A tail problem

A tail problem (sounds more perverted than it is)

Another comedy from Ash, the Wanderer. Nothing has been contributed by me, only the translation.

MS: I've replaced each "tail" with a "tail". There are sentences that make this necessary, believe me.

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Vegeta woke up one fine morning after a usual night with Bulma.

"Ah, I even slept well! A miracle I even got a whole night of sleep with those damn earth-ARGH!" Yelled Vegeta as he fell on his nose while trying to get out of bed.

"AHHHHHH!" Yelled Bulma at the sudden, um, scream.

The door flew open and Trunks, now in his teenage years and already knowing the difference between a good scream and a bad scream by his parents, flew in with SSJ status.

"WHO IS TRYING TO KILL US NOW?!?!?!?!" He shouted. Then he saw that his parents were all right and relaxed and let his hair return to its normal purple color.

Vegeta stood up, cursing, and held his tail, which had mysteriously grown back after the Boo saga.

"It's my tail! I tripped over it! And he doesn't want to move!" Vegeta said angrily.

Holding his tail in front of him, he shook it to illustrate his point.

"He doesn't want to move? What do you mean?" Asked Bulma. Bra came to the door next to her brother and Bulma silently thanked Kami for putting on a nightgown before going to bed.

"Look at him! He's limp! He's lifeless!" Said Vegeta and continued to shake his tail.

"His spring is over!" Interjected Bra.[MS: Its spring has sprung! Its varmore has vamoosed! ]

"Uh, what did she say?" Replied Vegeta.

"You must have turned around and lay on it all night. He must have fallen asleep," said Trunks and shooed his little sister away in case his parents wanted to paint the air blue[MS: curses].Bulma sighed, but she was grateful that these days and ages, Vegeta's worst problem was a sleepy tail.

"He's sleeping, you say?", Vegeta said and his face took on his trademark grin. "OK! If it sleeps, I'll wake it up!"

With that, Vegeta brought his tail to his mouth.[MS: I hope you understand. ]

"WAAAAAAAAAACHHH AAAAAUUUUUUUUFFFFFF!"

After the house stopped shaking, Trunks rammed a finger into his ear to stop the ringing.

"Nice. Still a little flat, Toussan. Try a C"

His tail still asleep, Vegeta grabbed the alarm clock from the side of the bed, pulled it open and brought it to his tail.

"BRIIIIIIIIIINNNNNNNGGGGGGG!", It went. The tail stayed asleep.

Growling, Vegeta stared at his limp tail, then stomped off and pushed past his son. Trunks followed to see what he would do.

"Well, part of him that really stays limp.It's a miracle, "remarked Bulma.



Trunks entered the kitchen when his father was making a pot of coffee on the stove.

"Toussan, what are you doing?"

"A little coffee should be enough," Vegeta replied. Trunks suddenly realized what was about to happen.

"Toussan, just one thing. Could you maybe do it outside?" Trunks asked as Vegeta took the piping hot pot from the oven.

"Why, what should-YEEEEEOOOOOOOOWWWWWW!, Vegeta yelled as he poured the hot coffee on his tail and jumped through the roof, his tail burning.

"That's why," Trunks replied when the last bit of bricks fell down.

"Trunks, did Vegeta fly through the door again?" Bulma called from above.

"No, mother, he flew through the roof," Trunks called back as he left the house through the next door.

"The roof? Well, at least I can call a new repairman," Bulma said.



Trunks went out onto the lawn and stood with arms outstretched.

"OK, if what mom taught me is true, then based on my calculations, Toussan should end up right here. So I'll just stand here and wait for ..."

"Trunks, can I have the last Pop-Tart?" Bra called from the kitchen.

"What? NO! You ate the whole box! The last one is mine! Hey, don't even try ...!" Trunks yelled as he flew towards the kitchen to prevent his little sister from serving the last of the breakfast pastries eat.

As the door swung shut, Vegeta crashed head first into the ground and was buried up to her knees. The door swung open again and Trunks strolled out, chewing a piece of home-toasted pastry.

"Oh damn it," he groaned when he realized he'd forgotten his father. "Well, he'll survive."

Trunks walked over calmly and pulled his father out of the earth by his still limp tail.

Vegeta jumped to her feet angrily.
"YOU ...", he started before he noticed Bra, who was standing in the arched doorway with wide, curious eyes. "... Bad person!"

Trunks almost choked on his pop tart when he heard his father insult him with such a weird title. His father frowned.

