddenly I stop. A man limps over to me on all fours. He pulls himself more on the ground than that he crawls! But it is not a bright light! No, he is wearing black clothes, there is some kind of weapon on his pants.

“Please…. Help… me!” With the last of his strength, he reaches out his hand to me. But I don't take it. No, I stand there and look at him coldly. But a fight rages inside me. Anger flares up in me. He contributed to this misery! He's a soldier on the opposing side. And now he expects me to help him? Didn't he see the misery he caused? How selfish he is!

Yes, he was just strong and murdered without thinking twice. And now he's weak, writhing in the dirt in front of me and whining like a dog.

Without thinking, I bend down, pick up his gun, and aim at him. His eyes widen in horror, his lips form: 'No, please don't! ', but it's already too late. I already pulled the trigger. Just because! One push of a button and he's dead. Nothing more! Just one push of a button and everything around me collapses. My whole being. One push of a button and I became a murderer. I wiped out a life out of anger alone!I played judge, sentenced him to death. I stare at him in shock. The gun falls from my hand, I turn and run back.



Water runs down my cheeks. Is it tears or is it just the shower water? My body is shaking with convulsions. But worst of all is the memory. Why am I capable of such a thing? Why did I just wipe out a life like that? I didn't have the right to do so! "Mea culpa, mea culpa, mea maxima culpa! (My guilt, my guilt, my big guilt)", comes softly from my lips. Yes, I learned this sentence in the abbey. He helped deal with the bad things I did. But now it doesn't help. Not a bit. What good does it do me to know that I am guilty?



Nini…. Will I still be able to look her in the eye? I am a murderer! Will she be able to forgive me without knowing what I've done? Or is her Kira more important? No, now I'm trying to channel my anger towards Kira.That's not fair! I am the culprit! No matter how long I stand in the shower, no matter how often and for long I wash, the guilt will always stick to me, will surround me, will constantly conjure up the pain. I feel sick, but vomiting won't help either! Evil is in me, but it won't come out. I can literally feel it taking hold of me more and more. It starts from my hands and slowly moves on. I get up and stumble out of the shower to the mirror. I have to get those hands off somehow! Must prevent evil from taking complete control of me!



When I see my reflection in the mirror, I am frightened. My face is contorted, out of control. Is it my face My eyes fall on my hands again. I have to get rid of them! I hit the mirror with my fist and it splinters into many pieces. I keep one. Yes, I can get rid of my hands with that!I clutch the shard convulsively and take it to my wrist. Everything around me turns and turns black. I drop the shard. It is too late! Evil has already completely taken hold of me! I no longer notice my head hitting the ground hard.



(Jenny's point of view)

"We want to show you something now. You are now far enough to

understand. Just walk down the hall and then enter the room! ",

says one of the dark lights and then disappears. Tala and I find ourselves confused

at. What shoud that? But we do what the light wanted. Is it curiosity,

that drives us, or have we already been changed so that we do everything,

what we are told



As soon as we open the door, two young men are already standing in front of us. You

wear long black robes. One has long brown hair and green

Eyes and the other has dark blonde short hair and blue eyes that are
shine brighter than talas. He steps in front of us saying, “My name is Uriel!” His

Voice sounds just like that, from a dark light! But ... can that be? Is it

possible that ....

"I see you are on the right track. This is our real

Shape! The lights are just our souls that we get from our bodies

can separate. You would probably call something like this "out of body experience". That

next to me is Raphael! "As he says that, he looks me straight in the eye.





His eyes are different from Talas. They are not that bright .... and yet

do they have a special sheen, appear brighter than anything else
shine. There is so much goodness in them, so much knowledge but also grief.



"Why didn't you show us your true form earlier? They see

bright lights just like you do? Lived in the town we were about to

did lights fly? ", Tala's voice pulls me out of my thoughts.

"As I said, you weren't ready yet. Exactly,
were in town
lights too! We once lived in these cities too, but we

released from them. And now they want revenge. "replies Raphael.



Now my head is no longer empty, but full of questions: "Do you have the

City attacked? Why? There were innocent people there! "

"Wrong! No people! They call themselves Lucinae (the shining ones).

We and they cannot be compared with you humans! Maybe that sounds

it arrogant, but we are better and also more knowing than you. And we

attacked the city to save your friends! Unfortunately the

Lucinae reacts faster than we thought! Now let's get your weapons

demonstrate. You have to learn to deal with them and we will help you! ",

replies Uriel and the two just start walking. I want to go further

Asking questions, but Tala puts her hand on my shoulder and gently shakes
the head. Why? What's so bad about asking questions? But then I hold

my mouth anyway. When Tala thinks it's better to be silent.



"These are the weapons you will use! They are customized for

selected every fighter. Let's start with you Jenny, "says Uriel and turns

to a shelf in which a lot of bars are lined up. He's going to get one
out and hand it to me. The stick is about 1.30 meters long made of black

Made of metal. However, it is very easy for metal! The handle

seems to be in the middle because the two ends are pointed and sharp. The transition from the handle to the blade is artfully decorated. It is as if rose tendrils are twisting along the handle.



"As I can see you are