Hi Guys,
this is my first FF, so please don't be too strict with me. I would be happy about a few clerks and am open to anything. Maybe you also have a few suggestions for improvement for me. The FF is mainly about Beyblade, but sometimes characters from other animes also appear.

Here is the first chapter. If you like it, I'll write as soon as possible. So please read it through.

"..." Say something
/.../ thinks what
(...) to the text
[...]my comments

"Finally home.", Breathed Kathe, who had just returned from school and wanted to unlock her apartment. She entered slowly and immediately went to look for her mother. "Mum, are you there?" She shouted through the apartment. But she got no answer. So she put down her school bag and made her way to the kitchen. There she only found a bowl of spaghetti and a note from her mother. She picked up the piece of paper and began to read while placing the bowl of noodles in the microwave."Great," said Kate, annoyed, and slumped into the armchair. / Since Dad's death, life has been really boring. It's been 5 years since the car accident and we are over it, but Mum hardly has any time for me. She constantly has to go to appointments or meetings. And now I come home and want to do something with her again ... and where is she? 1 week in Italy because of an important customer. The same every time, I come home and find only one piece of paper from her.
Angry and sad at the same time, she turned on the TV as her favorite series began. She zapped through the program and paused on the station on which she was hearing the theme song from Beyblade. Sighing, the brown-haired girl took a blade out of her belt pocket and began to speak to him: "Oh White Rose, I wish I could do the blading like the one on TV. I mean, I'm not bad, but I want to be able to control you, want you to appear as my bit beast.You are the only one who always has time for me. I just want to get away from here, away from this place, preferably to another country or another world ... "
Just when she wanted to continue to moan, a black hole forms in front of her. She walked slowly towards it and stuck her hand in curiously. Suddenly she felt a strong pull that tried to pull her into the hole. She closed her eyes and began to scream loudly, but when she opened her eyes again, she was no longer in her apartment. It was an empty space that just seemed endless (like the space of spirit and time from DBZ). She got up helplessly and looked for someone who could help her. When she felt a hand on her shoulder, she jerked around and saw an old man standing in front of her. Kathe examined him more closely, she could hardly believe it. She would have loved to scream but her voice stayed away. In front of her was a life-size anime figure, Pr. Agasa[is that how you write it?]“Hello Kathe,” he began to speak, “you can count yourself lucky, you are the chosen one.” Kathe looked him in the eye, completely disturbed. After a moment of silence, she finally managed to say something: "How do you know my name? And why are you an anime character? I don't understand anything anymore. What is this talk of ~ you are the chosen one ~? Bring them me home, but now !! "Slowly tears welled up in her eyes, but she didn't want to show any weakness so she just suppressed it. Pr. Agasa began to enlighten her with a calming voice: "You don't have to be afraid, you probably only know me from TV, I'm Pr. Agasa and I'm a scientist. I started a project and tried your human world and the world I also succeeded, but only one person can travel through this time lock and you were chosen by chance. "Actually, Kathe didn't quite understand that, she just kept nodding to herself and listening attentively to the little one fat man too.He went on straight away: "If you agree, you can choose a new body and special skills to travel to the anime world, so what do you say?" Kathe didn't really know what to do, at first she wanted to refuse , but then suddenly her blade began to glow. / if what he says is really true, then I'll come to another world as I wanted and then maybe I can control my blade /
In a confident voice she replied: "Well, I'll do it, but I have to be back in a week!" "I hardly think so, 1 day in your time corresponds to a year in my world. That means you could be 7 years stay there and nobody would notice. Well, you can now choose a body and clothing because you can't travel to the other time like that. " was. It took Kathe a while to make up her mind, but she was quite happy with the result.Actually, apart from the color of hair and eyes and clothes, not much had changed.[You can read what it looks like in the character description. ]"If you are sure I will enter the data, O.K.?" Kathe just nodded and got ready while the pr was typing something into a computer. When he was finished, a bright light appeared and Kathe took off briefly in the air. Her heart was beating like crazy and she was getting very hot, it was much harder for her to breathe than usual. But when she got her feet firmly back on the ground, she calmed down. Pr, Agasa cast a scrutinizing look at her and examined the girl closely. Then he smiled briefly and just nodded. Apparently he was very happy with the result. Now Kathe threw a skeptical look in the mirror, which Pr. Agasa held in front of her nose. "Wow !!!" was all she could say. It was even better than she'd imagined. / Oh my God! I am really an anime character.My dream has finally come true, I will be able to control my blade ... /
But then Pr. Agasa tore her out of her thoughts and started talking again: "So Kathe, now you can choose 2 things or properties from different animes. You should, however, think about it briefly before you choose." After a long time, Kathe had pondered finally decided and informed Pr. Agasa about her result: "OK, I hope I have chosen the right one. I want a capsule of the capsule coperation[I don't know how to write it]with my blade, the starter and the rice cord." Oh , can you bladen, otherwise you should maybe look for something else ?! ", Pr. Agasa interrupted. Kathe just nodded and continued:" And I want to be able to jump as well as mistletoe. "Pr. Agasa pondered briefly and then said to the girl:" You have definitely made a good choice. Now you can choose any location in the anime world to which you will be transported through the black hole.If you want to go back, you just shout the words `dimensional journey` and you can go back home. However, you could also use an anime part in the other trips. For example from Connan to Inuyasha or something similar. Well, I think you understood that and if my feeling is not mistaken, you want to go to the beyblade part of the anime world, right? "A big grin spread across Kathe`s face and she started to nod excitedly.
Slowly she began to understand what was actually going on here and she was getting more and more nervous. she was really happy to come into the new world but she was a little scared in spite of that. The old man had meanwhile turned his back on Kathe and entered the last data into the computer. When he was done he turned back to the very excited girl and smiled at her. Suddenly black holes appeared again in front of Kather's eyes. she gave the pr. a questioning look, but he only made it clear with a wave of the hand that she should go inside.She gave him a thankful smile and then disappeared into the hole.
She fell into a dark, floorless room, it seemed as if she would fall endlessly into the depths. The only thing that she could hear was the suppressed voice of the priest: "See you soon" ...
the voice grew lower and lower until it finally disappeared completely. the girl was still falling through this strange room. She hardly knew where up and down was because she could see next to nothing. Until she suddenly saw a light, the light at the end of the tunnel. She couldn't wait to get out of here. Kathe watched in amazement as she got closer and closer to the light ...

So that's it for now. Hope you liked it at least a little. Please write clerks.
HEGDL your Sunny