It's been 5 days. Every day flies past me, it only lasts like a single second. I feel weird, like it's all just a dream. Sometimes Tamao comes into my room and looks after me, she's worried and for her sake I force myself to eat something. Today is the funeral and I'm not going. My grandparents and the rest of my living relatives know and they have informed their parents. But they don't come. Either they are no longer alive, they can't cope with it - like me - or they don't care.

Tamao puts a plate of soup in front of me, along with a glass of juice. "Yo, you haven't eaten since the day before yesterday. Please ..." She looks at me pleadingly and I nod slowly, take the spoon and start eating. She watches me worried and then gets up and brings the dishes back to the kitchen. Then she comes to me again, ready to go. "I'm going now. Please, have a drink and sleep ... Ren called earlier, he'll be right away." She hugs me briefly and then leaves.Amidamaru appears from his mortuary tablet. "Master-" he wants to say, but I shake my head. "Amidamaru, I know I could repeat it. My grandma could do that. But I'm afraid to see her again, can you explain that to me?" I say quietly. I feel that he is happy inside, after all, I haven't spoken or slept since I've been home. No wonder Tamao sent Ren to guard me. She lied when she said he called, I saw it. Does she think I'm a psychopath yet?

Amidamaru ponders and then says "I'm not sure, I don't know my way around, but I think it's because you know that she is just a ghost like me, an illusion. It is impossible for you to see her touch or ... "He breaks off, I have already understood him and he is right. Damn right.

I get up, go into the kitchen and absently open a drawer. I slowly take out a large knife and run it down my left forearm; for the time being without pressing.One vein can be clearly seen, the pulse artery. I move back up to the wrist. I hear Amidamaru's voice trying to hold me back and take over my body, but I refuse on both counts. When the sharp blade of the knife cuts through my skin, I squint because it hurts a lot. When the blood is already running down my arm, but I've only cut a small piece into it, the door to the kitchen opens and someone hits me in the face with his fist so that I lose my grip, let go of the knife and fall to the floor. At first I am completely dazed when I hear a voice that screams loudly. "Are you completely crazy, you idiot !? It's not worth it!" When I am back to my senses, I see that it is Ren who now grabs me by the collar and pulls me up. Shaking his head, he takes the knife and washes the blood off. "Where's your first-aid kit, Amidamaru?" He asks and my guardian spirit shows him the way.Since he doesn't want to leave me alone again - who knows what I would do - he drags me after me into the living room. With a snort, Ren takes out the plaster, bandage and a cleaning cloth. As he bandages my arm, he talks angrily to himself and me. "Fool. Something like that is really absurd, how can you try to kill yourself because of a girl? Totally crazy, you're not quite okay in your head anymore. I think you can be put in a slap," he says, um provoke me, but I don't respond to it. "Then do it, that's where I belong," I say quietly and immediately get another one from him. "As if we were going to put you there, there are all psychopaths! And if you pulled yourself together, you wouldn't talk such shit, really" Then he gets calmer. "Like I said, it's not worth it. You deserve to live and besides, if you kill yourself, so many people die. You still have to defeat Hao, forget?And what do you think, how we are then, no better than you, in case you've noticed that before. We are your friends and we help you "Just when I want to say 'Nobody can help me', he covers my mouth." I think I can put a plaster on your mouth right away, can't I? Just shut up, unless you want to say something sensible "I nod." Don't you want to go to the cemetery? I come with you too. And I think you owe it to her to go there before it's 2 meters underground. We don't have to go to the others either. "Again I nod, I can't turn it down anyway, and we get a raincoat together because it is pouring out of buckets. Almost as if the weather feels with me.

