Attention FF-reading humanity!
Here comes another deadly boring FF from Ayumi !!!! * lol *
It's so unspectacular that it doesn't even have a title ...

Folks, that's pretty much the most senseless thing I've ever written and yet I have the urgent need to tell humanity * oro *
Please don’t be surprised about spelling mistakes, it’s just 0.30am and I’m finally finished ^^

Helpless

June 6, 1864
Ikedaya, Kyoto

The morning was already breaking when someone finally came with the tea.
"Ichimura" groaned Toshizou Hijikata inwardly as Tetsu came through the door into the small tatami room "don't drop anything now .."
"Dozo .."
Without a word, Toshizou took the tea and lifted it to Souji, who was exhausted and smeared with blood in his arm.
"Arigato ..." Souji whispered weakly and then sank down against Hijikata's chest again, exhausted.

"Can you get up, Souji?" Toshizou asked some time later. He heard the men outside getting ready to march."Shark."
Souji willingly let himself be helped from Hijikata. He was still a bit wobbly on his feet, but otherwise he had enough strength to survive the rest of the morning ...
He followed Hijikata out into the corridor. Most of the uninjured or slightly injured men were still busily pacing up and down. The dried blood of the previous night clung to the walls. He heard Kondo-san giving instructions at the entrance to take the wounded outside.

"Okita -taichou! Daijoubu desu ka?!?"

A tall, thin man had come out of one of the rooms and looked worriedly at Souji. He had been part of Souji's unit from the start, if Toshizou remembered correctly.
"Daijoubu desu yo" replied Souji with a big smile. "Don't worry, Seta-kun."
Seta bowed respectfully and Toshizou and Souji hurried past him to the entrance.
Toshizou watched Souji, but he didn't show anything.

***

The way back didn't go as Souji had hoped.The closer they got to Headquarters, the more exhaustion he felt. He tried to keep up with Kondo who was walking right in front of them and to look reasonably cheerful for Hijikata-san, who was walking next to him.

Behind them, Sano, Shinpachi and Todou were making a noise so loud that it would have been enough for ten units.
"Sano, you should have seen that when Shinpachi ..."
"And that one idiot who tried ..."

Toshizou was just thinking about reprimanding her because her talk was getting on his nerves when Souji buckled again next to him and almost fell. He quickly pulled him back up and put his arm around him
"The effect is wearing off ..."
Toshizou hadn't given Souji any Ishida powder tonight, but some opium, which was supposed to ease the pain a little. After that, Souji fell asleep for a short time and then repeatedly asserted that she felt good.
Toshizou tightened his grip on Souji, who was now starting to cough again.He should have preferred to run with Souji in the back with the injured, then Souji would not have to struggle to keep up with the rest of the unit.
"Souji, should we take a break?"
"No ... it's okay ..."
Toshizou hadn't expected any other answer. Souji did everything to not let the others notice how bad he was. He himself was no exception. Souji had fooled them all, he was now painfully aware of that. He should have known that Souji was just playing something for him so as not to worry him. It was always like that with Souji.

In the meantime he was so exhausted that he could hardly walk and put all his weight on Toshizou. Not that he minded. Souji was light as a feather.

They should be at headquarters in a quarter of an hour. Toshizou hoped that Souji would make it by then.
"Ichimura!"
“Shark!” Despite his injuries, Tetsu dashed over like a weasel."I want you to go ahead and prepare the bathroom! And put some fresh clothes on!" ordered Hijikata.
Souji writhed in his arms and obviously wanted to protest, but another coughing fit prevented this. When it was over, Tetsu was already disappearing around the next corner.
"Hijikata-san" Souji muttered weakly, "that wouldn't have been necessary, I -"
"Quiet now, you're just overexerting yourself!" whispered Toshizou.

