I didn't manage to advance the story an inch, of course I didn't want to, but I hope it still makes some sense. Thanks to Fortune and Maron01 for their totally loving and constructive clerks! Also, I gave the wrong number for the last part! * ashamed *

@ maron01: Well, what exactly this Tyler wants now is unfortunately still not revealed, but soon! Hey and if you say again that you can't write well, I'll knock you on the finger, although then you can no longer write, so better not! Thank you for this long and something of dear pickup * and thank you for believing in my talent, even if, to be honest, I doubt it more and more!

@Fortune: Hey what praise! Wasn't chloroform but some devil stuff with awesome side effects! And you're right, I definitely won't be able to resist and at some point I will put in something pretty gross, but until then it will take a little more!

So now it's finally going!



I am so angry! Wants to destroy something, my anger has to be directed against something, has to get out of me. But I feel so weak Can't even get up. The anger simmers hot in me and should actually give me strength, but rather the opposite is the case. I am completely drained. I'm hungry and excruciatingly thirsty. I am still slightly foggy. The headache has reduced to a reasonably tolerable throbbing behind my eyes, but the pain could attack me again at any time with unbelievable brutality.

I feel so helpless. Not only are my physical strength almost exhausted, my will and my mind are also almost exhausted. Right now I'm a helpless victim. If someone came to kill me now, I wouldn't even have the slightest chance of defending myself in any way. Once again I am unable to cope with my weakness.



Everything is so confusing. What is expected of me anyway? What should I do? How am I supposed to resist something if I don't even know what? Can I defend myself somehow? I have no idea. Is that an attrition tactic? Do you want to break my will? Right now I'm completely passive. I just don't have the strength to even think about resistance. Is that what they want Do you want to find out how long it will take you to break my will? As it looks at the moment, not very long. What if it just comes down to breaking my will when, after accomplishing this, they have no more use for me? What am I thinking? I'm sliding back into my very private nightmare. What am I telling myself?

Maybe that's just their method of making it clear right from the start who's the boss here. You want to nip any resistance in the bud. Resistance to what? Against her therapy?What kind of mental hospital is it anyway, if they work with such methods? You can only go nuts. Maybe they work here like in the military. First get everything ready and then rebuild from scratch. Maybe it's the same here. First of all, everyone is given such a tremendous shock that they no longer know where their heads are until they go crazy with fear and then these willless and dignified people are simply reprogrammed. Damn it, something is going really wrong here. Something is wrong here.



It's just a shame that this realization doesn't get me any further. I am still at the end of my not exactly intoxicating strengths from the beginning. Well, physically I may be a wreck, but that doesn't mean I let myself get down so easily. I will definitely not let myself get beaten up. I will fight!

Fight?With what, and above all, against whom or what should I fight? I can't fight the whole world. I don't want to fight anymore. I am so very tired. I do not want to any more. But I have to! I've fought all my life, so why not suddenly anymore? What is different than usual? So I don't know against whom. Well, that was probably never the problem. I mustn't give up! No matter what, I can't give up on myself. There is always a way. There has to be a way! I just have to find him. I will flee. These guys won't stop me.

This may seem hopeless at the moment, but I'll get there. I just have to break this task down into its individual parts and do the individual tasks over and over again. And then I'll just solve them one by one. One after the other. Now I just have to figure out what these tasks look like. What's the first step? I need to regain my strength.Yeah, a good start.



What do I need for that? Something to eat and, more importantly, something to drink. And what else? Sleep. I just have to break everything down into its logical components and analyze them. I can't let my feelings guide me. Feelings make you weak. So what do I do to get food? What did that bursa from Tyler say again? It doesn't really matter what exactly he said, but what he meant by that is important. So he wants total submission?

He can have it. I'll be very good to regain my strength and only then think about what to do next. I first have to find out what they want and only then can I think about what to do about it. Just switching to stubborn doesn't do me any good, that's clear. I just have to fit in a little and then the rest of it almost takes care of itself.

