I had my hat pulled wide over my face so I wasn't sure where I was going. I was mad. Angry with the teacher, with myself, with everything. I was so angry that I wanted to cut everything down. I had already thought of the alternative Kendo, but today the building is closed and so that was done.
It was a pretty hot day that meant that I took my hat off for a moment because I was sweating a little. The traffic light on the opposite side of the street just turned green so I crossed the street with a hundred other people. I looked forward to put my cap back on and caught my breath. I stood right in front of the Hideoyoshi Hospital where Kazuha was stationed. My body turned reflexively to the side to signal to me that I didn't want to go in there. But I stopped. She had been in the hospital for two weeks and I, coward, never went to see her or at least sent her flowers.I felt a pain like never before. Feelings of guilt and fear arose in me and literally drove me into the hospital. At the reception I met a cute little nurse who looked at me with her brown button eyes and gave me a friendly smile.
"Can I help you?"
I wondered for a moment if I shouldn't go again, but a voice deep inside me berated me for how I could get such a thought. 'You owe it to her. After all, you are to blame for her accident! 'it constantly ripens. And so I answered haltingly:
"Um ... I'm looking for ... the room of ... Kazuha To ... Tomaya."
"One moment please.", Yoko said, as I could read on her name tag, and looked for the name in a few files. In those seconds my legs moved back and forth as if they wanted to go home on their own. Somehow there was nothing I could do about it. A few seconds later Yoko smiled at me again and said:"Room 302, floor 4."
I thanked him and walked slowly to the elevator that was opening. With a queasy feeling in my stomach I got in and pressed my head with the number 4, which then lit up yellow. I looked down, with my cap pulled wide over my face, until I reached the fourth floor. I looked left and right and then decided to go left because I had seen the digits 310 and 309 above the rooms. It felt like an endless corridor that I had to walk down before I got to my execution. My stomach tightened even more than I imagined how Kazuha would have to be connected to many machines and hoses. 'All my fault. 'I kept telling myself. I couldn't help it. I always blamed myself for the accident. 'She can never forgive me for that. 'I slowly approached Kazuha's room. I suddenly got hot, my legs got heavy, and my hand shook a little as I slid it to the doorknob.My fear increased that I would never talk to her again or that I would never look into her beautiful green eyes again and I pulled my hand away again. 'What if she never wakes up again?'
I took a few small steps backwards. 'Maybe I shouldn't go to her at all. Precisely because it's my fault. 'I took another step back. 'She definitely wouldn't want to see me if she was awake. I'm ... 'But suddenly I was pushed from behind, fell forward and tried to hold on to the doorknob, pushing it down and half falling into room 302. I looked up and immediately saw Kazuha in her hospital bed. My doubts vanished, my doubts as if blown away. I just wanted to see her. Hug you and never let go. Overwhelmed by its beauty, I couldn't move for a moment. In a dream she lay like a peacefully sleeping angel. I gathered myself together and went directly to the edge of the bed and grabbed her right hand.Now I saw her directly in her beautiful face. I suddenly remembered a saying that used to be totally silly to me, but now made sense to me. You only appreciate a person when they are gone. Kazuha now seemed even more beautiful than ever. Unexpectedly, I felt the urge to kiss her. I automatically leaned down to her, but I only gave her a small kiss on the forehead. Then I didn't sit up straight away, but took her tightly in my arms and said:
"I am sorry."
I took a little break. 'What have I done to you! 'Only now did I realize how much I missed her.
"Come back. Please ... I need you. I miss you ... I ..." I paused, you let go of her. If I had continued, I would have started crying. But I couldn't stop a small tear that hit Kazuha on her right cheek and slowly ran down. I sat up straight again and watched my best friend.After a while I thought I saw a small twitch in her eyes, but it made me believe it. I went away briefly to get a glass of water and let water in the glass of Kazuha's bedside table. When I came back I saw slightly open eyes of Kazuha, who were now looking directly at me. The next moment she closed it again and tilted her head in my direction. 'No ... I'm not imagining that! But ... it can't ... 'I slowly walked over to her and took a little "Heiji?"
At the rear table I sat down next to her and put the glass down again.
"Where am I?" She mumbled again.
A small grin spread across my face. Her beautiful green eyes looked at me again and a tingling sensation spread through my stomach. I paused a moment to be able to enjoy the sight, but then I replied:
"You are in the hospital."
She looked around the room a little until her gaze met me again.'I can not believe it. She is awake! Hopefully none of this is a dream! "