Disclaimer: None of these characters are mine. I don't make any money with it and blah, blah, blah ...
Pairing: Shuichi x Yuki

Yuki didn't know how many times he was already looking at this alarm clock. The red numbers shone in his face and although their glow was only weak, it blinded him. The ad told him that it was now 3:34 a.m. The hours passed slowly and he was now so tired that he dozed off every now and then. But then these images came back from his past that made him startle. These images that he tried to forget and that kept coming back just to torment him. He sighed softly to himself. Suddenly he felt how two arms were around his hips and how someone gently snuggled up to him. Loving. Innocent. Yuki watches his lover with a smile. This had leaned his head on Yuki's chest and slept calmly. ,How so? 'Yuki thought. 'Why do I love this annoying person?I always thought I couldn't love anyone anymore after ... 'He brushed a few strands from Shuichi's forehead to get a better view of his face. He didn't know how long he did this, but after a while he closed his eyes again. He tried compulsively to sleep, but he couldn't. Again and again this face appeared in front of him that looked at him punishingly. Suddenly he felt Shuichi's hand begin to open his shirt. Slowly the hand slipped under it. ,He is awake! 'Yuki thought in shock. 'If I open my eyes now and say something, he will definitely cheer and comfort me. 'Yuki still didn't move. He wanted to be hugged by Shuichi, but he had neither the courage nor the strength to speak up or move. Besides, he didn't want to stand there like a weakling in front of his koi. No way. Yuki would never show his real weakness to his koi in his life.Oh yes, he did. That damned weakness, but he would never want to be without it again. Shuichi. That damn weakness was called desire, longing, passion, and sometimes even love. But if it was really love, Yuki wasn't yet aware. Was it love to want someone utterly? Without any doubt? Without inhibition? Regardless of the other person's feelings? Yuki didn't know. He had never known anything like love, but he was about to find out.
Of course Shuichi knew that Yuki was awake and he also knew that bad dreams were tormenting him again. Shuichi just wanted his lover to relax. Forgot the past, at least for a while. Finally he couldn't stand the oppressive silence any longer. "I know exactly that you are awake. Why are you pretending to be asleep?" Slowly Yuki opened her eyes and for a long time the two just looked at each other.It was as if one could read the other's mind. Yuki saw the concern and compassion for him in the eyes of his koi. “Can't you sleep again?” Shuichi's voice had taken on that tone that Yuki hated so much. It seemed to him that Shuichi was melting with pity for him. The thought of it made him sick. He would hurt his koi again, he knew that, but he had no other choice. He wanted him to stop talking to him in that way. "That's none of your business!", Yuki replied gruffly. With one swift movement he got up and left the room. At the same moment in which he had said it, Yuki was sorry again. He was just worried, too. "He's going to start crying again soon," he thought. But this time Yuki had underestimated his Koi, because this time he didn't give up that quickly. He followed him into the living room.The only sign that he was in this room was the glow of his cigarette. Shuichi felt the soft fibers of the carpet under his feet. It was a pleasant, relaxing feeling. He heard Yuki's quiet and steady breathing as he stopped and listened into the dark room. The latter in turn observed how his koi stood in the middle of the room and stared at the glowing cigarette. He followed his every move. His hand reaching forward, groping. His chest rising and falling. His feet moving unsteadily across the floor, hoping not to trip over anything. Just everything. Yuki slowly began to pull back the curtain and let the silver rays of the moon fall into the room. At least this way he had the opportunity to observe his koi more closely. This was now directly in front of him.At the sight of his lover standing there in the moonlight, Yuki let out a small sigh. It was just too good to be real. He drew on his cigarette, only to put it aside. He gently wrapped his arms around the slim waist of his koi and pulled him closer to him. At first their lips just brushed, but then that loving touch turned into a passionate kiss. With his tongue, Yuki sought entry into Shuichi's mouth and Shuichi's mouth allowed him. They stood like that for a few minutes, completely absorbed in what they were doing. Everything was forgotten. All that mattered was that they were united. Here, in this place, at this time. Finally, Yuki broke away from his lover and sat on the couch. He couldn't help but burst into low sobs. Everything seemed to want to get out of him again and again. He felt so pathetic, after all, he had made up his mind not to show weakness, but his body rebelled.He no longer did what Yuki wanted him to do. Shuichi immediately rushed to him and hugged him. His heart tightened when he heard how Yuki continued to cry softly to himself. When he felt the proximity of his Koi, he relaxed a little and the sobbing subsided. All he wanted, what he longed for right now, was not to be alone. Suddenly it came over him. It was like an urge. He just had to tell him. If not, he was guaranteed to shatter internally. "Shuichi, I ... I ... I mean I have to tell you something. It's ... well, you know ..." Shuichi gently put a finger on Yuki's mouth. He knew exactly what he was going to say. He didn't want to torture him any more. “It's okay. I know!” Yuki was both happy and disappointed that his koi had stopped him from saying it. Slowly they let themselves fall to the side and fell asleep quietly in each other's embrace, knowing that they were now safe.Safe from the dreams that haunted her in the night.