I need information almost as urgently as I need my physical strength.But I need my spiritual powers even more urgently. It will not be easy to maintain the appearance of the docile patient. I don't have a clear idea of ​​what to expect, but it won't be a walk in the park. They will certainly try to get me down mentally and physically in every possible way to be absolutely sure that they have me under control. I don't know if I've seen too many bad films or just overreacting, but they have something in store for me and it's definitely not a good thing.

The only question is what?



So the decision has already been made, but nothing more will happen here before tomorrow. I have no idea when it will be 'tomorrow' at all, but until then I can't twiddle my thumbs either. I'm going to lie down and sleep now. Tired, I lift my head. The mattress is less than 3 meters away and yet the way there seems almost insurmountable to me.I am only now fully aware of the effects that two, at most three days without food can have on my body. And that narcotic wasn't very helpful either. My stomach suddenly cramps in pain. It takes hours before he calms down, or at least it seems that way to me. In truth, only a few seconds have passed, but that is also meaningless. I'm going to lie down on this mattress and sleep now. No matter how, but I can do it now.



It's actually pathetic what 'big' goals I have at the moment. I don't even try to get up, I definitely don't have the strength and thanks to the anesthetic I wouldn't even be able to stand up, let alone walk, even if I weren't so powerless. So I slowly drag myself towards the mattress. Every inch turns into a single fight. I have to get to that mattress! I just have to do it! Only my pure willpower still drives me.I mobilize my last power reserves, power reserves that I shouldn't have any more and that I will definitely need more at some point, but at this moment I don't care at all. Finally I touch the mattress with my fingertips. Just a little longer. I have to make it!



And I can do it. With the last of my strength I pull my limp body onto the hard mattress. My heart is racing, my breathing is panting and irregular. I feel so good. Strange, like I've accomplished something important. Something incredibly difficult. I feel pride Proud of my performance, which is actually just pathetic. Pathetic. Again I managed to beat myself up. Just one thought and all my efforts are worthless. What do I actually need someone to beat me up for? I can do it best myself. Yes, you inflict most of the pain on yourself, at least that's 100% true for me.I am my greatest enemy and also my only friend. Who should believe in me if not me? Who should love me if I can't love myself? It is always the same. I do not accept myself and try with all my might to change that. No, I'm trying to change people and I can't even change myself. And again I get lost in my confused trains of thought. No matter how weak I am, I still seem to have enough strength for something like that. I want to sleep now, no, I have to sleep and relax.



It's all so dark. Everything dark. I look around hurriedly, but there is nothing but blackness. But I feel that there is something I am not alone. Something is lurking for me in this darkness. I can feel it very clearly. Feel how looks feel over my body. They are not friendly looks, oh no. There are hungry looks, looks that want to devour me.Looks that scare me. I don't know where they come from. Who is watching me What is there?

A sound! I drive around. Nothing. I can't see anything, but that doesn't mean there's nobody there. A gasp. Closer, much closer than before. I turn in circles. Try to hit at this invisible something and force it to show itself, but actually I don't want to see it. I want it to go away. Let it go! But it's still there. Somewhere in the dark. It is waiting. Waiting for an opportunity. Or is it just playing with me?



"Come here! Attack! I don't want to wait anymore. Come if you dare!" No answer. I didn't expect any either. Everything stays calm. "Then go! I want you to go, did you hear! Go away!" No reaction. I listen into the darkness. Isn't there a slight breathing to be heard? Then a click like claws hitting hard ground. Long, dagger-like claws.The click is getting closer. Getting closer. Run away Damn it, run away! But my muscles don't respond. I can not move. I am paralyzed. That sound!

I'm going to die. The thought comes suddenly and completely calmly. So I'm going to die. The clicking stops. Again only this lurking silence surrounds me. I am still not alone. What is it waiting for? Then a terrible pain. I open my eyes with a cry. I'm lying on my mattress. Just a