It is still as cold as it was 5 days ago and we are walking through the equally cold rain. After all, we are in the cemetery, at a distance from the others. I look at the people who are there. Tamao, Faust and Eliza, Ryu, Yoco, Run Tao, my grandparents, other friends and relatives and a woman I have never seen in my life.Although she doesn't necessarily look sad, you can tell that she doesn't really care who is being let into the ground. "Your mother," I think out loud and Ren looks at me questioningly. "Who? The woman in the kimono? That could well be possible, the others are just friends of yours or relatives of yours," he says and I shrug our shoulders. "I've never seen her before, but I notice that she looks a lot like her. Maybe Anna would have looked like this later too-" Ren puts his hand to my mouth again. "I told you something, don't make me slap you into a coma" I try to grin like I would have otherwise. "Sure, I will control myself" Then I continue to watch the mourning party. After about half an hour they all go to a nearby restaurant because Run invited them. We follow them unobtrusively and when they have entered, Ren and I take shelter at the entrance. "Do you want to go in? Well, I'm hungry," says Ren, grinning."You're only saying that so that I can come with you, admit it," I say with a raised eyebrow, and Ren just shrugs his shoulders hypocritically. "You are the guest of honor, my sister said, but if you are not there ..." he just says and goes in too, leaving me there because he knows that I will give up and follow him, whatever i do. Everyone stares at me, I feel uncomfortable and I go back to Ren, who takes off my jacket and hangs it up. I swallow as I sit down and Run approaches me with a smile. "Hey, Yo. You came after all" "Don't ring the bell, sister, everyone noticed it anyway," says Ren, who has just returned. Then he puts a hand on my shoulder and whispers, "Just say, if you want to go, OK? That's okay." I nod, but now that I'm here, I'll stay. Ren's own fault, he literally made me do it.

The others also come over to me one after the other, happy and sad at the same time, and give me their condolences and explain to me how happy they are that I'm there anyway.I notice that my grandparents and my mother have left, which is actually a shame. Only Anna's mother is still here, she is sitting alone in a corner. I slowly go to her and ask if I can sit down. She nods. "You're Yo, aren't you? It's been a long time since I last saw you, you were still little" "I know," I say, but don't look at her, "And Anna ..." "It has Hit you very much, I'm a little happy, it shows how much you like her, I wouldn't have thought that. She was a bit ... tyrannical before, "she said and somehow I got angry. Basically she didn't even know Anna. I don't think she had seen her smile or cry once, nor had she seen Anna go from a baby to a young woman. "Yes, that could be. I was really very fond of her," I admit. “You too?” She looks at me blankly and then looks sadly at her hands that she has placed in her lap."Of course, she's my daughter. However, I don't know exactly what she was like, I ... I'm very sorry." With a jerk, she stands up and leaves. "I don't think so," I whisper to myself and suddenly I feel a hand on my shoulder. Startled, I turn around and see how Yoco rolls on the floor, laughing. "You were so frightened that the dead stand up again," he laughs and suddenly everything goes quiet. Without showing any emotion, I grab him and throw him against a table, which falls over with a crash, causing the dishes to splinter and pop loudly. He holds up his hands defensively when I lift him up again and stand on his feet. I go very close to his face and look at him with cold eyes. "I'll kill you if you say something like that again, Yoco. This time I forgive you" Horohoro stands behind me and looks at me. "I think we'll bring you home, Yo. That wasn't okay with Yoco" He looks coldly at the not funny prankster.I shake my head. "No, leave him, he knows very well that I meant it seriously, very seriously even" Suddenly Tamao comes running up and takes my left hand worriedly. "What about your arm? Has anyone attacked you? Tell me!" She urges and I shake my head again. "Don't worry, it's nothing. I've taken care of it, at least to some extent," says Ren. He knows it wouldn't be a good thing to tell her that I tried to cut my arm open. "I'll take a look, okay? Come on" Without waiting for an answer, he pulls me into the toilet and unwraps the bandage. "Ren shouldn't be a doctor," he stated, looking at the emergency doctor for my wound. "Eliza, this has to be sewn ... A syringe please" Although I hate syringes, I let Faust do his work and finally come out of the toilet with a numb arm. "Thanks," I say quickly to Faust, who is cleaning up the rest of the bandage. "Don't worry," he says with a wink and turns back to his things as I creep outside as inconspicuously as possible.I just don't feel like messing around with the happy people in there, absolutely not. In the meantime it has stopped raining, but the sun is still covered by large clouds. I am slowly strolling down the street when someone calls my name. I turn around, startled, thinking they noticed me, but it's Hao. "Well, little brother? Everything is okay? At least I want to fight you in the final of the Scha-" "Forget it", I choke him off and he grins. "But don't you want to get a chance to 'save' the world? Just because Anna is now dead, you have no reason to give up." I go on and he follows me. “Didn't I say that I would either?” Continuing to grin, Hao deliberately pretended to be outraged: “You also lie. You tried to kill yourself, don't you call that