The next time Shuichi woke up, he was still surrounded by darkness. The moon had disappeared behind thick rain clouds and thus all light was now gone. It calmed him when he noticed that Yuki had fallen asleep peacefully. His shirt was open and he was lying on his back. His head was tilted a little to one side and he was breathing through his mouth, which was slightly open. "A sight for the gods," Shuichi thought and enjoyed the sight. His heart jumped with joy when he realized that Yuki did not have to endure suffering or pain in his dream. Finally he snuggled up against him again. When he touched the skin of his koi, all the muscles in his body relaxed due to the warmth that emanated from it. He laid his head on Yuki's chest and enjoyed the slow up and down of the rising and falling chest.Finally he wrapped his arms around the waist of his koi so that it was now half on top of him. This is how Shuichi felt comfortable. As long as he was with him and he didn't leave him, nothing mattered to him. Even if he had to take on the suffering of the whole world, he didn't care, because he would still have his lover to hold on to, to love, despite all prejudices, despite all insults. It doesn't matter to him, as long as he doesn't leave him, he'll endure everything. Shortly before Shuichi fell asleep again, he whispered a loving "Aishiteru" in Yuki's ear. Then he too sank again in the land of dreams.

The next morning Shuichi was woken up by the smell of fresh coffee that rose gently into his nose. He opened his eyes sleepily. He stretched his limbs and sat up. Still half asleep, he looked around.When he couldn't see Yuki he got up and trotted into the kitchen, from which the pleasant smell came. With a slow movement he raised his hand and opened the door. A loud "surprise" was called out to him when he stuck his head through the crack in the door. Completely perplexed, he staggered back and sank down the wall to the floor in shock. He was desperately looking for a clue that could tell him what was going on. Finally he discovered it. A huge poster hung from the ceiling, on which in large letters: HAPPY BIRTHDAY SHUICHI! was written. He had actually forgotten his own birthday. But his friends had thought of it. Everyone was gathered. Hiro, Ryuchi, Touma ... and finally, although he was a bit off the beaten track, Yuki. He looked out the window and smoked a cigarette as usual. As everyone expected, Shuichi began to cry again with emotion.To distract him, they dragged him into the kitchen so that everyone could congratulate him individually. You don't turn 20 every day. After everyone had congratulated him and gave him the presents, only Yuki remained, who was still standing at the window. When he noticed that everyone else was done, he released himself from his stupor and slowly walked towards his koi. He rummaged in his jacket for the envelope in which he had stowed Shuichi's present. When he found it, he held it out to Shuichi and mumbled an incomprehensible: “All the best!” Shuichi looked curiously at his present. A plain white envelope. When he opened it there was just a letter in it. He seemed a little disappointed, but then sat down on a chair to read the letter. The following was written in elegantly shaped letters:
Well, now you are finally 20. It was clear to me, like the others, that you would forget this day.We noticed that you've been working way too much lately. Even though I still think you have no talent, your CDs are selling and that is what you do a lot of work. After talking to Touma, he finally agreed to give you a week off. So that you don't have to spend this week in your familiar surroundings, I've decided to go away with you. Where am I not telling you. You'll see when we get there. Again: Happy Birthday Shuichi.
Shuichi couldn't believe it, so he read the letter a 2nd and 3rd time, only to read it again. When it became clear to him after a while that the content did not change and that it was really there, he couldn't hold back any