Hiiiii !!!!! We are extremely sorry that we have not been heard from us in such a long time. A very big sorry !!! Nini was with friends at Jenny and me over the weekend and so we couldn't continue writing. At the moment she is on her way back, so unfortunately we will not be able to give reviews of your inspectors. But we were very happy about the clerks * all hugely cuddly *
The next disappointment is waiting: This part is without Tala and Jenny is mega short. But there is a lime for that ^^ (my first. Nini has already written one. I tortured myself, which you will probably notice -_- ")
Have fun reading, HEASMDL !!!

(Kai's point of view)
I go into the bathroom and clouds of steam come towards me. My gaze falls directly on Nini who is just getting out of the shower. I feel myself blushing, but I just can't take my eyes off her body, no matter how much I want to. Do i want it? Not really. My mind is working against my body, but the body seems to be winning.Because neither my eyes nor my legs obey me.
Nini smiles at me and comes up to me. She doesn't grab a towel screaming, no, she just walks up to me and gives me a kiss. Her hand gently strokes my neck and I feel myself getting goosebumps.
Nini's mouth slowly moves to my ear, nibbling on it. One warm shower chases the next. I still can't move, can't say anything. She carefully pulls my shirt over my head and runs her fingers over my chest. I don't know what to do. I feel the excitement flare up inside me, feel how it slowly creeps into every cell of my body, but that Nini is so strange scares me.
She kisses me again, I feel her warm skin on mine, her hand is tampering with my pants ...

I wake up drenched in sweat and my first look is on my lower body. There is no elevation to be seen there, but it seems to be quite wet down there.My second look is at Nini, and I am relieved to see that she has not noticed anything. I carefully jump up and dive into the bathroom. As a precaution, I lock the door. Then I take off my clothes and take a shower.

The cold water hurts, everything contracts. It's like a punishment. Yeah, I want to punish myself for what I've dreamed I hate these dreams! No, I don't really hate her, you really can't say that. My hatred is for myself. Yes, in the abbey I had dreams like all the other boys too, but Nini never appeared in them. Sure, I didn't know her then either!

My hands are shaking. From the cold, or from my anger? I'm afraid. Afraid that what I feel for Nini isn't really love, but that it's just my instinct. My legs give way and I slide along the wall onto the floor. I clasp my legs with my hands.The cold water is still pounding down on me, it hurts, but I clench my teeth and keep shaking. Maybe I only "love" her because she is the only woman here. Then what is Kira? No, she is a light, not a human. Maybe it didn't address my body. Actually, Nini and Jenny were the first girls I met.

Didn't I think I loved Jenny for a while too? The fear is growing, that tingly, uncomfortable, nervous feeling in my stomach that gives me stomach pain.

Why don't I know myself? Why do I not know my inner being, can I not even answer the simplest questions? My eyes are burning and my face is all wet. Is it the shower water? Then why does it taste salty? Why the fuck am I crying? Again something I don't understand.

My whole body is burning and shaking. I use all my strength to turn off the cold water tap. Then my hand sinks powerlessly to the floor again.I put my head on my knees and stare into space. My brain seems to have shrunk from the cold, it doesn't want to think anymore.

I try to get up, but tend to stagger out of the shower, my legs are barely able to support my weight. Only after I've dried off do I feel a little warmer. One look at the clock tells me it's 5 a.m. I just go into the room with the towel around my hips and take my clothes. Then I change in the bathroom.

Nini shouldn't be scared because I'm not there thinking something else. So I write her a note that I can go for a walk. She herself lies peacefully in my bed and snuggles against my pillow. I have to smile easily. It has already become a habit for Nini to lie in bed with me. I haven't had a nightmare since then. But now I'm afraid that might be wrong. The self-reproaches come again. I don't know if I love Nini or if it's just my instinct.This tingling in my stomach tells me it's love, but after my dream I'm not so sure anymore.

