Invitation to the ball

Sarah sits in the tub and splashes. Suddenly Count von Krolock appears. Sarah is scared to death and screams.

v.K .: Good evening, don't be afraid of me ...
S .: Are you crazy? Are you completely stupid or what? What would you do if you suddenly saw something so ugly in front of you, huh? Maybe not
scream? And what do you actually think, how I ever leave your dirt tracks
should get out of my expensive Persian carpet again? Then you can
take care of the cleaning costs, that you know it! And that's going to be expensive, mine
I swear, my friend.
v.K .: Man, what kind of greeting is that? It starts well ...
S .: If you have something to say, please do it quickly. I don't have forever
Time. Besides, I'm getting wrinkled. And please don't be so loud, otherwise
get stressed with my old man. But then it will make you a lot of fire
under the bum.
v.K .: Great ... it's really great.Do I have to be afraid now? Oh god help
spare me!!!
S .: Please don't make fun of me! My daddy is a powerful one
Man in this village!
v.K .: I think that's a rumor.
S .: In any case, I'm not in the mood for small talk now. Can't finally
get down to business
v.K. That's what I've been waiting for ... well: I'm the angel ...
S .: Oh man, lousy pick-up line. The most unsuccessful thing I've ever heard.
Respect!...
v.K .: But, there -...
S .: Damn it, are you a psychopath or what? I tell you, I'll get the cops!
I'm chasing the mafia on your neck! They make you cold! Or see you
in court again!
v.K .: Tell me, are you pretending to be stupid or do you really not know me?
S .: Man, did you really think I didn't recognize you?
v.K .: Oh ... did you?
S .: Yes, otherwise I wouldn't dare to report you!
v.K .: Huh?
S .: Kevin Tarte, come down here immediately, you wretched peeper!v.K .: Is it still possible? Do I look like Kevin Tarte? I beg you ... that's it
ridiculous!
S .: Ridiculous, yes? And who else are you supposed to be? You don't want to
really claim you are the Count of Krolock, right?
v.K .: Oh yes, that's exactly what I am!
S .: Pah, whoever believes it will be saved. I don't think it was anymore. He is
but guaranteed exactly a fake like Santa Claus or the
Easter Bunny.
v.K .: Here I am!
S .: I don't think so.

From Krolock, Sarah slips his business card.

S .: Okay, okay. Then just keep going. But pronto!
v.K .: ... oh God, that can be cheerful ... what you ask for ...
S .: Tell me, are you stupid? But you are definitely not the Christ Child. You
look like you stood right behind an exhaust pipe. The
doesn't bring up the Christmas spirit ...
v.K .: It shouldn't be! Women ...
S .: You have a problem with emancies, eh?
v.K .: What is an "Emanze", please?S .: Forget it. ... don't you want to go on at last?
v.K .: May I ...?
S .: You have the floor.
v.K .: Thank you ... The wait will soon be over, ...
S .: Finally! So you graciously made up your mind to leave?
v.K .: No! Now listen carefully: I'm trying hard to get my text here
to say, but that doesn't work if I'm a stupid cow like you always do
in between chatting!
S .: Sorry, don't get so upset! Are you a choleric or what? No
Stress, dude!
v.K .: Shut up, shut up!
S .: ... wimmer ...
v.K .: Pardon. Well then ... because I invite you ...
S .: Finally. Do you always take that long to get to the point?
v.K .: An old Graf is not an ICE, remember that.
S .: Yes, your Reverend.
v.K .: Excellency.
S .: What?
v.K .: That means: Excellence.
S .: Okay, be that as it may. Excellence. While we're on the subject of "old": How
are you exactly old?
v.K .: 407 years to be exact.
S .: What a veteran!v.K .: * pout *
S .: OK. And what, if you please, are you inviting me? To the McDonalds? For pizza
eat? To Disney Land?
v.K .: Pah! I know something much better!
S .: So? Out with it.
v.K .: At the Ball of the Year ...
S .: Whaaaas? Want to DANCE? With the pines? I am with you??? Forget it!
You don't really believe that, do you? Plus, balls are boring.
I'd rather go to the disco, or can't you tolerate flickering lights? Although,
the way you look you break anyway at the mere LOOK at nem
Dance floor together ...
v.K .: Now slowly! I used to be the best with me in town
Breakdancer at all! I'll put a hot sole on the floor for you, if you
want!
S .: I want to see THAT ...
v.K .: On occasion. No. Wait. Let me go on ...let us dance
through the night,.....
S .: I beg your pardon? You can get rid of that. It's winter, he's lying outside
Snow up to your knees and it's really cold.Because I DANCE
NOT!!! Basta. Are you gonna get me over with that? I got one
Count really expected better taste ...
v.K: Sorry, but unfortunately you don’t have it in this humble area
a lot of choice ...
S .: * sniffle *
v.K. (Takes a look at his new Armani digital wristwatch): Um
God's sake, so late? But now it's high time ... so: See you
your longing makes you a woman ...
S .: Uh, well, you always astonish me. Are you then
completely blind? I let everything hang out of the water here (oh god, if
Dad would see that ...) and the bum here says I'm a guy. Tell me,
what is this all about? You may have your contact lenses
to forget?
v.K .: No, not really. I have it in. With glitter effect!
S .: That's right ... you also look like you have twisted pupils.
Do you have your lenses somehow ... well ... wrong?v.K .: Um, to be honest, that's always been the case ...
S .: Uuuuuups ....
v.K .: Ok, whatever ... OF COURSE I know that you are a woman, but
To be honest, I couldn't think of a better rhyme for "night" ...
S .: How stupid do you have to be ...? But better go ahead before I myself
got more excited about you ...
v.K .: Yes, yes, it’s okay ... uh ... with your permission I would have to
come down ... right?
S .: If it really has to be ...
v.K .: Thank you.