A good twenty minutes later they had finally reached their destination. Exhausted, Toshizou Souji moved into the bathroom at the back of the quarter, which was closest to the rooms of the executives and was therefore reserved for them alone.
The morning rays of sun bathed the room in flowing golden light and gave it a warm atmosphere. Towels and buckets of steaming water were already ready, as Toshizou noted with satisfaction.
"Come on ..." he mumbled and took off his blood-smeared uniform with one hand while he was still supporting Souji with the other, who was staring into space with glassy - tired eyes.He first undid Souji's headband and then released him from his uniform.
"Hijikata-san ... I ... that is not necessary ... I can do it on my own .." Souji protested weakly when it dawned on him what Hijikata-san was up to. He tried to wriggle out of Hijikata's grasp, but lost strength in his legs and sank to the ground.
“Don't talk nonsense, Souji.” Toshizou said and knelt next to him.
"I'm solving your do now ..."
Toshizou hoped that he didn't cause Souji unnecessary pain. If one or more ribs were broken, it might hurt even more without the do's hold.
But since Souji didn't even flinch when Toshizou took it from him, his worries were probably unfounded.
Souji couldn't stand the helplessness. He would have loved to just fall asleep and wake up safe and sound. He made a hasty attempt to fight back when Hijikata-san untied his hakama, but he knew it was pointless.
"Souji, I just want to help you ..." Toshizou soothed him.Of course he could empathize with how Souji felt now and that he was ashamed of his weakness. But why couldn't he even accept his help? He had always seen Souji as his little brother and had assumed that Souji saw it the same way ...

Souji could hardly keep his eyes open from exhaustion. His chest and throat ached tremendously and he was now too weak to be able to move much. Worse than the pain was the feeling of weakness. He knew that Hijikata-san wanted to help him, but his own helplessness almost drove him mad.
Finally, Toshizou had completely undressed Souji and put him on a small stool next to the buckets of water.
He took a scarf to tie Souji's hair up. When he reached into the dark mane, he decided otherwise. He felt the dried blood of the enemy in Souji's hair. When he looked closer he saw the dark discoloration in some places."Souji, I'll wash your hair too." He explained gently as he pulled the ponytail off Souji's head, whereupon the black hair spread to the floor.

Souji didn't answer anything. He just wanted it to be over quickly and he could fall into a deep sleep. When he felt the warm sponge on his back he winced briefly. Hijikata-san washed him thoroughly and as gently as possible, but Souji still hurt when he ran the sponge over his chest.
Finally Souji was completely soaped and almost disappeared under the mountain of soap.
"Warning, water," Toshizou warned him before pouring one of the buckets over him. Souji snorted and sat there like a pile of misery ..
"One last time," said Toshizou and carefully tipped another bucket over Souji to rinse the last soap residue out of his hair.
Souji snorted again, choked and then started coughing again. Toshizou waited patiently for the cough to pass, but Souji kept coughing."Souji .." he carefully put a hand on his shoulder. Souji doubled up and continued to cough. He pressed his hand to his mouth, but there was no stopping it.
Small splatters of blood fell into the pool of water around him.
"Souji!" Toshizou stared in horror at the water that was slowly turning blood red.
"Hijikata-san" said Souji with a cough. "Gomen..gomen nasai ..."
Souji's eyes filled with tears so the pain in his chest hurt. His whole body was shivering from the cold. The cough wouldn't stop, and neither would the blood. His hand was already smeared with blood and the blood splatters had spread on his freshly washed body.
"Souji .." Toshizou shook him desperately. "Souji, calm down!" he exclaimed in horror when he saw the tears in his eyes.
"Okita-san? Hijikata-san?" Suddenly Tetsu's voice came from outside.
Immediately Souji pressed his hand even tighter against his mouth and tried to suppress his cough even more."Ichimura stay outside!" exclaimed Hijikata angrily. "Get Souji's futon ready and bring tea to his room! And don't come in!"
After a few moments, during which Souji coughed indispensably, they heard Tetsu's footsteps disappear down the aisle.
“It's good now.” Toshizou grabbed Souji's hand, which he had pressed convulsively against his mouth. Instantly Souji coughed louder and harder. His eyes looked at Toshizou desperately.
"Gomen ..."
"Don't talk nonsense, Souji!" Desperate, Toshizou brushed Souji's hair from his bloodied face.

Souji turned away from Toshizou so he wouldn't see his face. His painful face was reflected in the water on the floor, his mouth and chin smeared with blood.
Toshizou understood and let go of Souji - but after a few seconds of idleness he couldn't stand it and knelt down next to Souji again. Carefully he stroked his wet back. Time seemed to stand still and he was trapped in it.Despite the golden morning sun, the small bathroom suddenly looked oppressively cramped. Souji's cough was the only sound that filled the room. From outside they could still hear the voices of those who washed at the fountain in the distance.
Finally, when the cough finally subsided, Toshizou began to wash Souji again with it - if he waited any longer the water would have become completely cold.
Finally he took a fresh towel and turned Souji's head in his direction. Souji let it happen and Toshizou cleaned his face.
Souji was finally clean again from head to toe.
"Can you stand up?" Toshizou asked while he