I go to Gabriel and Michael's room. But this time without a weapon. When I walk in, Gabriel blinks at me in confusion.
"You want us to help you, don't you?" I ask him.
“Yes, but why do you ask?” Michael has now woken up too and looks at me in astonishment but curiously.
"Then teach me how to fight! I will fight for you! To the bitter end, but I also set conditions!" I say calmly, but my voice is shaking slightly.
"And that would be?" Michael looks at me happily, but Gabriel looks at me suspiciously.
"You must never teach Nini to fight, no matter how much she asks you! And she must not find out that I am fighting!" Gabriel opens his mouth to say something, but I interrupt him: "I don't want Nini to fight, that she has to kill someone! And you surely don't want to either, you are after all concerned about our safety, both physically and mentally, aren't you?I promise you, if necessary, I'll fight like 10 other lights, train harder than all of them, the main thing is that you don't let Nini fight! "My voice sounds haunting. I have sworn to protect Nini and I will do that! Whether I love her or it's just instinct, I don't want anything to happen to her! I'd rather die than let something happen to her!"

Gabriel nods slowly: "Okay, we tell her that we have recognized your telepathic abilities and that you would like to train them. But you need complete rest, so Nini cannot come with us."
Nodding, I agree. I already hate lying to Nini, but it's for her own safety!
If this was all instinct and not love, would I risk my life for her? You always want to protect? The certainty that I really love Nini comes back. Just for how long

I slowly go back to our room, form sentences in my head that I could use to explain my "telepathic powers".But with every sentence my heart gets heavier. I already hate lying to her, loathe myself for that lie. But if Nini found out that I don't want her to fight, she would really want to fight. As much as it hurts to lie to her, it is for her well-being.

I slowly open the door and peek into the room. The bed is empty. Just like the balcony, I carefully open the bathroom door, narrowing my eyes so that the same thing doesn't happen as in my dream. But there is no sound to be heard, no steam, I carefully open my eyes and realize that the bathroom is empty. I run back into the room and look around in panic for a note. But there is no note anywhere. Panic seizes me. Where's nini? My note has slipped on the table. So she read it. Then why does she just go? It's not that she can't do anything without my control, that I always have to take care of her, but I'm still scared.I can't think of anything better than to tell Gabriel and Michael about Nini's disappearance. Maybe you know where Nini is! But the two of them just shake their heads in amazement.

So we split up and look for Nini all over the castle. After an hour we come back to the agreed meeting point without any results. My stomach flutters, fear grips my heart. It seems to get bigger with every minute, also depressing my air. Can't the lights do anything to find them? Or do you not want it at all?

Suddenly a door opens further up the hall and Nini comes out. It's like a stone is falling from my heart. Relieved, I run up to her and hug her. You could also call it 'hugging her'.
When Gabriel asked where she was, she replied sarcastically: "I met Jenny and Tala. I made up for them again!"
I look at her in amazement. Whats up with her? Why is she so angry, "What's wrong with you?""Oh, nothing Kai. Everything is fine. But what are you doing here? I thought you had to train your> telepathic skills <.", She snaps at me. It's like my lungs are compressed. My breath is quick and shallow, fear grips me. How does she know? It is completely unexpected for me. I would have expected everything, but not that! That's what I get! Why did I want to lie to her too? But it was all just for her protection!

Nini's body trembles, a fire seems to burn in her eyes, her lips quiver slightly. It's like she's going to explode in anger any minute.
"Nini ..... it ... it was just for your protection!" I try to calm down both her and myself. But there is absolutely no point. It just seems to make Nini angrier, and my hatred of myself is growing too.
"For my protection! Pah! You know what, Kai? Fuck you! I'm tired of your stupid sayings. You wanted to lie to me!"And of course you both participated. It was so clear! You know what? You three can all cross-white me. And now I will go because I can no longer bear you. ", she yells at us and stomps off with her head held high. I look after her, raise my arm as if I could hold her with it, bring her back, although there are already a few meters between us and the distance is getting bigger and bigger.

What should I do now? A loud sigh comes from my throat. In anger and desperation, I ram my fist against the wall. A violent pain jerks through me that I cry out. My hand still hasn't healed properly (remember the wound he had because he rattled the locker key, because Nini kissed him on the cheek? ^^). And now it hurts again. I really am a bullshit!

My feeling is that I shouldn't go to Nini just yet. But my feeling also told me to protect her.Gabriel and Michael just float away. Great, now I can pay for it! You really take care of me very well.
"Tomorrow your lessons start!", Michael shouts over his shoulder with a grin. I make a face. So they don't think that they are a little to blame for this situation.