You can hear rumbling. Von Krolock stumbled into the bathroom in less than 10 minutes.

v.K .: Wow, why is your staircase so narrow ??? * Wood splinters from
Puhtl the very best *
S .: Well ...
v.K .: Ok, I'd be ready then.
S .: Let it rip! Hit in, come on!
v.K .: Good. Or would you rather that everything stay the way it is ...
S .: Hey man, you could have become a rapper! Eminem would be easy for you
ready! Yeah Rock everyone off to the sound of DJ Krolock!v.K .: How can you be so stupid?
S .: Oh, don't be a spoilsport now. Just let me have my fun ...
v.K .: ...
S .: But to come back to your question ... no, not really. My father
is nasty to me, my mother too, Alfred is just annoying me again
Great, the professor pissed me off and you can do the rest anyway
to forget. No, so, stay the way it is, if possible it shouldn't. At the
I would love to be a horny rocker bride with a fat Harley and
ultra-bulky cowboy boots with spurs on their feet. Yes. That would
a life ...
v.K .: Do you think that would be enough for you? ...
S .: How often? No! And alas, now there are any
stupid comments or empty promises from your side !!!
Then you can pack!
v.K .: (I better hold myself back now ...) I guess that wouldn't be for you
enough...
S .: Oh no. I didn't think now. Man are you quickI let myself
all over here about my fucked up life and you? Yes, that's great. Am I
only surrounded by lunatics? I think I should go back to marijuana
to begin...
v.K .: Did you say ... marijuana?
S .: Yes ... Hey! Don't tell the cops about me, or I'll be screwed!
If you promise me to hold tight, I'll give you a drink
little.
v.K .: Really it?
S .: Yes. Is one kilogram enough?
v.K .: Absolutely. (Hot!)
S .: And you hold tight?
v.K .: I will be silent like a grave.
S .: O what irony!
v.K .: Well.
S .: OK ... Are you going to go on slowly then? Just a suggestion ...?
v.K .: Good. The main thing is to get away quickly (and don't forget the marijuana!)
Would you rather pray until you are gray and bitter? ...
S .: Like you ... uh ... no. No, definitely not.
v.K .: Don't say anything! I am full of life! You can see it, right?
S .: Tell me, you're stoned to the bottom!
v.K .: Yes.Before I came here, Herbert and I got together
pulled in a few more joints. You won't let yourself be any other way
bear...
S .: So please. That's not very attentive.
v.K .: Don't complain! Fucking cops got me on the way here
stopped because I flew too fast. Man, they wanted mine
Collect your ticket! Fortunately, Herbert is on his new one right now
Stopped by and kindly got his daddy out of the moped
Sh *** helped. And all because of a bitch like you!
S .: * sob *
v.K. (rolls his (already) rolled eyes): Oh God, I'll bring you well
better quickly behind
me...
S .: Dalli ...
v.K .: * hawk * - do you think that would be enough for you? ...
S .: Absolutely.
v.K .: You know that that is not enough for you! ...
S .: So. So he can also read minds. Man, you are an all-rounder! Would have
I didn't trust you now. The way you look, you can guess whatdon't even count from 1 to 10 ...
v.K .: Sure I can! 1, 2, 3, 6, 8, 4, 9, 7, 5, 10. Tataaaaa!
S .: You are really even more stupid than I thought. That doesn't work ... 6, 8, ...,
but the other way around! The 8 comes before the 6! How stupid do you have to be ...?
v.K .: All right.
S .: Could you PLEASE continue now?
v.K .: women ... they warned you ...
S .: ... In front of guys like you. And they are definitely right about that. Something like you
should be locked up ...
v.K .: ... before SIN AND DANGER ...
S .: Which parents don't do that ??? Man, you gotta be a fucking fucking one
Have had childhood ...
v.K .: Yes. My father was a drunkard and my mother still had
never time for me ... they pushed me around ... nobody wanted anything with me
have to do ... I was always alone ...
S. (tears in my eyes): Oh my God, that's