slowly, deeply and lovingly.

I feel how Kai gives up to defend himself against his feelings and presses me tightly. How he let himself fall and just let it happen.

The world around me no longer exists. You blurry, lost. Only Kai and me are still there.And Kai is enough for me. And so we both sink too. Merging with each other.

O how easy it is in blissful pleasures
The hours now move on to me!
I look you in the eye, are you present
And I dream of you when we have to divorce.

Often we curb the longing with decisions
But always wants to stir a new desire
And if we use barely understandable speech,
It melts us again and turns into kisses.

The first awakens the desire for a thousand new ones,
It follows love signs love signs
And each one seems to please us higher.

Only now do I fully understand the spring, the rich,
If he doesn't stop scattering roses
All of which are beautiful and all the same.

(Jenny's point of view)
It's already bright as day in the room, but I don't want to get up. It's nice and cozy in bed here. I don't want to go back to the cold. Don't want to be helplessly at the mercy of her. I prefer to lie in bed and stare in front of me. The happenings seem like a bad nightmare, but it's true.I can still see the blood on my hands even though I washed my hands at least five times last night. The stench of death clings to me and I will always carry it around with me. Again I feel this icy cold creep up inside me, wrap my arms around my legs and try to warm myself, although I know that it is pointless. Because the cold comes from inside me.

I want to get the scene from yesterday out of my mind, but the more I try, the more persistent they are. It would also be wrong to try to forget what happened. I owe it to Kira for every minute of my life to remember to always carry this burden with me.

Yes, I can still remember the promise I made to my mother. I will return at some point too. Sometime…. At the moment I just don't have the strength to do it. Not the strength to fight.

So many times I've fought, I've powered.And that’s what I got from it, that’s what happened. I always tried to please everyone and now they all hate me. I'm only human too. But a bad one. I am depraved.

My mortal sin is excess. This time, too, I exaggerated. I wanted to bluff and murder someone.

The door opens and Tala comes in. His expression is sad, I worry him. I'm sorry, but I can't wear a mask all the time, can't be happy all the time. My mask is broken, the real me has come out.
"Jenny, please talk to me about what is bothering you!" Tala looks at me almost pleadingly. I feel a pang in my heart. But I can't tell him anything. Can't explain my feelings to him. I don't talk about such things. It simply does not work. I can write, yes, I can write it down. Writing is always easier, writing is something different, you are more distant, you don't have to look the person in the eye, you don't have to expect a comment or an objection.Depressed, I stare past him at the wall and shake my head slightly. He sighs and sits down on my bed. We keep silent for a long time, listen to each other's breath, let our thoughts wander.
"Jenny, you have to get up! You can't run! The bed can't protect you either. It's more of a prison than protection. You have to go out into the 'world', have to face the problems. I know it's hard, almost I can't cope with and process it at all, but it's useless if you give up, if you slowly but surely sink into yourself, into your jokes!
I don't expect you to forget everything, to put up with it, or to laugh and be happy. I just want you to get up and be part of life again, no matter how cruel it seems! ", he looks at me insistently, holds my chin with one hand so that I have to look into his eyes. I know he's right. But I have no strength, I feel helpless.He doesn't have to carry that burden of murder with him. He doesn't know how hard it is to know you've killed someone. If you imagine what this life would have been like if you hadn't killed him. Would Kira ever get married and have children? Tala has no idea!
No, I'm doing him an injustice. He's been through a lot of bad things too. He in particular knows what it is like to have no more strength and still have to go on. He, too, always had to fight. My life was still simple against his. And now? Now our roles have reversed. Now he's the listener and I'm the one with problems.

~~~~~ EXTRA ~~~~~
So you wanted to read my Bonny and Max stories. Well I warned you guys !! ^^ I have NOT changed anything (although I would have loved to do it). Everything is as I wrote it when I was 7 years old ^^ "

Bonny and Max stories tell of the life of a piebald guinea pig and a gray pony stallion.Bonny and Max, that's the name of the two, and they experience many little adventures with their friends.

Bonny and Max work in the circus

Bonny lives in the circus. She has to jump through burning tires and crawl over small tracks like a train. When she hisses across the tracks, she often gets pape that looks like a train. One day a new one came. It was a pony and was called Max. Max Box was right next to Bonny's cage. They quickly became friends. Then Bonny was gone. The ringmaster didn't care. When Max made his first appearance, he trotted into the ring. Suddenly Bonny came out from behind his mane. She directed Max to the trapeze and he climbed the ladder to the trapeze. At the top, Bonny jumped off Max's back and both did tricks on the rope.
Another time Bonny let children ride Max for free. It got too colorful for the ringmaster. He put an ad in the newspaper. Three girls had just been waiting for it. They bought Bonny and Max. Now they both had better lives.The three girls were called Stefanie, Nina and Katharina.

I hope you had a lot of fun ;-) If you want to do another chapter of it, tell me: p I laughed myself to death when I read it after so many years.