"You're lucky, son. But I have to wonder why you didn't catch me?" Vegeta growled.

"Why didn't you just fly?" Trunks replied between bites. Vegeta looked at him and then grimaced. The pain in his tail had been so great that he had completely forgotten about it. It was about as humiliating when Kakarott reminded him he was already dead after saying that he would rather die than fuse with him.

"Argh! Even though he can feel pain, my tail is still completely kicked away! Damn thing!" Vegeta cursed before flying away again.

Trunks watched him go, finished his pop tart, and went back into the house for a glass of milk.When he got back into the forecourt, Vegeta appeared with a rooster.[MS: Huge musical devices that you carry on your shoulder. ]

"COCK-A-DOODLE-DOO!", It came from the rooster directly on Vegeta's tail. It still refused to wake up. Vegeta scowled, shot the rooster to pieces, ate it, and then flew away again.

He came back with a big drum and cymbals. He buckled on the drum and cymbals and began to march back and forth, making as much noise as possible with the instruments.

BADABOOMCLANGBOOMCLANGCLANGBOOMBOOMBANGCLANGBOOM!

No change in the tail.

After the ideas ran out, Vegeta resorted to a true Vegeta solution. He threw his tail on the ground and started trampling on it.

STOMP STOMP STOMP!

"ARGH! I've heard of solid sleepers, but that's absurd!" Vegeta yelled, picking up his tail and looking at it.

Trunks, who had finally stopped laughing, wiped his tears away.

"Toussan ... hahaha. Why do you even want to wake your tail? It's not like it'll affect your fighting skills," Trunks tried logic.

Vegeta looked at his son and then back at his tail.

"Ah, you're right. Who cares about the tail? I'll just walk over there!" Yelled Vegeta as he tripped over his limp tail again and slammed his nose. “THEREFORE!”

"Sigh, I'm sure you can do it. I'll go and meet Goten now. Have fun, Toussan!" Trunks said as he flew off and on. Vegeta watched his son disappear with (you guessed it) a scowl.

"Bah! The prince of the Saiyan and he has no one to help him! What do I do with you now?", He said and looked at his tail.

Some time later Vegeta came out of the house, now dressed and with some balloons tied to his tail.The helium-filled toys kept his tail in the air and away from his feet.

"That might look stupid, but at least I won't fall over my own feet again. That would probably be worse than this absurd picture," said Vegeta as he flew away to train.

Vegeta's assessment of a situation that was worse for his pride was as far from the truth as it could be.

"Vegeta, can I have a balloon?"

"NO! Now let's train, Kakarott!"

"Vegeta, can I have a balloon?"

"HISS OFF YOU NOSELESS BAKA!"

"Father, can I have a balloon?"

"NO ... oh, sorry. Here you have one, sweetie."

"Vegeta, can I have a balloon?"

"NOW IT'S ENOUGH! IF EVEN PICCOLO ASKS, I KNOW IT WAS A BAD IDEA! No more balloons!"

Of course, once all the balloons were gone, there were more problems. In the end, it got so bad that Vegeta even let Goku win in her training session just so he could have an excuse to sleep for the rest of the day.



But all bad times came to an end, in the end, and the Saiyan prince crawled into his wife's bed that night, physically sore and emotionally consumed.

"I did it! I survived this whole day with that damn tail! I deserve a medal! I deserve a standing ovation! I deserve immortality! But a night of sleep will do it too!", Vegeta snorted. He lay down and carefully laid his tail on its side. Too tired to even kiss Bulma, he closed his eyes and ...

SPRONG!

"AAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

"WHO IS TRYING TO KILL US NOW?!?!?!?!", Trunks shouted as he stormed into his parents' room again. Again he found his parents safe and sound and his father standing again, now with a very lively tail.

"You damn thing! You wait all day and now you do this! You ..."

Trunks quickly closed the door and shooed his little sister away when Vegeta finally burned a hole in the air.When he ran out of swear words and all combinations, he went back to bed with Bulma.

"Well, he's pretty awake now," Vegeta said, looking down at his vibrating tail. "I have a few things in the back of my mind that I would like to do with him now!

"Ewwww, Vegeta! I told you when we started going out that I wasn't into that perverted stuff!"

"No woman! I meant I want to hurt it! What do you think this is, a bad hentai fic?"

CRASH!

"AAAAHHHH!" Bra suddenly shouted. "Toussan, my fourth wall just collapsed!"

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MS: At the beginning I didn't really get the end either. Think for yourself ;-P