Poems

Destroyed happiness

Now I'm sitting here
here where it all began
here in this place
once I felt safe here
but now nothing,
Empty.
There is a great emptiness in my heart.
Heart?
Do I even have a heart?
No!
You took it from me
it shreds,
broken it into a thousand pieces.
With your words.
I will probably never be able to patch it up again
because for that you need a soul.
But I don't have that either.
Once she was radiant and beautiful
but now there is almost nothing left of it
except for a little black residue
yes she is stunted,
because you destroyed them
with your words.

Once I liked the bright summer days
but that has also changed
like so many other things
now i like
the dark, cold and bleak winter evenings.

I often wish someone would come
and takes me away
away from this place.
But actually I want to stay here
because this
is my home.Actually, I just wish
that someone comes
wakes me up and says it was all just a nightmare.
Because then everything would be as before
I could be happy again
as previously,
Before you destroyed my heart and soul

But that won't happen
'Cause this is the reality
And so I stay here
here in this place
with my broken heart
and my black soul.
Just here in this place
who in spite of everything,
my home is.

Battered heart

Darkness
cold
anxiety
pain

I knew all of this all too well
but not anymore
I've built a wall around me
a wall,
that protects my heart
doesn’t let feelings through.

Can't cry anymore
can't laugh anymore.
I'm not sad anymore
am not happy anymore.

The cold has become a part of me
'Cause my heart is as cold as ice
I've got used to the dark
i even like them.
I numbed the pain
through this wallThat makes me feel nothing more
And yet I'm scared
Afraid that the wall will crumble
Or even collapse.
Fear that the old wounds will break open again,
and the pain only gets worse
but I suppress this fear.

All of this only happens inside of me
on the outside I put on a mask,
laugh tell jokes
pretend I'm fine
and so nobody sees mine
battered heart.

lovly_angel