Continuation of the conversation:

"To deny the negative would be a devaluation of the positive"

"Or you have to deny both .."

"What would be left then?"

"Nirvana."

"Great, another advocate of nirvana existentialism .." * g *

"Hey, what do you mean? Sounds like I'm in a sect ..." -.-

"That's why I was grinning, because I thought you would take it that way. * Smile * But it wasn't meant as derogatory as you thought."

"Well. But it seems like neither of us strive for nirvana that much. In all honesty, I like to live quite a lot."

"Well finally no nirvana pseudo fan! XD"

"Although I really don't know for sure what nirvana is now. It can best be interpreted negatively as everything that it is not. I don't know whether it is possible to give up one's identity. I don't know whether it is makes sense ?? "

"Give up identity? Where is the individuality? I don't think it makes sense, if everyone did that, you wouldn't be able to distinguish yourself from one another.How do you then know who is friend or enemy? (blatantly expressed) "

"The point would be that there would be no friend or foe any more. I am currently reading a book by the Dalai Lama again in which he says at one point that you shouldn't just love those you love. All-embracing love including even the enemy is one of the great goals of Buddhism. "

"I know that too, but then I don't think there is any friend or foe. There would be total chaos, I mean. Or what might be even worse: if individuality is lost, black and white would unite and there would only be a dreary gray, so no hope, no love etc. On the other hand, but also no pain etc. Man, I'm complicated again today! "-.-

"Yes, exactly. The dissolution is total calm; the final absence of chaos, good and bad, happiness and unhappiness. It would not be boring, because then there is no more boredom, because there is no longer the counterpart of tension.Boy Boy. I'm afraid that is beyond my imagination. "

"But could you really live without these things? Could you lead a life without happiness, joy or sorrow or anything like that? What is the point of life after the Pandora's box is closed?"

"The seasoning is missing, isn't it? But as I said, that's not why I'm a Buddhist. The way I understand it so far, I don't agree with the goal; maybe I'm wrong too. You can also gain peace by not only strives for happiness, but also accepts unhappiness. No depression, no euphoria, see both, accept both, recognize both as always flowing. "

"(Right, I'm a diverse person) and you mean to tell me something?"

"Uh, I don't know!"

"Great! " -.-

"But where we are with the Dalai Lama: he always starts from the following: all people, regardless of their culture, are basically the same, that they 1. strive for happiness and 2. want to avoid suffering.He builds on that. What do you think about?"

"That's right. Who doesn't want to be happy? And who doesn't try to avoid suffering ??"

"But if you compare that to the world we made for ourselves? Apparently we often make it harder than it is necessary, don't we?"

"Unfortunately, this is due to human fallibility."

"Fallibility. If we were infallible, would we just strive for happiness and prevent as much suffering as possible? But why don't we?"

"If we were infallible, that is, if we were perfect, we would not strive for happiness and avoidance of suffering at all."

"Then you say that fallibility also includes wanting to be happy. So you have to strive for flawlessness; how can mistakes be good?"

"Mistakes in this sense are good because you learn from them and grow with them. In order to become infallible, you first have to know mistakes. Since you make mistakes, you learn to appreciate happiness."

"Okay. Mistakes make you who you are. I am who I was.How are you these days? "

"With that I should first know what you mean. What does that mean, you are who you were? Did something go wrong?"

"Uh ... that means that I basically don't regret anything, not even that I hurt some people. I regret it in the sense that I don't want to repeat these mistakes. I have no desire to go back in time The sum of my actions brings me to this point in my life and makes who I am today. "

"I understood that, but that doesn't really make me understand why you are talking about who you are today in the past."

"You mean the phrase" I am who I was "? I don't mean that I haven't changed. It just means that I can't say today that there was no yesterday. The past cannot be changed and the present builds on everything from the past. Objections? "

"Nope, should I?"

"Well then - how are you? I don't want to just hang around about myself.""I'm still alive! * G * Nope, in itself quite passable apart from physical suffering ..."

"Well, you die all the time - and emotionally?"

"Sorry, but I won't let anyone see it. Be satisfied with this answer."

"Wasn't meant to be angry. Absolutely nobody?"

"Sorry, if it just came across as beastly. I gave someone a glimpse once and I was deeply hurt. I knew beforehand that this would happen, but I took it anyway. Well, and that's why I'm moving intend to keep it under lock and key .. "

"Was that person ER ??"

(Editor's note: ER does not mean God, but one of the interlocutors once had a very important person in his life a long time ago. He meant ER to me, even if it could be a woman.)

"You mean what you call e.g. Hidden Place ?? Yes ..."

(Editor's note: Hidden place means something, either a place, a person, or something else, where you can find real security and a home.Although it differs from person to person what you associate with Hidden Place.)

"And you regret it? I'm very sorry for you. I used to confide in someone carelessly - today I probably wouldn't lend my diaries to anyone anymore."

"No, I don't regret it. The time we spent together was the best of my life. But that's how I also learned not to reveal my inner being to anyone. It just pains me now to see how much he still means to me. And you lent someone your diaries? How did that come about ?? "

"I thought I could be very open. More spontaneous, actually, and being who I was, I thought it was ... funny? Back then, I was always looking for an" interesting experience ".

"But that was a lesson to you, wasn't it?"

"Yep. Knowledge can be misused. Although I'm still friends with the person (again). But I wouldn't borrow it again."

"I wouldn't have done anyway.""Are you doing anything about" him "?"

(Note from the author: with "him" is always meant "ER". When speaking of "he" etc. is the language, "ER" is also always meant.)

"Unfortunately, I am wavering between" Should I or should I not? ". I would like to, but my pride (stupid) and my mind are violently opposed to it."

"Then you think it would be more sensible not to do it?"

"I don't know what to think anymore. It's totally confused ..."

"How do you find the distance between you? Is it more reassuring in that case?"

"On the one hand it makes me sick, on the other hand I also get almost insane around him! * Rave * Forget raving about it ..." -.-

"In what sense" insane "?"

"Actually he drives me crazy in a loving sense, it just sounded too corny."

"Are you in an uproar then, in a positive sense?"

"Yes!" * Hibble *

"Oh soo .."